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Plz help me....

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
i have been with my boyfrined for nearly 5 months and we nearly slipt u becase he thought i had a drinking problem but we sorted through it and everything seemed to be going ok, then he dropped the bombshell that he was having doubts about us because i smoke occasionally, he says he hates to see people he cares about getting hurt. he says he loves me but he doesn't want to see me getting hurt. i only smoke at parties and stuff like that. what should i do, i love him and i want to be with him, but should i change the person i m for him? please help

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    U shouldnt have to change for anyone but yourself. As for your boyfriend, it sounds like he is just using that as an excuse. I suggest u talk to him about your relationship and find out why he is acting like this. I really doubt its to do with u smoking occasionaly.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would suggest that you quit smoking since it's good for your health and he'll be happy. Good for both parties, and no lost there. One thing though, he seems to have made it such a big deal...are you sure there's nothing else going wrong between you two other than smoking?

    But I'm not a smoker myself, and don't know what it's like to quit, so it's probably easier said than done. But since you only smoke during parties and stuff, it shouldn't be hard for you to quit.

    If, however, you decide that you want to continue smoking, then I think your bf should repect your decision since you're old enough (don't know how old you are though) to make your own choices in life...

    Chatbox

    [ 12-04-2002: Message edited by: Chatbox ]
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i know why he is like this, his mum was an alcoholic and he had loads of problems with her. he tried to help her through and it took alot,and he has told me that he doesn't want to se me hurt. i understand what he is saying and i have quit (or am trying to) it isn't that hard, but should i be doing it to keep him?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well you shouldn't have to change for him he went out with you fully knowing you smoked he has to right to make you want to change and say he dont wanna hurt you but he would if he leaves you
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i totally agree with that but he says he doesn't want it to come to him finishing with me, he says that he loves me and he just wants to help me. has anybody else been in the same situation before?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by sex_kitten76:
    <STRONG>i know why he is like this, his mum was an alcoholic and he had loads of problems with her. </STRONG>

    he is obviously just watching out for you beacuse he has been through so many problems with his mother - you should be flattered that someone cares for you enough to worry about how much you drink and smoke.
    No you shouldn't change who you are for a guy but smoking and drinking shouldn't be who you are... so would it really be changing yourself?

    [ 12-04-2002: Message edited by: rainingbows ]
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    no it wouldn't, i am flattered cause before now i never realised how much he really did care for me, cause i have had a few bad relationships with lads that have said they cared for me and i believed them and then they didn't so we chatted long and hard and i am quitting, thanx for all your advice <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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