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Wanting what you can never have........

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
OK so im a gay 16 year old, its been really quite hard for me at the moment because everyone around me is in love and obviously i want that, it looks so amazing......

Anyway, ive fancied this boy for over a year now, well you could say im totally infatuated by him, to me he seems so perfect and hes really nice to me.

my question is how do i get him out of my system? i mean, hes a gud friend and i dont want to loose his friendship, but im always feelin like i want him close to me, but when he's around it just fucks me up soooo much because i know i can never have him.

What should i do? ive tryed distancing him from myself but its so hard, i just think about him 24/7 and its making me so depressed, ive started smoking more and drinking more when i would normally drink.

please help!!!!
loads of love
S.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    just dont know what to suggest, stupid. there's been a few posts on here about situations like this in past, with plenty of good advice. cant be arsed to go find 'em, but they're around somewhere. i'm shit at giving advice on stuff like this, so i'll shut up now. good luck whatever you do.

    Nolite te bastardes carborundorum
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Getting the seemingly perfect man out of your system. Hmmmm, that sounds familiar. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt;

    Anyway, i'm sorry to say it, but there really isn't anything you can do but try and forget about him.

    Have you told him how you feel? If so it's gonna be a whole lot harder to forget about him. I know. I'm still not completly comfortable talking to him and it was well over a year ago.

    If you've not told him, you've no reason to feel nervous around him. If you start to act weird when he's near then he's gonna start wondering what's going on, or just stop talking to you cos you've gone weird. Alright, the last bit probably won't happen i just made that up.

    I don't think distancing yourself from him is a good idea. If your are close friends won't he notice that you're not spending as much time together than you would normally? It's a tricky situation but you have to try and get over him while still spending the usual ammount of time together.

    When I told Ollie how i felt about him I really thought he felt the same and I just made a complete arse out of myself. But afterwards I just avoided him for about 3 months. Big mistake. I missed him being there so when I eventually saw him everything just came flooding back. I felt awkward in his presence and didn't know what to talk to him about. But i'm pretty much over him anyway.

    Drinking. This is not the way out of anything. And sorry to sound all parent-y on you but you shouldn't really be drinking heavily at 16 anyway.

    It's not gonna be easy to forget him but it will happen, it just takes time.

    Hope this helps you.

    Chris

    I was made for a better world.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    first of all ur cool for being able to admit ur gay, <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
    and second to help find someone else who is gay and that u like/love, and u will find ur craving goes away because u've got it...

    Mr. X has been here! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.data-techniques.net/cwm/cwm/alien/beammeup.gif"&gt;
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dont know if you know but the first few post that i made on here wer about a girl that i liked and couldnt have, exactly the same as you, we wer good friends etc i didnt want to spoil that, but im (almost) over her now, its take over 13 months tho <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt;

    A few pointers.

    Distance - Keeping close to him aint gonna help any, it will just remind you of what you like about him, an u will end up liking him more, but dont be to obvious with the keeping away thing, or else you will destroy the friendship, try an achieve summit in between.

    Dont start drinking too much, thats exactly what i did an my grades at college started to slip, i fell out wi ma family, i pissed my friends off all the time, an all thw while the girl i liked was oblivious and one day i woke up and thought "whats the point" and until you reach that point then i doubt you will stop liking him.

    im not totally over this girl, but then again if she asked me out i would say no.

    i know it totally screws you head up, but it will get better, with time, which is pretty shitty i know but that just meens its not pretend anymore.

    Im ok now, as you will be, ive me two girls who i like now, there both amazing, i doubt either of them like me cause my self confidence is that low, but i wold do anything to get either of them, an ive realised that they are both a million times better than the "perfct girl" i liked before.

    [This message has been edited by :niceguy: (edited 06-09-2001).]
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by :niceguy::
    Distance - Keeping close to him aint gonna help any, it will just remind you of what you like about him, an u will end up liking him more,

    Have you never heard, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" ?

    I was made for a better world.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes, but "out of sight is out of mind" too.

    Ah, contradictory sayings, doncha just love 'em?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by stupid:
    Anyway, ive fancied this boy for over a year now, well you could say im totally infatuated by him, to me he seems so perfect and hes really nice to me.


    Is he gay as well??

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; Hey there,
    Firstly, is the guy gay too? Coz if he is, I would say - what do you have to lose by telling him how you feel? If it seems like the right thing to do, do it!
    If he is not gay, I would try and keep your feelings to yourself. He cant help that he's straight and you cant help that your gay - it wouldnt work anyway.
    Also, at your age, hormones are all over the shop, and someone who you fancy the pants off know, could make you wanna barf in 6 months time. People always change their minds at this age.
    I would recommend trying to seek out other gay guys to chat too, either on the internet, or if you know anyone gay - chat to them.
    the last thing to do is to cut up over this guy - just concentrate on being good friends, and try not to ruin what you already have with him.
    I'm always here to listen if you wanna chat. xxx
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