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Grrraaarrrrgggg!!!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I split up with my boyfriend, because he's been seeing some other lass behing my back for the past month. Which just plain hurts - the fact he was always going on about me, thinking I was with another guy and he was the one off with someone else!:mad:

I'm hurt - and I loved him, but all feelings for him have just gone, they've turned to hate - I'm not a hateful person at all - I hate arguments, and if someone lets me down, i'll get angry but i'll not hold it against them for long.

But now - perhaps it's the fact he refuses to give me my property, or that he's now calling me a skanky whore, and ugly bitch (:crying: ). I don't mind if he now thinks im ugly or whatever (I don't think so, so why should it bother me, what a worthless worm like that thinks?).

And then theres his new bird who's attempting to insult me when she's never met me in my life - and it just screams pathetic, but it's just so annoying that it's fueling my hate - now i've stopped as much contact as possible, however his work place is right next to my university, so im bound to bump into him sooner or later - and I don't want to argue in the street, so i'll walk away and ignore him like he deserves.

Is it wrong for everything you felt for someone to just turn to utmost hate?
I don't like feeling like this, and he made a big commupence about not wanting me to hate him, and then sends emails insulting me, saying im worthlss and pathetic, and that to watch my car, and threatening me if I go near where he works - I can't possibly like someone after that.

I don't really know why i've written this, probably because I needed a place to rant, and some opinions on me hating someone.
I just can't get my head around why someone would cheat (not judging anyone by the way so don't think I am) - why not speak to someone instead of shutting them out?

*Sigh.*

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i found out my ex had been shagging some school girl since christmas (i found out in august). In all the 3 yrs of us being together we broke up once (while he was at it with her) coz he said i didn't trust him enough!

    I was so angry at him that i told everyone what had happened after he begged me not too. We were working together and the other girl worked there after school too so it was so awkward 4 him (his mum worked there too!)

    I hated him so much, and like you i'm not that type of person so didn't know what to do. I think the hate comes from not realising what was going on and from being treated like a piece of dirt.

    No real advice for you i'm afraid, i was lucky, his best mate (soon his exbest mate after all this came out) dragged me out when i wanted to sit in crying etc, and after a while we got together.

    Now we're expecting a baby together and i can see what real love is. My ex is furious that my life went on without him, i think deep down he knows things with the other girl won't last (he's 32 and shes 17!)

    Anyway, keep your head down, try not to confront him coz i found that my ex just kept coming out with hurtful stuff to spit me (told me he'd 'broken us both in!'etc, and things get easier.

    Sorry u've been treated so shitty
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Silviena

    Is it wrong for everything you felt for someone to just turn to utmost hate?
    No, definately not in this case, this guy has been a complete dick, you're right to hate him. I know what you mean I don't like getting in arguments either, and I can't hold a grudge for long, but this guy is pathetic. Him and that girl deserve each other. Forget about him(But get your stuff back) and just think that he's a coward if he couldn't tell you what was happening when it started.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't blame you for hating him. It's bad enough that he was cheating and lying to you, but to turn around and try to make out it is somehow your fault is just his pathetic way of putting his guilt and blame on to you becuase he wants to feel it isn't his fault. You're soooo better off without him in your life.
    It also sounds like he's got some sort of problem with letting go completely, and feels the need to try and have control over you in some way - ie threatening you if you go near his work place, telling you to watch your car, holding on to your stuff, etc. And the put downs are another attempt at control by trying to make you feel miserable (trying to control your emotions).
    Sounds like he's a bit twisted, and perhaps bitter that you've found happiness. Maybe things aren't 100% in his current relationship, so he's lashing out, and taking it out, on whoever he can, ie you. Don't knock the age gap thing in his relationship too much though, it's just harder for things to work out in the long run with a noticable age gap.
    Keep the emails he sends, etc, just in case things get bad and you need them.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by rachie004
    I resent that part of the story.. but the rest of it is so cool

    Good luck :)

    I've got no problem with big age gaps either, sorry didn't make my point very well. He acts 32+ and she acts 17-, the only thing they have in common is his dick! I've overheard her telling people stuff like that. But you never know, that might be enough to keep them together forever! Either way i couldn't careless! hehe
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by hotphoenix
    No real advice for you i'm afraid, i was lucky, his best mate (soon his exbest mate after all this came out) dragged me out when i wanted to sit in crying etc, and after a while we got together.

