Home Drink & Drugs
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨

Parents:@

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hmm i never know how to start these thread things..so.. i smoke socially and smoke weed occasionally. My parents know none of this, yet i want to be honest with them, coz i dont feel should have to lie about it. I know all the risks from smoking and sometimes go a month or so without so i dont get addicted, with weed i only do it every few months. i tried to approach the subject of drugs and talking about friends use to their reaction, and they wouldnt even listen to what i had to say. They both smoked when they were younger for long periods of time, and my mum tried weed, yet neither of them will admit/appreciate that i need to make my own choices. is there any way i could get them to just listen, and maybe then i could be more honest, coz it would make my life a lot easier.
Thanks, Kirsty xx

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi,

    I'm in a similar position to you. I smoke weed occasionally and would like to be honest with my parents, however they are anti-drug, so im at a loss as to how to approach the matter or anything. Any advice would be appreciated...

    Oksirue
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Im a bit drunk but there are 2 ways of thinking about this one

    1) Be open with them, so that they wont discover it and be really upset. But my mum was semi ok with it. But she dosent know about the other drugs i sometime use

    2) "What you dont know, cant hurt you" This is the method I prefer, but it will go wrong one day.

    It really depends how well you get on with your parents, and what they are like. Remember no parent really wants their child to do drugs, they may freak out and blaim everything on your new found drug "addiction". They probably know very little about drugs other than what they hear/read in the media.

    Bopz
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok im speaking as a Mum and I also have never used drugs so maybe I fit the criteria your talking about.

    Id hope that my Daughter would come and talk to me and tell me herself, there is nothing worse than finding out something like this from another person.
    My Daughter is only 8 but even now I say to her if theres a problem with anything tell me or like if I know she has been into trouble at school I say tell me because yes I might be a little bit angry but by god if I get called to school and you havent told me what happened then im gonna be even more angry. Yes I know she's younger and im talking about little incidents at school but she is growing up knowing that she can tell me stuff and maybe I might be annoyed but we will talk about it.

    Id make sure your informed about drugs and you know what your talking about because if you show them your aware of stuff and know the effects of drugs then they will take more notice of you. If you just blurt out "oh mum im on drugs but aint got a clue about them" then thats when they will probably have a go at you.

    Id personally play it this way:
    If one of your parents is understanding but the other one isnt then id talk to the understanding parent. Just say you wanna have a chat and they may not like what you have to say but ask them to listen to you and what you have to say. They probably will be a bit annoyed when you tell them but if you can talk the understanding one round your half way there. Then let them tell the other parent and you keep outta the way while they talk :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd say that before you try and have a conversation about it, find out everything, and i mean everything about cannabis. Hopefully that will show then that you at least know about what you're doing and will in turn educate them about it at the same time.

    Thats sort of what i done, and at first of course they weren't happy about it, but when they came to realise the facts about it, they unlearned all of the bullshit that they thought they knew.

    I never told my parents about it, it was my sister. But now, in a way, i'm glad they know, becuase it means not having to lie to my parents about something really trivial, and they even let me smoke in the house!

    Good luck :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Bopperz
    Im a bit drunk but there are 2 ways of thinking about this one

    1) Be open with them, so that they wont discover it and be really upset. But my mum was semi ok with it. But she dosent know about the other drugs i sometime use

    2) "What you dont know, cant hurt you" This is the method I prefer, but it will go wrong one day.

    It really depends how well you get on with your parents, and what they are like. Remember no parent really wants their child to do drugs, they may freak out and blaim everything on your new found drug "addiction". They probably know very little about drugs other than what they hear/read in the media.

    Bopz
    every decision works out best with a foundation to hold it up ...here is a good foundation.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My dad found some in my room once and said;

    "Your mum said she'd leave home if she ever found any of you doing that, do you want to split up the family?"

    So, I kind of keep it to myself, my brothers and sisters know I smoke though.

    It depends totaly on what sort of relationship you have with your parents I suppose.
  • JadedJaded Posts: 2,682 Boards Guru
    Originally posted by morrocan roll
    every decision works out best with a foundation to hold it up ...here is a good foundation.

    Are you being sarky Mr Roll? :confused:

    I think what Becky and Rise and Shine said is quite sound, Girl_gunner. I guess there are two issues here that your parents may be concerned about.

    The first is the illegality of taking drugs, and that is just a fact and there is nothing you can do to make your parents feel better about you breaking the law. It is a risk that you are prepared to take, but they may understandably not be happy about it.

    Second thing is the health risk associated with smoking (both kinds). This is where the education element comes in, show your parents that even though you are doing something that is potentially harmful, it is an informed choice.

    Give them some information, even show them theSite, and expect them to be concerned and a bit unhappy about it.

    You know your parents and probably have a fair idea of how they might react - if you feel like you want to tell them it is probably the right thing for you to do, but that has to be your decision. I feel its better to make a conscious decision than to have them find out some other way or confront you with it.

    Good luck!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by LadyJade
    Are you being sarky Mr Roll? :confused:

    no not at all ...it all made sense last night ...well to me anyway.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for all your replies, i just had my parents evening which went spectacularly badly so am gonna leave it for a while, but will let you know my plan of action when i plan to do it :)
    xxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't!!!

    When my mam and dad found out i got shot out of the house and basically disowned:(

    Great stuff eh
  • JadedJaded Posts: 2,682 Boards Guru
    Keep us informed Girl_gunner, trust your instincts and be honest with yourself, and I'm sure you will do what you think is right. Leaving it for the right moment is a very wise decision. Just don't decide you will tell them and not do it because it never seems like the right time!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If ya dont mind me askin

    Why did parents eviening (sp sorry) go so badly? It could mean nothing, as my parent thingys were REALLY bad and i did ok, im at uni, so i landed on my feet some how.

    Remember its not what they say, its how well you do. If you think you can do it, it shudn't matter what they say, you will be able to do it.

    Bopz
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My parents evenings were always fairly shite too, "he's not working hard enough...Bla Bla"

    If you are going to break something like this to them though it might be best to wait a little while. And dont push it, unless your parents are very understanding dont expect them to like it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im trying my hardest at school yet am failing 2 subjects :mad: and i honestly had no idea about 1 of them and little about the other. my parents arent exactly impressed.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Sharkky
    Don't!!!

    When my mam and dad found out i got shot out of the house and basically disowned:(

    Great stuff eh
    worth thinking about this one ...my old man was a bastard ...you have to play within their boundaries ...you know where their boundaries lay. work out how far your becoming a young adult can safely push those boundaries.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im trying my hardest at school yet am failing 2 subjects

    Define failing? Are you doing "below potential" work etc or are you proper failing as in 2/100 marks in exams stylee?

    Bopz
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    as in one subject current/predicted grade = U/U
    the other is U/D
Sign In or Register to comment.