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abt time i asked for help???

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
well this is a big riddle lasting abt 4 yrs and still no closer to an answer any help would be much appreciated.

here goes...

4 yrs ago i was with a lady.. lasted 2 months before i bailed ship.

3 yrs ago we got back togehter.. 2 months later she did the dirty on me and then bailed ship abt a week later.

kept in touch for abt 6 months usual stuff.. i was chasing her and she was just winding me up abt her new fella... etc... untill we would argue fall out and agree to go seperate ways...

i found my current lady and things were ok...

the ex then got back in touch same old story i chased her she just told me how much she loved her fella etc.. same again we fall out agree to go seperate ways....

abt 1yr half ago me and the current lady spilt up and the ex split up with her fella (so we where both single) again she got back in touch and we tried to get along (email andd text since we split up the second time no contact in person!)

we met up with my mates etc.. and she was miserable as anything anyway... same story after me thinkin we could get back together (signals she was sending me.. texts etc..) we argued and agreed to go seperate ways...

i got back with the current lady and things were ok till feb this year... guess what.. she was back emailing and texting me....

untill last week it was still all at arm distance.. text and email was going well a few minor misunderstandings but we were both making the effort.

so i saw her in the pub with 2 mates so i went and said hello very neverously..had a brief chat and then left her 2 it....

since then i aint heard from her...

any answers cos shes got me baffled...

in case your wondering yes i really like this lady and all i would want is either to have her or for her to dissapear completely..

y does she always get in touch?
y is it always at arms length?

hehe and y do i bother??

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Firstly, please don't text speak. Reading that was murder.

    If I read it right then I would give the first girl a wide berth. She seems to pop up to get some attention then disappear again. My advice would be to ignore her if she got in touch again.

    Concentrate on your current lady.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    no probs, i wasnt writing in text talk i was just explaining abit at a time becuase there was quite abit 2 it and i wanted just the facts and not the cr*p

    theres alot more to it than that but i see your point and yes i would like to do that and thats my next step its just frustrating because that aint what i want to do.

    .......

    just cos im rated a newbie dont start patronzing me by telling me how i should and shouldnt write.. ive been reading this board for abt 4 yrs!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by thedaveyb
    cos im rated a newbie dont start patronzing me by telling me how i should and shouldnt write.. ive been reading this board for abt 4 yrs!

    Erm... that's fine... but you're still using text talk!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sorry my mistake.. i will use the queens english from now on....

    come on people do you really care that much how i type i came on here for help not an english lesson...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well if you've been reading for four years you would know that text talk doesn't go down that well and it's in all the 'user guides' for every single forum so... no need for the sarcasm.

    I think this girl is just fucking you around and I don't think she sounds like she's worth it. If you're happy with the current lady then stay with her, otherwise don't be with either of them!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Woah. Lets stop and start a fresh. I pointed it out because text speak is difficult to read and if you kept using it you'd get flamed. If your a veteran of 4 years you'd have seen this happen time and time again. That's all. There's no need to be defensive.

    As for your problem, it's going to be difficult to get over the girl if she keeps getting in touch. It's difficult but try and make a clean break.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you hit the nail on the head mate.

    sorry im dyslexic and a really bad speller so i was cheating and using numbers etc. sorry for being sarcy am i full of a cold and in a rotten mood.

    thats the problem if the ex aint there im happpy with my lady but when the ex is there then i aint
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by thedaveyb
    you hit the nail on the head mate.

    sorry im dyslexic and a really bad speller so i was cheating and using numbers etc. sorry for being sarcy am i full of a cold and in a rotten mood.

    thats the problem if the ex aint there im happpy with my lady but when the ex is there then i aint

    That's cool. Consider it your right of passage onto the boards.

    Do you really want the ex in your life? I don't know the full story so I can't really tell how she's behaved. If your not happy with your girlfriend then maybe you should split. At least until you clear you're head.

