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Think im being used here! HELP!!!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Ok - i could really do with some advice here people!! Theres this guy i work with - who i see twice a week and think that i may have fallen in love with. He has a girlfriend, but has been very encouraging towards me and basically is unfaithful to her with me and asked me to sleep with him. I havent - yet - but iv been further with him than i have ever been before with anyone else. The thing is - sometimes after we've been intimate he ignores me or doesnt call me and i feel really used. Then when we row, i get really hurt but we always make up, do more 'stuff' then i get hurt again. Thing is - hes a really good friend to me as well and i miss him when hes not there. AT the same time tho i dont think i can handle feeling used all the time, and seeing him with his girlf at college. What the **** am i supposed to do!! HELP!!!!!

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My Opinion.
    Steer well clear of him.
    Its this treat em mean, keep em keen, I know this sounds cruel but I have been with quite a few guys who have got girlfriends and they just like to shag about really. They never have any intention of finishing thier girlfriend and starting a relationship with you, they just see you as an easy way to get off. In my experience when the guy has known that Ive really liked them they have used it against me. They know they can get away with things, and that because you like them that you wouldnt try and split them up with thier girlfriends. As for him being a really good friend to you, that is all part of the way the play it, he may want it to seem that way to you so that you are under his thumb a bit more if you get my drift. If you are feeling used there is a good chance you are being used but you cannot see that because you are so wrapped up in your feelings for him.
    Im sure you can find a better guy who will like you and only you.

    On the other hand he could really like you, Im just telling you what I think from where Im sitting. You need to sort this out soon because the longer you let it go on the harder it will be to let go.

    If you gave him an ultimatum and he chose you, could you trust him knowing that he is being unfaithful to the girlfriend he has now.

    There are so many things to think about.
    I hope that you sort this out.
    I have been through this so many times, it would be nice to hear what you decide and what happens between you both.

    Good Luck!!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my opinion (and this is coming from a bloke)

    is get out and get out now and stay well clear of him
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanx for your advice - I know u guys are both rite! Its just really hard u know?
    Unfortunately - steering well clear isnt really an option- i have to work with him! So i kinda gotta at least be civil you know? Other wise its just shit at work and that sucks. Im talkin to him now - havent been for the last week - but as of yet i havent flawed and given him 'nethin' that he wants - YET!! Gotta stay strong! Wish me luck - oh and by the way - are there ANY decent guys out there? Lucy (18) xxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    there are decent guys out there trust me, i Know i'm one of them. read the topic Nice Guy Syndrome to find out a bit more about me
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lurvly Lucy, my ex was cheating on me all the time I was with him, I found out 8month into the relationship, I was madly in love with him, he trated me like shit and used me, but I would never admit it to myself until I met his other girlfriend by accident one day. I have spoken to him a few times since and he doesnt get to me anymore because I was able to stay away from him for a while. I really feel for you though being around him all the time. Good Luck I believe in you girl and I dont know you Im sure you will get through this.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tell him to fuck off if he makes anymore advances.He's a **** to you and his girlfriend.He's just taking advantage of the fact it seems like you like him.If he tries it on, get it tape recorded or photographed when you kiss him, then get a mate to give it to his girlfriend.that'll teach the bastard.
    come on ladies, email me on gt2masta@hotmail.com !!!!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry to sound horrible here but think about how you would feel if you were the girlfriend in this picture and you didnt know anthing about you two if she finds out and he is such a nice guy (obviously something in his personalty that you liked) she might get very upset by this blow I agree with the others there are some really nice guys out there who are single go get one girl and save everyone some hurt!!!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You don't need a guy like this. He just wants all the attention from 2 women. however, like a few other people in this group have said, you just need to follow your heart!! Confront the guy. If you love him that much make him choose between you and her.

    If her chooses you then great. If not then you know where you stand.


    Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by j9j9:
    Hmmm, interesting, Broken Heart & Spirit are both in Manchester, and you & LurvlyLucy are both in the Midlands!

    Does this look like a matchmaking possibility to anyone else???

    j9

    LOL does it <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;


    Life is like a beautiful melody, only the lyrics are messed up
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You tell me!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok im back - just thought id let u know- im not talkin to him again and i still aint done nothing! He really pissed me off at work the other nite so i ended up walking out and walking home on my own - he hasnt even phoned to see if im ok! BASTARD!!! But im ok - i think - i cant tell! Never mind eh?! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/confused.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Nothings ever easy is it!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stay strong and you'll be just fine
    anytime you need to talk you got my email addy
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey any1 wants to talk I'll be an email shoulder to cry on 2.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Spirit:
    hey any1 wants to talk I'll be an email shoulder to cry on 2.

    Me 3 and this guy sounds like a jerk so try not to let him upset you!


    Life is like a beautiful melody, only the lyrics are messed up
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I reckon when you get a new guy he will take your mind off the other guy and you always end up thinking what the hell did i see in them anyway!!!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know yeah! Im trying to meet that perfect bloke believe me! Thanks for all your support guyz - Ill email you if i need some help or just for a chat! Thanks a lot! Luv Lucyxxx <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lucy - did you get the email i sent? if so was there something i said that upset you or worried you, or is it just my email playing up again, or is it just you've been busy and not had time to reply?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I got it! Im sorry i havent had time to reply yet! Iv been goin out and getting drunk and then of course when i do come on the net i come in here! Im sorry - how are you?! Im fine just knackered - im ok about the whole bastard bloke thing now - thanks for your email - you didnt day anything to offend me at all -i was happy to hear from you - although i dont have messangers i will try and email you as soon as i can ok? Thanks for chatting to me!! Lucyxxx <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thats good i was worried i'd said something to offend you when you hadn't replied i look forward to hearing from you soon
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't tell me we have two simultaneous site romances in the making <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    j9
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by j9j9:
    Don't tell me we have two simultaneous site romances in the making <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    j9

    LOL are you the lover doctor or something?


    Life is like a beautiful melody, only the lyrics are messed up
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    J9 we know hes falling in love with me!

    hehehe
    <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Spirit:
    J9 we know hes falling in love with me!

    hehehe
    <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif"&gt;

    but you not falling in love with me <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/rolleyes.gif"&gt;


    Life is like a beautiful melody, only the lyrics are messed up
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by j9j9:
    Don't tell me we have two simultaneous site romances in the making <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    j9

    I don't know, maybe - we'll see.

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i really wouldn't know cause lucy keeps forgetting to email me back - and it's a bit difficult to find out if i can't get to talk to her.

    HINT HINT lucy

    [This message has been edited by MaLkAv (edited 29-11-2000).]
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    IV WROTE BACK NOW! sORRY! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Broken Heart:
    but you not falling in love with me <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/rolleyes.gif"&gt;


    I never said that did I, anyway I reckon weve been getting on pretty well, chatting to each other and that.

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Spirit:
    I never said that did I, anyway I reckon weve been getting on pretty well, chatting to each other and that.

    He he I know jus teasin!


    The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart.
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