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What do i do

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I really need some help, I've been with my G/F for 11 months and really love her. 3 weeks ago she dumped me, 2 days after i saw her walking out of work holding hands with another bloke, i went mental i nearlly killed him. We have now got back together and she says that the bloke was just a friend and that he was holding her hand to say thanks for a fag?(most likely).
The main problem is I keep finding numbers on bits of papers, and new numbers on her mobile and she never lets me see her mobile and never has it turned on when i'm around, but gets the hump with me when i turn mine off. Tonight she has gone round to her best mates house for a girly night in. Just before we left her house her friend foned to tell her that her boyfriend was still round there. When i dropped her off a bloke opened the door and i could see another 2 people in the house as i drove off. Its really eating me up inside! What shall i do? All advice is welcome

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Calm down and stop being so a) paranoid b) aggressive c) possessive - men like you make me sick
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by gh0stie:
    Calm down and stop being so a) paranoid b) aggressive c) possessive - men like you make me sick


    Intelligent advice until the word calm
    Posters like YOU make ME sick.


    It matters not who won or lost, but how you place the blame.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why? because i think people LIKE him are pathetic? Thinking that they can rule their partners? Well i have opinions.
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    Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Posts: 2,822 Boards Guru
    Originally posted by gh0stie:
    Why? because i think people LIKE him are pathetic? Thinking that they can rule their partners? Well i have opinions.

    i dont think you really GET this site, gh0stie. people come here with problems, to ask advice. the purpose of this site is to have reasonable discussions and HELP people. you are not helping this guy, you are just slagging off people who do things like he does.

    i think you need to reconsider what youre doing here, you cant just slag people off and expect them to help you out when you need them.

    Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ignore ghostie for a start.

    I don't think you're being paranoid, agressive, or anything like that.

    True, you can't control her. But that shouldn't be translated as 'you can't let her go off with other lads'.

    I think she's messing you around or winding her up. I think you should feel free to ask her whose the phone numbers are, who was round her friends house, etc. She should be able to ask you the same things.

    Bet she'd change her tune if you started acting like her.

    I love my girlfriend, but if she started messing me round and holding hands with other lads, I'd drop her like a hot brick. I'm not an agressive person but I believe in sticking up for myself and not looking like an idiot. If she was holding hands with another lad, I'd have something to say to him. What I'm trying to say to you is, don't get walked over.

    I think you might be best off finding a new girl, sorry.

    I hope this helps you. If you do stay with her, I hope it works. I do think you need to be a bit more assertive with her, if she does love you then you won't lose her.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    dont let anyone tell u otherwise u are not being jealous it sounds to me like she is leading u both on why else wud she have her fone off and not let u see. im not being funny or trying to upset u but its true sorry m8 but try to talk to her u are better off without her!

    love
    angel
    xxx

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm sorry but I have to agree with 'ghostie' to a certain extent here... in these situations you do have to take a step back and calm yourself down before you act... you can't just nearly kill someone because your ex was holding hands with them!! I can understand you being upset, especially after being with her for 11 months, but is it really worth it if you can't even trust her to go on a girly night out??
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    look speedy i know this may be hard to take in but you have to let her go!11 months is a long time but i was in the same situation,i was with my man for a year and then he decided to sleep with my best mate(eastenders i know)you have to let her go and if she wants you back let her do the running in the meantime find yourself someone else.
    theres plenty more fish in the sea i found someone and so can u!

    lolly
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Get rid of her noboy should be messed around its unfair. It may be hard to let her go at first but you have to or you'll be getting hurt forever. Hope it turns out ok! xx

    Jade xxx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It all seems pretty dodgy to me. I don't think you can trust someone who is obviously lying and flirting with other men behind your back. Ask her straight about all this phone bull-shit and new numbers, if shes cheating on you or can't give a decent reason, kill her pet cats as revenge. That'll teach her to mess about with you.

    "Excellent!" <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/Gif/burns.gif"&gt;
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by gh0stie:
    Calm down and stop being so a) paranoid b) aggressive c) possessive - men like you make me sick

    I think the one think you missed of your list lady is commitment to a person. If a female feels she cannot commit herself to one guy then she should not try and make a monkey out of the one she is supposed to be with. Men have feelings too you know.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well said synergy.

    Does anybody think that if a woman cheats they dont get the stick that men would get?

    Everybody has feelings - i think you should just ask her - straight out ask why is your phone off/why cant i have a look in it?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Lordofchaos:
    Well said synergy.

    Does anybody think that if a woman cheats they dont get the stick that men would get?
    I agree with that to a certain extent, but that maybe because whether true or untrue it seems to be men (more often than not) that cheat.

    But back to the subject of ur gf...
    I know excatly how it feels and even tho it's probably true, people tellin u to back off n the likes don't help right?
    Ya know the only way you're gonna get over this is to talk to her. Surely u can after 11 months of togetherness?
    tell her you're worried, it'll help both of you sort things out.
    xxxs


    No man is worth your tears, and the one who is won't make you cry.
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