    I've never understood why so many blokes get with their mates ex's? What the fuck is up with that?

    Girls have you ever had your mates go after your ex's?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Sir Cum
    I've never understood why so many blokes get with their mates ex's? What the fuck is up with that?

    Girls have you ever had your mates go after your ex's?

    Whats wrong wiv it? I didn't cheat on my exbf wiv his mate, we both got treated like shit by my ex and the situation pushed us closer together. We're both happy and have a good future together. I can't see an issue in the fact that he WAS my ex's mate. If they had still been mates when we broke up, and things had ended in a better way, then things would have been different
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you for the replies! They're appreciated.

    Mr_Wobble said:
    It's bad enough that he was cheating and lying to you, but to turn around and try to make out it is somehow your fault is just his pathetic way of putting his guilt and blame on to you becuase he wants to feel it isn't his fault.
    Thats what i'd started to think as well - and I realised that, thats how he has always been only I didn't see it at the time - everything was always my fault - him not calling me when he was supposed to, not telling me if he'd be late etc - and getting annoyed at me when I was annoyed about it. So it's only obvious he'd carry on with it now I suppose.

    I'm not going to worry about it though - I know differently, and I think my confidence in myself also annoys him, as he has low confidence levels so perhaps he's trying to knock mine? I don't know.

    I've kept all emails of threats from both him and his new girlfriend incase anything does happen to my property, or me for that matter.

    Silverberg said:
    Him and that girl deserve each other. Forget about him(But get your stuff back) and just think that he's a coward if he couldn't tell you what was happening when it started.
    I already do think he's a coward after this - and i'll be getting my stuff from him next week, though he doesn't know it yet, which means i'll have to see him, and I doubt he;ll start anything, because my friend (his boss) will be there as well, as he's agreed and it was his idea.

    Thats a nice story hotphoenix.

    My friends have all been wonderful, and all of his friends have expressed their not so nicely worded opinions of him after the way he's treated me, and most of them want nothing more to do with him - so it looks like he'll just be stuck with his new girl and her kid, friendless.

    Sir Cum:
    Girls have you ever had your mates go after your ex's?
    Nope, never - and i'd be particulary annoyed if it was a recent break-up however if it had been a while it wouldn't bother me. Unless they went after this one, and then i'd tell them they were an idiot.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by hotphoenix


    Now we're expecting a baby together and i can see what real love is.

    Sorry just had to say this-Congrats :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by rachie004
    omg :lol:

    I guess I'm biased because I'm in a age gappy relationship.. I get a bit stressy with what other people might think sometimes, but my mates have never met my bloke and he so doesn't act his age.... and at the end of the day it doesn't have much to do with any of my mates

    I love your story though.. I wish you all the luck... and you'll have to keep me posted :)

    thanx
    When i was with him i never had a problem with the age gap, it was his attitiude to everything that was the problem. I guess i settle for it all coz i thought i couldn't do better. Theres 5 yrs exactly between me and my bf now and its no issue at all.

    I heard last nite on the grapevine that my ex told some girl he loves her, only he's still with the 17yr old! His life is so messed up!
    i see a repeat of what happened with me coming, only as mean as i feel, i'm kinda smiling on the inside coz the 17yr old was so god damn smug about everything that i'd like to see her on the receiving end. might teach her that other peoples fellas are a no go area!
    hehe. Oh i do love a good gossip! Sorry just had to share that wiv you!!:D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by *TiNK*
    Sorry just had to say this-Congrats :D

    hehe, thanx very much!!:D :D
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