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I have to rant
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I have been trying to hold back from boring you all to tears, but I can't do it any longer.
Why the hell do I keep falling for people I can't have?! At least the last girl I liked was bisexual (she got a boyfriend the day my emotional, confessional letter arrived through her door tho which was incredible timing on my part), but the person I'm most attracted to a year on is gorgeous, devastingly intelligent, one of my closest friends, and very straight. She's one of my only Christian friends, which on the one hand is great but we differ in our attitudes towards my sexuality. She won't accept gay relationships, doesn't think they're part of God's wish for His people, etc. but that is beside the point except that you see how little chance I have?!
AND to add insult to injury she and another friend mess about by pretending to be gay. It hurts like hell to see her doing that with another girl. It's just little comments and the occasional peck on the cheek and I know it's facetious so don't try to tell me that it means they're gay / bi, I know that they aren't. But I can't stand it. And I can never, ever tell her this because she disapproves so damn much.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
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Why the hell do I keep falling for people I can't have?! At least the last girl I liked was bisexual (she got a boyfriend the day my emotional, confessional letter arrived through her door tho which was incredible timing on my part), but the person I'm most attracted to a year on is gorgeous, devastingly intelligent, one of my closest friends, and very straight. She's one of my only Christian friends, which on the one hand is great but we differ in our attitudes towards my sexuality. She won't accept gay relationships, doesn't think they're part of God's wish for His people, etc. but that is beside the point except that you see how little chance I have?!
AND to add insult to injury she and another friend mess about by pretending to be gay. It hurts like hell to see her doing that with another girl. It's just little comments and the occasional peck on the cheek and I know it's facetious so don't try to tell me that it means they're gay / bi, I know that they aren't. But I can't stand it. And I can never, ever tell her this because she disapproves so damn much.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
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Comments
Never been there myself, from the sexuality issue. anyway. The guys I've had "dealings" with have almost always tried it on with me, I've never had a gay "crush" (I promise I don't mean to sound patronising when I say that), but I can still imagine it'd be hard.
But I've been there from the whole wanting what you can't have issue. I could tell you that because it's not just an issue of someone who doesn't happen to fancy you, it's someone who isn't even the same sexuality as you then it might make it easier to get over. But it won't, because I suspect you've been over it a zillion times in your own head, and it all comes down to the same issue of unrequited feelings.
You'll get over this in time (again I patronise - sorry) and I'm sure you've got you're own way of dealing with it. All I'll say is that I hope this sorts out in a way that makes it possible to keep the friendship so that you're feelings aren't tearing you apart like they seem to be now.
Hang in there.