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little advice please

I didn't want to have my situation put in the quagmire that is "fuck buddies" in sex, I wanted genuine answers.
I started going out with one of my good friends from college, after about 3 weeks we'd had sex, but we split up, she said she didn't want to be tied down. Thing is, we have carried on having sex and kissing, because we both enjoy it and didn't want to stop. And it seemed too difficult going back to being just mates.
But what happens in the future? I still want more, I do want us to be BF and GF, and we do act like a couple, holding hands and things, and for other people like my parents we are going out.
But what are the chances of this situation actually lasting without one of us being hurt? I do know we can't go back to the way things were, but I want to know what I can expect. I was her first, which should count for something?
Thanks mateys
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've been in a similar situation, although anything could indeed happen between you two, it is unlikely it will end happily - she's keeping you at a distance making out she wants to be a free agent and although you're close, sooner or later another person is goin to come into the equation, either for you or her.

    Is it that you have difficulty letting go, maybe it would be best for you to do so in the long run of it
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've been in exactly the same situation..

    The other problem you're probably having is you can't really get upset and deal with the fact you can't have her..because it's just like you do, holding hands, kissing, cuching, etc (exactly what i did) but not officially tying down or going out..infact we'd agreed to be not seeing anyone else for a while too but still wasnt allowed to be her BF..

    It didn't end all in tears, we have been able to keep our great friendship, but we still do slip up a bit.. :/

    If I was you mate I'd talk to her, either make a relationship now (even a casual one) or get out of there, because I don't want to see you get as hurt as I did.

    Thinkin of ya..

    Phil.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Whowhere:
    <STRONG>we split up, she said she didn't want to be tied down.</STRONG>

    Give up the bondage! <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

    No, seriously mate, that's not enough info to go on. We'd need to know her very well indeed, better than I know you even, to be able to predict whether it will all end in tears or all end in happy-ever-after.

    The chances are that it will end, simply because of your ages. You'll both change a lot in the coming years, and both changing in the same ways so that you are still suited, well, its rare.

    All you can do is bear in mind that there are never guarantees in life. Even marriages end, so this relationship isn't really any more handicapped than any other. For now, you are together and generally enjoying being that way. That's about all you can ever ask.

    One thing not to do is stress, because worrying about tomorrow will only spoil your appreciation of today (and her appreciation of your company today).

    Carpe diem, my friend.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think nearly everyone has been in this situation atleast once!
    I know i have. This guy and i had been friends from the age of 7 and as kids/teenagers we messed around with each other a little (we all do it) at 15 just after i had split up with his mate we finally slept together, we did have a relationship not a long one! I am now 19 and dont see him or speak to him. I lost the only friend i ever trusted through school coz of this. I'm not saying this will happen but think about things you might lose but then as your friends already the things you could acheive will be so much greater.
    The reason me and this guy dont talk is nothing to do with the relationship but to do with me finding out i was pregnant.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    she might still change her mind about a `proper` relationship. when i first met my husband i was adamant i didnt want to be tied down, I wanted to still be able to see other people, but i never actually did go off with anyone else, and our relationship got more and more serious. it actually sounds as if you are already boyfriend and girlfriend, its just the title shes having trouble coming to terms with. give it time and dont pressurise and if its meant to be, it will be
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Black_Knight:
    <STRONG>

    Give up the bondage! <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

    No, seriously mate, that's not enough info to go on. We'd need to know her very well indeed, better than I know you even, to be able to predict whether it will all end in tears or all end in happy-ever-after.

    The chances are that it will end, simply because of your ages. You'll both change a lot in the coming years, and both changing in the same ways so that you are still suited, well, its rare.

    All you can do is bear in mind that there are never guarantees in life. Even marriages end, so this relationship isn't really any more handicapped than any other. For now, you are together and generally enjoying being that way. That's about all you can ever ask.

    One thing not to do is stress, because worrying about tomorrow will only spoil your appreciation of today (and her appreciation of your company today).

    Carpe diem, my friend.</STRONG>


    Well, how do I describe her? She is very affectionate, we get on very well, and have done for 3 1/2 years. i think the best way to describe her is girl next door. We talk about everything and anything, and we could class ourselves as best friends.
    She did make me promise that if we split up we'd stay friends, however one reason why we're doing what we're doing is because we were both going out for 3 weeks, but it was too weird JUST being friends if you get my meaning.
    I do know all good things come to an end, it just got me thinking when a work colleague said there is a large chance that when it does end things won't be the same. Which I do realise that it's too late to do anything now anyway lol.
    Hopefully though we'll start going out properly when she's got used to her new job and stuff.
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