Relationship Conundrum...

Former Member

Someone help me please, im going insane. Basically my problem is this:

Ive got a really good mate - who's a girl. We get on really well and talk everyday, but the problem is.... ive fallen for her. I really love her and would like to have something with her, but the real thing is im afraid ive missed my chance. She was "available" a while back and I was thinking of going for it, but i didn't want to ruin what we had already. Now she has a [horrible] boyfriend who shes been seeing for 6 months. Shes the most amazing girl - intelligent, funny not to mention unbelievably beautiul... what should I do?

Former Member

This is a really difficult situation - as i guess u already know?!
Iv been their myself and i know its hard. Does she have any idea how you feel at all? How much does she like this guy - is it serious? Thing is - you could tell her how you feel but then if she still stays with this guy it could just ruin the great friendship which you already have. Maybe you could just drop subtle hints and see if she picks up on them. I wish you luck! Lucyxxx <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

Former Member

Hi, well i think she knows i like quite her and shes always quite flirty with me, but i wouldn't want to risk the friendship...
Im not sure about the other guy, hes 2 years older than her and could be classed as a

"bad/devious guy" They've been together for 6 months, so I presume they are fairly serious.
Its really getting me down, cos i have to bottle up the feelings in case i ruin our relationship....

Former Member

Hi JR84, I think you have to ask yourself how much do you value the friendship? You could possibly damage it by letting your feelings be known but I think that you should tell her how you are feeling and that seeing her as just a friend is starting to eat you up inside. Could you really be her friend and watch her go through different relationships.. or are you her friend because you are hoping that she may see you as more one day... very difficult situation to be in? (I should Know!!)

Former Member

You can't do anything to try to split them up - it makes you the bad guy! You are just going to have to hope that it ends naturally, and soon. Then ask her out and stop being such a wuss about it. If she's as good a friend as you say, the worst thing that can happen is that she'll say 'sorry, you're just like a brother to me, I dont think it'll work'. Sorry if that sounds a bit harsh, but you have to be realistic. Maybe you could spend more time away from her doing other things to help take your mind off it a bit..

Former Member

I know I sound like a wuss about it [i can assure you im not one :P] but you have no idea how I feel about this girl. My heart melts every time I see her and I wouldn't do anything to break up the relationship we have now. But i cant just go on like this, its really eating me up seeing her with someone else. Do i risk telling her and losing her friendship or do I carry on and hope for some 'luck'?

Former Member

i think (and this is purely my opinion) that you should tell her especially if it's driving you insane and see what happens - the worst she can say is no, Unless your a complete jerk about it she's unlikely to not want to still be your friend, and who knows maybe the reason thats she's with a "bad/devious" bloke as you put it. is because maybe she's waitng for you to come to your senses and do something.

Former Member

Originally posted by lurvlylucy:
This is a really difficult situation - as i guess u already know?!
Iv been their myself and i know its hard. Does she have any idea how you feel at all? How much does she like this guy - is it serious? Thing is - you could tell her how you feel but then if she still stays with this guy it could just ruin the great friendship which you already have. Maybe you could just drop subtle hints and see if she picks up on them. I wish you luck! Lucyxxx <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

I think lurvkylucy gave the best advice. Just give her hints that you like her more than just a friend and she may eventually finish with this guy and tell you she wants you more!

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The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart.

Former Member

Personally I reckon subtle hints isnt always enough especially when you have a really good friendshiip with some1, a lot of my male friends are just flirty people and I definitely dont take everything they say to heart.
If it was me Id just jump in at the deep end and tell her, no farting about, if she doesnt want to pursue a relationshiip with you tell her you are fine about it and that you wanna still be friends but needed to get it off your chest. You will just feel really sshit if you bottle it up.

Former Member

Thanks to everyone whos answered so far.

So you all think I should go for it... Any ideas on what to say?
"Hey, i like your... face...." is just about the limit of my 'subtle hints' but for this occasion I could use some help from the ladies. What should I say to her to give her the impression i like her 'in that way'?

Former Member

this is coming from a bloke - but just tell her how you feel don't try subtle hints or ways of letting her know - just plain and simple tell her to her face how you feel - it might work it might not but if you bottle it up you'll only feel worse and worse