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Dumb drug question

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Sorry if this is a dumb question. My ex went through a stage at 16 when he took just about anything he could get his hands on. But for the last 5 years hes taken nothing, not even had a pint or a joint. But since we split in November (we were together for 6 months) hes moved back to Northern Ireland and back to his old mates and now hes smoking joints on his own at midday, drinking a lot and goodness knows what else. I know I'm probably over reacting, most of my mates like a joint, the odd E or a bit of cocaine at the weekend and it doesn't bother me, but this does. Is his behaviour normal or a bad sign? And please no one tell me that its none of my business, cos I already know that!!!:blush:

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe he kept off all of that stuff because he cared for you that much?

    If he is stressing out over the break-up, then he may, as a lot of people do, be trying to get over it with the help of drugs. I'd keep an eye on him whether you think it's your buisness or not, maybe asking him why wouldn't be a bad idea either. Some people turn to drugs because they think that it'll solve their problems.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know hes doing this because of us breaking up but its hard for me to keep much of an eye on him if I'm in Scotland and he is in Northern Ireland. I know it makes him more unhappy when I phone him, though he says it doesn't and that hes fine. My family and friends say I shouldn't be in touch with him at all (he was emotionally abusive and sexually violent when we were together) and say I should leave him to kill himself if thats what he wants. His own family wouldn't notice a change in him if he started to wear dresses and call himself Emily, they're that uninterested. Should I keep in touch and try and help him see that hes not solving anything, or should I just leave it and hope he works through this himself?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, you shouldn't let his problems interfere with your life. If he was sexually abusive, I wouldn't care, but I don't know the situation. Initial shock of a the break-up is what I'd put it down to. It just seems like he can't cope with his own emotions so he's getting headfucked. Eventually he should get over you, maybe find someone else, but definately move on. So I'd try and forget about him and only help him if he asked for the help.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know he treated me badly, but even though we've been split for 6 months I'm still in the 'its all my fault' mindset and feel guilty for splitting with him. I probably should leave him be.Thanks for advice.:)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No problems. You shouldn't have to feel bad about splitting up with him, and if you do, it should be nowhere near as bad as you should feel if you were in a relationship leading him to believe that you liked him when you actually didn't. So you did the right thing. Hope that made sense and that it all works out for you.
  • JadedJaded Posts: 2,682 Boards Guru
    Hi there ~*Angel69*~, You were with your boyfriend for a while so breaking up must have been hard no matter how you were treated, and you obviously still care about him a lot.

    But how he behaves now is his responsibility, you can do absolutely nothing to change anything or make him happy. He has to work this out himself. All you can do is get on with your own life and with making things happen for you. I hope in another 6 months you will look back and wonder what you were putting so much of your energy in to this for, because it is all going nowhere at the moment.......
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