If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options
Girls making the first move
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Just what do you think about girls making the first move?
I find it much easier than to wait for ages until the lad I like plucks up his courage and comes up to me himself.
It actually works very well, although I'm worried not to look promiscuous.
Is confidence appealing or repulsive?
If I tell a bloke in a bar I find him good-looking, does it make me sound like I'm a tart?
I find it much easier than to wait for ages until the lad I like plucks up his courage and comes up to me himself.
It actually works very well, although I'm worried not to look promiscuous.
Is confidence appealing or repulsive?
If I tell a bloke in a bar I find him good-looking, does it make me sound like I'm a tart?
0
Comments
Any decent guy would take it as a comliment. A jerk probably would but he'd say something like "yeah so give me a s**g" or something like that. As you may know, I don't like to make the first move! I prefer the girls to make the first move. They haven't yet <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif">
People seem to think that guys should make the first move. Why?
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart.
Yeah, it happened to me once. But most of the times it is possible to predict an approximate reply :-)
People expect guys to make the first move, because apparently it has been a tradition since the Stone Age. However, sometimes I just can't be bothered to wait for him to down all those pints till he feels confident enough.
--> Broken Heart, why don't you like making the first move? You know right well that it is expected from you ;-)
I don't know really! I just can't
[This message has been edited by Broken Heart (edited 28-11-2000).]
I see you are online. Wanna chat?
(to the point of making the 1st move hehe ;-))
I dont find myself being rejected very often either. Not like im some sex goddess or anything. If someone was nasty to me when I made the first move or said fancy a shag then well obviously they are not so nice as what you first expected.
:-)) It seems that girls on this site are somewhat more confident than lads.
I reckon, why not give it a try? It's nothing to lose and all to gain. If someone laughs at you, you can always take your revenge later <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">)
Maybe the girls are lads & the lads are girls <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif">
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart.
And I'm not a boy! I'm a young man!
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart.
Ahh, we are getting into details here <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif">
I'm almost 18 and I don't want to refered to as a little boy <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"> I'm over 6' dammit he he
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart.
[This message has been edited by Broken Heart (edited 29-11-2000).]
LOL. Very insightful. That is so me.
Harry is very definitely on the boat.
Maybe that's not surprising. A lot of us lads have had to get used to quite a few rejections or being made to feel like we shouldn't even bother talking to certain girls. Girls on the other hand often just have to wait for the 'right guy' to approach them, turning down all the others, and even if not so popular aren't expected to go through the painful process of making a move and seeing if you're rejected or not.
Ok, a bit of a generalisation. But it's how it's always felt to me in the past.
I think it's most people, judging from what happens at nights at my uni.
Im my humble opinion this is not true, as we fear rejection as much. God, every time I make a move I fear he'll think something like: "And what does this fat cow wants to do with me?"
The worst thing though is the peer pressure. For me it's worse to realise that my mates know I've been rejected than the rejection itself. And it's not like you go out alone. Girls always worry that her mate looks better, is dressed more stylishly etc.
However despite of all of the above I still do it <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"> Don't ask me why <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">
In this case here's a sound advice:
While drinking those pints, look at the girl you wanna approach. Don't look INSIDE your glass as if you've never seen one. And if you made some eye contact it's not a good idea to go red and retreat to the men's room just seconds later <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif">
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart.
Ummm, this is so sweet! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">
It's true! I go so shy when people stare at me!!! Male or female. But especially female
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart.
I can't even bring myself to go up to the girl! I just get so shy and nervous! I even get nervous when I'm playing pool and everyone is watching! I'm getting better now I've left school and I'm at college but I still don't have the guts!
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart.
Yeah sorry, just feeling pangs of bitterness from the past. I was however pointing out as well that it tends to be blokes who make moves, not girls, and therefore it's them who face rejection a little more. You're maybe slightly unusual in making moves... but like I said, it was mostly just bitterness that post anyway. And like you said, there's more than one kind of rejection.
Still, I'm happy nowadays anyway <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">
Oy you! And MaLkAv! You're fine talking to Spirit, Chica et al on here - do you really think that other girls around you are that different? I mean, everyone's different of course, but you know what I'm saying...
I know it's harder talking to people face to face - it's more personal (which can be niice) and can be more intimidating. Just remember that you are someone who deserves their attention and who they'll like talking to. If you find it hard talking to girls in general, try to find some lower pressure situations for you to chat to them (e.g. clubs / societies / down the pub with friends etc.) to get used to that, then work your way up from there.
This is so true, I know I hate going out in big groups because you always think everyone else looks better than you. Believe it or not I used to be really shy but since I started to go to town more often I am an absolute loony and always the life and soul of a party, if I spot a guy i fancy they dont get a chance to come and say hi coz I pounce on em straight away, if they dont like me i know theres always another around the corner.
The longer you guys leave it the harder it will get, do something now and syche yourselves up b4 you go out or youll never have the confidence.
There is no such thing as you cant do it and one day youll wonder what all the fuss is about. I certainly did and now I love it!!!