personality crisis

Former Member

i am having a major personality crisis @ the mo.

Basically, i have this really great friend. she is the bestest person you can imagine, she is honest and hardworking, intelliegent sweet, pretty and always there for you.

But i kind of resent her for it, because she always shines and i'm always there in her shadow and no-one notices me. i know that sounds really selfish and i know i am lucky to have such a good friend, but i just want to be recognised for me, not "xx's friend."

And i dunno it's like i can't be me when im around her, because im just labelled at her friend. No1 is interested. And to anyone who has dun the spark.com personality test and has seen that im a dreamer, im not too good @ talking to people, and i have all this stuff going on inside and i don't let it out, and i don't let people see it.

So when im with her, i kind of put on this loud act just to get noticed and its not me, and people don't like because of it <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt; it's so fake and i cna't help it, it just comes out. It sounds so selfish and everything, and i don't know why i need this kind of recognition from people that i don't even know, it's crazy and stupid and selfishly horrible.

I just want to be happy for her, but i can't. She gets all the boys, and i'm always the one they come to when they need advice of how to get with her, they are all so completely mesmerised by her, and today i was talking to my guy friend who i have known 4eva and he was sayin that shes fantastic and everything, but everytime someone says something like that it makes me feel bad for myself instead of feeling happy for her. and that is why i feel selfish.

It's not like i even like the guy, he's a mate, im not jealous @ all, i just wish that someone would like me for who i am the way that every1 likes her, but its like no1 knows who i am inside except u guys, and i find it so hard to talk to ppl in real life they never know the inside and maybe that is why people don't like me.

Im just a big selfish, squishy mess <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif"&gt;

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There's a girl in my mirror
I wonder who she is
Sometimes I think I know her
Sometimes I really wish I did

Former Member

no ur not selfish at all, u just want people to notice u a lil bit more and there is nothing wrong with that. i feel like that alot to, just cos im the quiet one i hardly get noticed and it really annoys me. but i bet you are noticed alot by ur friends and if u werent there they would miss you, they just aint good at showing it. one day ur friends will show u that they appreciate you, usually these times are when they need ur help but it does mean something if it is u they come to for help isnt it?! i hope everything gets better for u
<IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; shazz <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

Former Member

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Drifter}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} it is hard to live in the shadow of a friend especially with confidence issues. I'm sure your friend although unaware of how you are feeling, counts her blessings to have such a kind, considerate and selfless friend like you. IMHO it's your friends and these boys who are being ignorant if not selfish, if they can't see what a great person you are, I don't really know what so say other than that, you are not selfish, you just want,need and deserve some TLC. You know where we are if there's anything we can do.
{{{{{Drifter}}}}}
Love Al xxx

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~ If you can see the beauty of whatyou aspire to, it doesn't matter if you achieve it all. Simply to aspire is no mean achievement ~

Former Member

(((((((((((Emma))))))))))))

I know how you feel - 2 girls I hang around with at school - 1 is GORGEOUS - pretty, cute, intelligent, funny, etc etc <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt;
Girl number 2 - bags of confidence - pretty, fun, popular, SUPER sporty = great body <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt;

I feel completely inadequate next to them and never get noticed.

I can't offer any practical advice, being in the same boat myself and seeing no way out, but I can offer sympathy and point out that the great thing about this site and the net in general is that you can be yourself to people and if we say we like you then you know it is you we like and not some persona you're putting on.

And may I say, on behalf of all your friends here...........

WE LOVE YOU EMMA! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

(((((((((((((Emma))))))))))))))

Former Member

Originally posted by Drifter:
i just wish that someone would like me for who i am the way that every1 likes her, but its like no1 knows who i am inside except u guys, and i find it so hard to talk to ppl in real life they never know the inside and maybe that is why people don't like me.

{{{{{{Emma}}}}}}

This bit you wrote reminds me of the way I was about six months ago, and I just thought I'd offer you a bit of my experience in the hope that, if it doesn't help, it will at least give you something to think about and maybe aim for in the future....

I went away for a week to Germany with four others from my school who I didn't really know that well. It was a work experience trip with people from all across south England, so there were loads of people to get to know. Without the friends I normally hang around with, I had to talk to the others more than I might have done if they'd been around.

As a result, I learnt to be more confident in my own ability to make friends and be valued as a person in my own right. Now I am able to talk more to my friends from school because I feel more secure being myself. Whoever you are, you have qualities that make you a unique and special person, and you should never be afraid to show them.