    Good luck.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you heard the saying if you run they chase and if you chase they run that kind of sums it up.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sounds like you need to get the ex out of your life. sometimes theres a physical attraction that will never go away but if you argue all the time then it doesn't sound good! i can't tell you why she always gets in touch, possibly for the attention when she's feeling down or wants someone. but for the sake of your relationship now and anymore you may have in the future cease all contact with the ex and be grateful she's stopped bothering you for now.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeh there is definetly that although between me u and the keyboard most of my mates havent been that impressed and i get a lot of stick for her but as they say beuaty is in the eye of the beholder or something along those lines anway...

    its not fair to say we always argue cos we dont we only argue when i try and force the issue.. ask her simply what she wants from me etc.. and the usual answers are i dont fancy you, you dont mean anything to me etc...(which if thats the case then why dont you fuck off??)

    in short cheers people i do agree with you just its kinda what i know already... i like this girl too much just to drop it and forget it although u do have the self restraint to leave it till she gets in touch. im just after answers to make the whole thing more bearable i quess??
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ive seen a similar thing happen before, but at the other end.

    one of my female friends and her boyfriend broke up, and for the next 2 years she was either ignoring him or texting him. the only times she texted him however, were when things in her life were going wrong, eg other relationships... she just wanted someone to be there to reasure her i guess. she did this to about 4 blokes, that i know of, and i hope they have the sence to realise what a complete bitch she was to them- she never had any attention of persuing things, just pestering them and preventing them from moving on in their lives...

    so as a conclusion, dont let this girl do to you what my friend did to these blokes. youre best off without her! ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    intresting... i read the rant on the site about 'part time friends' seems to ba long a similair line

    its just been her birthday which would be one reason to brag and the other was just after she got back in touch i was told all abt her holiday to crete with her mates this june.. so yes i think you got a point there.. even tho you are one letter off having the same name as her!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Infinite
    Firstly, please don't text speak. Reading that was murder.
    How was reading that murder??? He used a few bits of txt speak in the middle of ok english. :rolleyes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Lickalotapuss
    How was reading that murder??? He used a few bits of txt speak in the middle of ok english. :rolleyes:

    You're absolutley right. I just re-read it and had no problems. Must of been because I was tired earlier. My apologies thedaveyb.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    is someone gonna answer the question :rolleyes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeh i know that feeling....
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by wheresmyplacebo
    is someone gonna answer the question :rolleyes:

    I don't know what more there is to add. We've all said it would be best to make a break from the ex. Once that's done, eventually things might get more bearable.

    Why didn't you answer the question?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeh thats fair enough.. i know the general consensus is make it or break it and considering it cant be made then i should break it.. fair doos.. what i would like an answer to is why is it all at arms length...and why does she get in contact

    for example

    3 weeks ago we where textin and emailing... the ex text me on say a thursday and said hi sorry i aint been in touch been busy how r u? (we had only been speaking the day before!!)

    a few texts and emails later and i offer to meet for a drink... (by text..) and got no answer (ignored?).. this was after 2 months of being in a text and emaill cycle as per...

    i hope that shows what i mean by always at arms length if not i have plenty more examples!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Obviously this is purely a guess, but she might like having power over you. She does it to get attention but keeps you at arms length so she can drop you any time she wants. If you actually met up she would be forced to answer your questions. By texting etc she can choose to ignore you.

    Bare in mind I don't know the girl or anything about her. It might be best to talk to your mates and get a more informed opinion.

    I'm most likely wrong but that's my answer.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeh thats a good answer.. still begs the question why bother tho?

    the best was 2 weeks ago i sent an email and asked what do you actually want from me as plain and simple as that.

    i didnt get an answer till 3 days later when i got an email off her asking whether i knew anything abt php and websites... the cheeky thing was this email was a direct reply to the question i had sent so i know she had read it

    i can appreciate what you say abt face to face cos thats what happened the second thing i said when i did see her in the pub was ask y hadnt she answered my text? and also said jokingly that she was just a cat with a ball of string she liked flicking around to which she laughed.. at that point i left her to it (quit while im ahead!)
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