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relationship abstinence

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Well, as I posted a few days ago, I broke up with my girlfriend about a month ago. But my request for help consists on the following:
HOW DO I FORGET HER!?!?!? I can´t get over her and it´s driving me crazy, I´ve been like this for weeks and weeks and it doesn´t go away. A pain in my chest and a constant desire to talk to her. And when I do, it just makes me feel worse, because I can´t have her back. And the worst part is, I shouldn´t want her back, because she cheated.I write poetry, and I thought writing poems about this would help me reach closure on this matter, and for a day or two, it would help, but then the feeling would come back twice as bad. Any advice for me? HELP!
John

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    <IMG SRC="confused.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="confused.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> keep busy, go out more, keep in company of good friends, then find someone who will not cheat
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Really am sorry to hear that John, seem like you will do better with out her in your life in the long run, but that easy to say now right

    try writting her a nasty letter,(you don't have to post it) it may help you

    or you could drink your self silly <IMG SRC="rolleyes.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

    Err talk to ChesseOnToast, You both seem to be in the same boat.

    sorry i couldn't help, hope you get this girl out of your head!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i went through it a couple of months ago and i think i'm getting there slowly but surely.

    First thing is in my opinion dont hide away on your own. Surround yourself with your mates. Go out and have fun.

    Secondly break off all contact with her. You will only keep thinkin opf her if you's keep in contact.

    Thirdly Dont drink just to get her out of your head. I went through that stage for a few weeks and was just constantly drinkin and gettin in to fights even with my mates.

    Try and occupy your mind with other things. Such as work or sport or something.

    Hope you start to feel better soon its damn hard and you probably think at the moment that its impossible dont worry thats kinda normal and the pain does eventually go away.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Aren't we a sorry lot?

    I went through this a few days before Christmas. My family were brilliant, and supported me the whole time. I didn't eat properly for a month or so, continual lack of focus and still have, and I miss her more than anything.

    But it has got a bit easier over time, and it will do for you. There's lots of things you can do.

    You can try and find someone else, but I'm dubious as to the success of rebounds. You can try writing her a letter explaining everything, hating her, whatever, then burn it. It's quite satisfying.

    The pain doesn't go away easily. If you fell for her, then it's not going to be easy. You will find what works for you.

    Lots of people hate; I can't do that. I don't hate her, and I don't blame her. (Despite it being easy, and her seeing an ex- who confessed to feelings for her... to me.)

    It's difficult, and results in a lot of introspection; you wonder what's wrong with you and what you could have done differently? That can get you down.

    This site is good. Talk on here, share your thoughts, your feelings, and you'll get support through what seems like a bad time.

    I know I did.

    Hope it helps.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah I'm in the same boat, except I just kissed my ex, so that fucked things up royally, now didn't it?

    Trust me mate, I'd much rather be in the position where something is definate, whether its together or apart, not constantly wondering what to do with myself/my life etc.

    The only advice I can offer is that you get your good friends and they'll support you, if it weren't for my friends/family I would've killed myself by now.

    If you need to chat to someone in the same boat then email me personally hypa83@hotmail.com

    Chin up,

    Phil.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well falling apart consists of all the opposites when you fell in love in the first place, always wondering *if*, aprehension anger, upset, even revenge? too many negative feelings to deal with your self so like cheese - your good friend and family will support you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for the feedback guys. Keeping busy is something that definitely works (too bad I hate it, and have a hard time living like that) I´ve written her a few things I haven´t sent her, it´s a good release for a while. I know this will go away in time, it´s just that it´s taking forever, and what makes it worse is the thought of her with her new boyfriend (puagh!). It´s hard to keep my mind off that. Then again, there is something good that´s come out from all this, I´ve written the best poems and songs I have ever written (very depressive btw).
    I just hope it all goes away soon. Thanks for your advice and time. Take care
    John
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Can i just say as something extra to this - DON'T HAVE EX SEX. It fucks things up royally. I was doing it just after my ex who broke my heart and i broke up, and it's now been 11 months and i'm still not completely over him. It will get better tho babe, i promise. At least she didn't run off with your best mate! (happened to me, not fun.) Cheer up, and you'll get over her in your own time, ignore people who say things like 'you should be over her by now' - it's not helpful, the healing process works at different speeds in different people.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for the tip, it´s not like I would have a chance to anyway though, it was a long distance relationship and I won´t get to see her anymore anyway. About my friends, well, I don´t have many of those (only 2 in fact) and they are not the "preassuring" type. Thanks for your time. I just hope I get to heal soon, because I get this damned urge to call her or talk to her, and I know I musn´t.
    John
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i know exactly what you going through i broke up with my lad about 7 weeks ago and i still think about him alot and what makes it worse is that i fell for him i fell for him big style he said all the stuff like " i love you" your the one for me, your my perfect lass and i belived him stupied eh he even keept saying all this stuff when we split and hes been really really horrible since we split even though it was his decission and he confuses me big style by calling me babe and sexy when we are texting i dont know what he is feeling or anything like that as he aint spoke to me about us splitting.

    now i just try to get on with my life as best as i can i try not to speak to him but its hard apart of me still wishes we will get back together but i know it wont happen.

    in any cases just try not to think of her go out and you will meet new people and you will look back and think what did i see in her

    it will get better i promise you just have to keep you head up

    hope everything turns out ok for you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I split up from my ex after 1 1/2 years, and believe me it wasn't easy. The first couple of months were really hard, however we started to argue, a lot more than we ever did when we were together.
    I think this brought to the surface all the things I genuinely hated about her, and it made it a lot easier to get on with my life.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i went throught the same thing the whole not eating, but he just kept calling, try to cut of all contact once your head is sorted you can work on the friendship again, just take time away from her and do things to ocuppy your mind, don't worry time does heal. talk to one of your friends and remember it might sound bad and cheesy but it is ok to cry, i find that helps (but then i am a girl) but never the less it helps, writing a letter but never posting it or just writing it all down helps too.
    hope i helped, get better soon sweetie, hugs and kisses

    love sex_kitten76
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for the kind words, I´ll snap out of it eventually.
    John
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