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Temptation has fucked me up.I don't know myself anymore.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hello guys I really need your help.Firstly,I probably don't deserve it but I need to turn to someone.
Do any of youse remember the time I posted to you about how temptation has fucked me up and I have cheated on my boyfriend?Well,to continue that-I really don't feel like I have done it.It all feels like a dream and therefore I don't feel guilty or bad at all.Whilst I was with the other guy it felt like I was with my boyfriend but then afterwards I would look at him and literally forget that something had happened between us 10minutes ago.
Ireally really really want to feel something but I dont.I don't have any feelings towards that guy apart from the odd thinking of 'he's nice'.The feelings mutual.
My boyfriend-I do really love him(don't ask why I do what I do)Thats another thing I want to understand.I really don't understand myself.When I am with him its just normal.I look at him and I don't feel I have cheated.But I am determined not to let him find out ever.That guy doesnt compare to him.

So any psychologists.Define all this.
I will understand if you are going to be judgemental but I also need a non-judgemental advice.Thank you.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Im sorry but i have to have at least a small judgemental bit so here it is:

    What the hell are you doing cheating on your boyfiend, who you claim you "love" with someone who doesnt mean anything to you??? its like you dont even respect your current bf enuf to cheat with someone you think its worthwhile screwin all you have up over. If you have no feelings for this guy then why carry on?? i just dont see the point. I dont think you feel you have cheated cause you dont really care for either of them.

    Now teh non-judgemental bit:

    You need to stop this now. Seriously, or you will go mental

    Your tearing yourself up over the fact your wrecking your life ova someone who you dont care about. If you stopped then you would have this problem.

    You need to take a serious look at ur current relationship wi ur bf. if you love him so much why dont you feel guilty? i think you really need to analyse your self and get your head sorted.

    sorry if i was cruel at the start but your situation insenses me so much. The fact i know how hurt your boyfriend will be if he ever finds out, and all over someone you dont even care about it. that will make it so much worse, it wil hurt him to his very core, and then some more. It will rip out his heart and you will be able to see the pain in his eyes.

    Is it all worth it? if your answer is yes then you dont need help, you dont need anything, nor do you deserve anything
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    First off, I would like to reassure you a little - I have done exactly the same thing and exactly the same thoughts keep buzzing around my head!
    I've been with my guy 4 10 months and I slept with someone he knew very well, he found out of course, but still stayed with me. He says he trusts me now - but what's to say I wont do it again? I mean, they say once a cheater, always a cheater?
    And I didn't ''feel'' like I had cheated either, coz I love my boyf tonnes, but it just kinda happened.
    So, basically, what I'm trying to say is that, yeah it happened and it really shouldn't of, but if this guy is really special, try to focus on the good things in your relationship and work hard at making them special. I'm sure if u try and tell him the truth, things will get even shitter and u will end up wishing u never told him.
    If you're not happy anyway, finish it with him gently and enjoy being single for a while before starting something you are not 100% sure of.
    Hope I was of some help!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

    Hiya <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;
    It feels like hell doesnt it! Just knowing what you've done! I know how your feeling! I tried not to let my boyf find out, i mean he was 300miles away BUT when he told me he loved me, i felt so guilty that i told him! He flipped went into a silent phase but we worked it! Im not saying if your boyf find out he'll not flip but still, just be careful yeah!
    Love Miss_Kxxxxx

    Friends are like stars!****** you cant always see them but you know there always there!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i know what you mean when you say that it doesnt feel like you are cheating on your boyfriend. ive been with my man for 2 years and 4 months ago i went to a party and ended up with a guy who is much older than me and we are still seeing eachother when we can .i know in my head what we are doing is wrong but i cant stop seeing him and i know my boyfriend is going to find out soon but i cant make up my mind. what you have got to decide is your boyfriend the guy you want to be with in 10 years time .if not then let him go before he gets hurt
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know how this is. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 4 months. When we'd been going out for about 2 weeks I went away on holiday and had a holiday romance who I ended up sleeping with. I didn't feel like I was cheating at the time cos it wasn't like a proper relationship, but now I think I love him and it's so hard to deal with that memory. I did tell him I'd had a holiday romance and I could just see how hurt he was, it tore me up inside. He just asked me not to talk about it, so I couldn't go into detail. I've just had to deal with it myself, and even now, 3 months later, I still have this big horrible weight of guilt in my stomach all the time. But I realised that the only reason I'd want to go back and tell him everything is to make myself feel better. And that's just selfish, cos it would rip him to pieces. So the guilt I'm feeling is MY punishment, and it's ME who has to deal with it, not him. Just be happy with the relationship you've got.

    Love 'n' snuggles,

    Magenta
    xxx
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