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Destined 2 b single?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ive been freaking out lately thinking that Im gonna b single for the rest of my life. I mean who's gonna want me with someone elses kiddo? I know loads of girls who have split with the fathers of their babies and found new blokes but I just cant c it happening. So tell me lads, if u really cared about someone would u carry on the relationship even if she had a child with someone else? Also do u think its wise to tell a bloke straight away that I have a kid, or get to no him first? The way I c it, if someone loves u they will b with u regardless of anything that goes with it (ie a child) but even though I think this I just cant imagine myself ever finding another bloke.
Am I destined to b single for the rest of my life?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i know that i wouldn't have a problem if a girl already had a kid - i'd treat it as if it were my own. if the guy really cared about you he wouldn't care about the fact that you already had a kid. and you should let them know about the kid early, not straight away but early on
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree with MaLkAv. If I loved the girl enough then I would be willing to help take care of the child. I like kids and they like me for some reason! I know it would make the relationship more difficult because of the child but it wouldn't bother me. I would like kids one day!!!

    Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanx u guys, I hope u r all right!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    we are right - if a guy really cares about you the kid won't matter - if he makes it an issue then he's not the guy for you
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    And of course when you find someone who really cares about you, then your kid actually will matter as well; someone to share the love with <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">.

    [This message has been edited by JB (edited 28-11-2000).]
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Looks like i'm going be the only bastard in the thread then. I can't picture myself going out with a girl that has a kid.

    Having said that, that is not because it is someone else's. That is because he don't want a kid in my life right now at 23.

    However, when I reach the stage of my life where I am ready for children, I don't think the presence of a former parnter's child would have any influence if she was the right girl.


    Harry is very definitely on the boat.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by HarryOnTheBoat:
    Looks like i'm going be the only bastard in the thread then. I can't picture myself going out with a girl that has a kid.

    Having said that, that is not because it is someone else's. That is because he don't want a kid in my life right now at 23.

    However, when I reach the stage of my life where I am ready for children, I don't think the presence of a former parnter's child would have any influence if she was the right girl.


    Fair enough!



    The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by HarryOnTheBoat:
    ... Having said that, that is not because it is someone else's. That is because he don't want a kid in my life right now at 23.

    However, when I reach the stage of my life where I am ready for children, I don't think the presence of a former parnter's child would have any influence if she was the right girl.

    I think the same goes for quite a few people. After all lots of people don't want any kind of serious relationship until their mid twenties. Equally, some do <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; so just keep your eyes open lolly.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Cheers u lot, and Ill keep my eyes open JB <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif"&gt; Harryontheboat (think thats right?) I dont think u r a basterd for writing that. I value everyones oppinion wether they agree or not. Thank u for your honesty.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My mum has three kids, only my brother lives with her and shes HIV positive and she is engaged. My brother who lives with her is always nasty to her boyfriends and makes life very difficult for them but she's still kept him.
    Im sure you will find some1 no matter what because there always some1 out there for you who;ll love you regardless of your situation and however many children you have.

    Thats my opinion anyway.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by lolly:
    Ive been freaking out lately thinking that Im gonna b single for the rest of my life. I mean who's gonna want me with someone elses kiddo?
    The way I c it, if someone loves u they will b with u regardless of anything that goes with it (ie a child) but even though I think this I just cant imagine myself ever finding another bloke.
    Am I destined to b single for the rest of my life?

    Having a child does change the amount of commitment in a relationship. - you can't just hang for a fun time with someone who is a parent -- they end up dashing off because of the babysitter, you can't make much noise in the bedroom.

    With everyone I know who has got together with kids, it has been with one of their friends, (hell two of 'em were practically fighting over my sis).

    My Uncle didn't get together with anyone till his kids were mid teens

    This next bit seems heartless, but it is meant seriously.

    Have you considered adoption?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Spirit:
    My mum has three kids, only my brother lives with her and shes HIV positive and she is engaged. My brother who lives with her is always nasty to her boyfriends and makes life very difficult for them but she's still kept him.

    That's a touching story <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt; BTW, would I be too out of order asking why you don't live at home? <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    Harry is very definitely on the boat.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by lolly:
    Cheers u lot, and Ill keep my eyes open JB <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif"&gt; Harryontheboat (think thats right?) I dont think u r a basterd for writing that. I value everyones oppinion wether they agree or not. Thank u for your honesty.

    No problem. And JB is right anyway. There are plenty of blokes the opposite of me.

    And yes, HarryOnTheBoat is correct <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    Harry is very definitely on the boat.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Carriage Return:
    Having a child does change the amount of commitment in a relationship. - you can't just hang for a fun time with someone who is a parent -- they end up dashing off because of the babysitter, you can't make much noise in the bedroom.

    With everyone I know who has got together with kids, it has been with one of their friends, (hell two of 'em were practically fighting over my sis).

    My Uncle didn't get together with anyone till his kids were mid teens

    This next bit seems heartless, but it is meant seriously.

    Have you considered adoption?

    No, I never even considered adoption as I personally think an abortion would have been a better option than that. Thats just my oppinion but I could never bring myself to give up a child I had carried for nine months, it must be a very hard thing to do and I am not strong enough to do it.
    Also I want this child. I will be a good mum and dont need a man as I can do equally as well on my own. I didnt plan to b a mother so young but it has happened and Im not upset or worried about it. Im gonna deal with it in the best way and Ive always wanted kids anyway.
    I am just bothered that nobody will want me in the future, but bringing up a child on my own isnt what bothers me. Loads of people have done it and I know that I can too <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;
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