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Am I a freak?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm a 19 yr old lad and so far I've never been out with a girl, ever!

I usually get told "ah, your a really nice guy". I have friends who are girls, just none of them seem interested.

Am I just some big freak, or is this normal?
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    u alrite davey,
    Listen there is no particular reason why u aint bin out with a girl..if what u said is true then ure odviously a nice guy but alot of the time ive found if u got 2 friendly with a girl they often will tell u alot of personal stuff an never want 2 b more than just friends..go clubin or down the pub an chat a girl or 3 up find out if there interested an dont b a mate b the object of there affection..try it an c..hope it all goes well
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i have a similar problem. im 18, and although i have had a g/f in the past, i wud hardly describe it as a proper relationship, as we only we went out for like 4 or 5 days b4 i dumped her!

    yet loadz of my friends r female, and can quote examples of me 'being a really nice guy, chris' untill they're blue in the face. its just a shame that other girls dont know that im a nice guy coz they dont know me. even my ex-g/f told me i was a bloody nice guy just after i'd dumped her!!!

    i think wot u have 2 try and remember here is that slow and steady wins the race in the end. u might not b in a relationship right now, but when u do, it will b longer and more fufilling (is that a word?). im reliably assured by ppl on boards frequented by older clientele than this 1 that we'll b beating them back with sticks by the time we're 25, when women get a bit more mature, and actually start going 4 the sort of guys they say they want rather than the ones they say they dont want. this may not help u now but it can reassure u that u wont die alone!!

    Because I want more stars.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Cheers for making me feel better.

    I'm just quite shy, I suppose and find it difficult to talk to girls that I don't know. There begs the question, if you don't talk to them, how do you know them? A kind of viscious circle I suppose.

    I think probably I'm getting there, slowly. Feel a bit more confident about myself now as have joined a gym and seem to be getting fitter, slimmer, etc..

    Hopefully all will pay off, but sometimes just wonder if I'm really getting anywhere.

    Have been rejuvenated over night by watching Ally McBeal & the other wierd Australian programme (Secret Life of Us) on Channel 4 last night.

    Where there's a will there's a way! I'll keep you posted of any developments.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hang in there Davey boy, trust me Im 18 and in almost the same position hang in there
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My bloke has always been the "nice guy". Turns out there were loads of girls who were really interested in him but just wanted him to ask them out(mutual friend told me, but I'm glad she didn't tell him or he might have been with someone else by now!). We don't all want bastards. You sound considerate and sensitive(the two nain things I love about my bloke), but you should take care of yourself emotionally and physically and let the rest fall into place. We need more men like you!! YOU ARE NOT A FREAK!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    By the way, Soldier Boy makes a good point, women do want male friends but don't try to be their "best friend" or anything. If you do get it on with her it could feel like incest!(like sleeping with her brother or something...YUK!)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree. Been there before. There was this girl I really liked, so I thought lets get to know her and be friends first. But it just meant then that then she never wanted to see me as more than a friend. So must try not to make same mistake again.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    We need more men like you!! YOU ARE NOT A FREAK!!

    Here here.....i totally agree.

    You will find happiness just be yourself <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    just a question, how many have u asked? Coz u can complain as much as u want, but "u're a really nice guy" is usually a chat up line, r u sure ure just not picking up the signals?

    Devon
    The earth is made of dirt and wood, and I'd be water if I could
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You're probably right about the signals thing. I just seem to have no idea if someone is interested or not. A while back there was this girl I was friends with, I wasn't interested in her but she might have been in me. Other people I knew told me she was, but then again they used to wind me up quite a lot so didn't know whether to believe them. However as I was good friends with this girl one day I asked her and she completely denied it. But she might have lied because she thought I wasn't interested back/thought we might not remain friends, etc.. So I guess I'll never know.

    The other week my housemates were trying to educate me in body language - but it all seems so complicated. Whilst going through this process they tried to analyse my body language - disaster struck.

    They thought they could tell that I liked one of my female housemates. I tried to laugh it off with out going bright red (as she was there) - because I do kind of like her.

    Afterwards they told me that my body language then became defensive.

    Maybe they were just winding me up - as usual (I do believe almost everything people tell me for some unknown reason). But perhaps there was an element of truth in what they were saying. So I think I'm going to have to pay more attention how I act (although a lot of it is subconscious) and try and be a bit more tuned in to what's going on around me instead of living in "Dave-world" all the time.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Body language is very important-women are just as anxious as men with all this kinda stuff-female pride is as easily damaged as male pride. If you come across as defensive you could scare women off, but on the other hand a man of mystery can be pretty interesting! Try to relax a little though-you will be more natural and appealing then. Fucking hell, I sound like Claire Raynor!! Oh shit!! Save me!!!!

