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Still Hung Up
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I am still hung up on one of my closest freinds. I did try to tell her i like her in person, but i could not say anything. Then a few days later she told me she knew, and well that nothing could happen.
That was 3 months ago almost and i still have feelings for her even though i mostly, about 98% know that nothing can ever happen between us.
I had a party on Saturday, and i ended up getting upset over her. Partly because of what is mentioned above and partly because well she did not seem to be talking to me and seemed to be flirting with a couple of freinds who know that i like her, one of them is even gay. At my own party i ended up in tears in my room babbling onto people about it all. It is really messing me up, i want these feelings to disappear.
I have fancied her on/off for 19 months:yeees: through this time she has had boyfreinds, but she has been single since the end of last year. My feelings have been strongest for her since about December. Anyway I was talking to my phycologist about it today, and she seems to think that the only way that I am going to leave this all behind is by talking to her in person and being honest to sort it out. I really would like to try, but im scared because well I have already tried talking to her once, and i did not manage to do it. Also of course i have already heard once, abeit only over msn that nothing can happen, but i am not asking her out, i just feel i need to be honest. Despite this i am afraid i will mess things up between us, things were slightly weird between us the last time. Though i discovered recently that the last time i did it, her ex boyfreind who cheated on her was trying to get back with her, so maybe i put it on her at a bad time.
I would just like some advice about what to do or say, where and when even to talk to her, as i do not see her often as she as a different school. Though easter is coming up.
Thank you
That was 3 months ago almost and i still have feelings for her even though i mostly, about 98% know that nothing can ever happen between us.
I had a party on Saturday, and i ended up getting upset over her. Partly because of what is mentioned above and partly because well she did not seem to be talking to me and seemed to be flirting with a couple of freinds who know that i like her, one of them is even gay. At my own party i ended up in tears in my room babbling onto people about it all. It is really messing me up, i want these feelings to disappear.
I have fancied her on/off for 19 months:yeees: through this time she has had boyfreinds, but she has been single since the end of last year. My feelings have been strongest for her since about December. Anyway I was talking to my phycologist about it today, and she seems to think that the only way that I am going to leave this all behind is by talking to her in person and being honest to sort it out. I really would like to try, but im scared because well I have already tried talking to her once, and i did not manage to do it. Also of course i have already heard once, abeit only over msn that nothing can happen, but i am not asking her out, i just feel i need to be honest. Despite this i am afraid i will mess things up between us, things were slightly weird between us the last time. Though i discovered recently that the last time i did it, her ex boyfreind who cheated on her was trying to get back with her, so maybe i put it on her at a bad time.
I would just like some advice about what to do or say, where and when even to talk to her, as i do not see her often as she as a different school. Though easter is coming up.
Thank you
0
Comments
Look mate, I'm sorry to tell you this but from what you told me I think it's time to let go.
They girl is obviously not interested in getting involved and possibly finds your friendship with her more important and doesn't want to ruin that.
She already knows that you have feelings for her and she has told you nothing will ever happen. I suggest for you to move on.
Don't let yourself dwell on it, it will not do you any favours.
You've admitted what feelings you have for her... but I believe it will do you no good by telling her. You may in result be hurtin by her telling you that she doesn't want you to act on those feelings again.
Edited to add: *HUGZ* Find a girl that does deserve your affections and move on.
XoX Sam XoX
I know that is time to go, I have been trying to stop for ages but it does not seem to be happening. I just feel like that if she is one of my closest freinds that i should be honest with her. I know nothing is going to happen but that is not really the point of talking to her about it. What i want to say is that I really want to carry on being mates, but i have these feelings for her still. I figure that if i talk to her in person about it, it might be able to end it for good.
I also think that the 'someone' else factor might be holding me back, as well there is not really anyone else around at the moment. It seems i have liked a lot of my freinds and well im at the end now. There is noone left amongst them i can fancy. I don't want to meet new people just with the intention of stopping fancying my freind. I beleive this happened at the end of last year, i jumped into a relationship with an older girl from work and after a few weeks i did not like it at all. I was being pushed to do 'things' It made me realise that i had had feelings for my mate all along. A bit harsh of me i guess. But yeah.... I seem to be stuck in a loop.
Good luck, I know it sucks.
*hug* Picc
x
Firstly *hugs*, I'm sorry you're having such a tough time.
All this can be so exhausting and I'm not sure this will help but it's worth a read.
Hope it helps some,
CB
I know, its awful. The thing is in January I tried to tell her. We had spent the evening together, we had gone for a meal. At the end i did try to tell her but i could not say anything, i wanted too but nothing came out. I was so annoyed when i got home. Then a few days later over msn she asked me what was i trying to say. I said it was nothing, she said she had guessed anyway.... I apoligised. Then she said:
"dont be sorry, but nothing like that will every happen between us, too good a mate :-) im sorry "
So the point is that i have already tried and i have an answer. I think i will try to be honest with her and talk in person, but i am worried that the same will happen and i won't be able to say it....
also i dont want to jepodise the freindship again, things were a bit odd for a few weeks afterwards. To be honest i have not seen her alone since then.... is it worth it, just so she can say no? But then again how will i ever get over it?:(
Which mate? [/nosy]
*hugs* It's hard when u like someone and you knwo they dont like you back... LIfe throws some crap at us, but we usually get through it somehow, usually with the support of good mates
Good luck.
Talk to her and then make your choices.
I tend not to show it around her, to be honest when i am with her i just kind of forget it. Its only when im away that I think about it.
I just give up now though, im not going to bother talking to her. Besides come 6 months time i will be off to uni, so wont see her often, if at all...