    Little Angelxxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    your not a freak. If anyones a freak its my oldest brother. Hes 22 and never even kissed a girl!

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yes, ur a freak. ur unorginal, ur obviously quite boring and "comedy"!? HA! you wouldn't know comedy if it walked up to u and slapped silly with a wet haddock!

    but don't worry, the girls will come.

    If there's anything more important than my ego around here, i want it caught and shot now
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't be so mean, Turtle!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh shutup Turtle, being honest is one thing, but there is NO need to be like that.


    Winners never quit and quitters never win !!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

    [David Attenborough voiceover]

    And here we see a new species, the common-or-garden Turtle, displaying it's chacteristic subtle and caring approach to other people's problems. Scientists have speculated that perhaps this species has evolved to the point where the ego blocks out large parts of the real world, and the Turtle can no longer cope with anything other than it's own problems. Nevertheless, despite recent worries about the rarity of this species, it still continues to inhabit these boards, and with careful conservation of it's natural habitat, perhaps one day can be released back into the wild......

    [/David Attenborough voiceover]

    <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/new/catinthehat.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Turtle.. that was so cruel, I've decided to use my first post to challenge you to a duel at dawn armed with deadly wet slapping kippers. I throw down the gauntlet to you sir.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i agree, that post was COMPLETELY uncalled for, it was demoralising and not at all funny.

    of course, it got a reaction, and showed which people had a vague sense of humour. but i still do not condone a course of action that leads to wet kipper duels!

    I don't live to work, I work to live and I live at the weekends. I'm the last of the big time drinkers.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ROFLOL <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    are u laughing at or with me? =/

    If there's anything more important than my ego around here, i want it caught and shot now
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dave, I'm a suy guy but come on it's easy to no if a girl likes you in 'Just a friend way' or if she fancies you'

    All you have to do is drop hints, even if it's by texting her, if she dosent give the response you want make a joke of it and move on to the next girl.

    If she questions you on what you said, just teel her the truth and if she's anything of a friend she will forgive you and leave it in the past.

    DO NOT do this if it's obvious she is happy with someone else or she just plain thinks your ugly.

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Turtle:
    yes, ur a freak. ur unorginal, ur obviously quite boring and "comedy"!? HA! you wouldn't know comedy if it walked up to u and slapped silly with a wet haddock!

    Turtle is speaking from experience so he would know, being a houmourless shelled-freak himself the wet haddock still haunts his dreams! Turtle, go to your "happy place".

    "Excellent!" <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/Gif/burns.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Here, here.

    Winners never quit and quitters never win !!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Nice to know there are other people in the same boat as me. I am 20 and haven't had a girlfreind since I was at school. I feel rather embarressed by the fact that all my mates are getting sex and I'm not.

    If at first you don't succeed, hit it with a bigger hammer.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I could have sworn I replied to this message. What I was going to say is that I'm 20 and I haven't had a girlfriend since I was at school, so its nice to know there are other birdless Daves out there.

    If at first you don't succeed, hit it with a bigger hammer.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah! We're not the only ones. Also Captain Slog there's another guy in the sex section (Lonely lad) whose 18 and he's not having much luck either. There's also a link to pulling tips on that topic.

    I do feel much better now. Sometimes it just seems that every other bloke in the world has had a girl friend and you think - why not me?

    Here's another thought: it seems to bother me more that I haven't been out with a girl more than the fact that I haven't got a girlfriend at the moment.

    Also is it ok to call girls 'girls' or should I be calling them women/ladies. The other week I called one of my female house mates a 'girl' and she didn't seem too impressed.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry, the lonely lad topic is in the Relationships section "Pulling Tips. HELP ME!! "
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ah, my messages did post. For some reason, threads with more than 15 messages (indicated by burning folders) have a big delay in adding messages. I have a thread on this issue in the "Anything goes" section.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Comedy Dave:
    There's also a link to pulling tips on that topic.

    there's only one pulling tip that works every time. get v.drunk (i was also on a weird drug concoction when i found this out, not by choice, spiked drinks) walk up to a good looking guy/girl, and get off with them b4 they have a chance to object, most people so admire ure confidence they give u their number straight off.

    Devon
    The earth is made of dirt and wood, and I'd be water if I could
  • Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Posts: 2,822 Boards Guru
    *doesn't object to being called a girl*

    in fact, i actively encourage it, as you can see <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;
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