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alittle help if u can?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

wondering if any 1 could give me their input on this

i met a girl the day the Queen mother died, was in a pub and she pulled me, i was well happy 2 say the least

she being very pretty and 21,(i am 18). So any way as the night went on, we got chatting more and she said she got a bf but really likes me

so i thought okay this is not a great start but we can work around it, then she tell me he sometimes hits her, so now i'm a little worried 4 her(and myself).she also show me his handy work

so at the end of the night i am pissed and she is 2, we give eachother Numbers, and i thought that be the end of it, but no it was not, she said she really keen on me and now i am on her 2, BUT she still willn't leave her bf

i can't get her out of my mind and i hate it, she really got 2 me. And now i need a way 2 get her OR get her out of my mind

if any 1 could help me i be most Grateful

i also got 2 met her in a pub 2 night, her bf wont be there, so no glass in my face(I HOPE)

anybody get any ideas 4 me?



  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i had a similiar problem with an ex. After I had our baby he got very violent whenever I tried to talk to him about Jazmyn (our child) and whether he was going to get his act together. We were not together when i had her and never will be again, but i suggest if she's with him and he's being violent she needs to get out. although i know its difficult. in the mean time, if she likes you enough to thinkk theres someothing there, she'd leave him for you, but she might really love him, in that case you need to let her love him. she is not free right now and if he found out what had been going on, she might get even more problems from him. maybe give her, yor yourself an ultimatum?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Stop associating yourself with her. It already is clear she's using you. Think about it: she's tells you, a stranger, her boyfriend hits her and then shows you the bruises. This should send red flags in your direction. #1 she has a boyfriend, yet is leading you on by exchanging numbers; #2 she puts all her problems on you by stating she is being abused. This girl is selfish, probably realizes you're naive, and therefore is hoping somehow you'll rescue her. She's not leaving her boyfriend for her own stupid reasons, so I think it would be in your best interest to leave her. Three's a crowd, and it's not your job to save this girl.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree with Pretty Hate Machine on this one, be very very wary of strangers who give you their life story and problems on the first night you meet them, its usually a bad sign.

    If you do decide to "rescue" her, I wouldn't be too scared of this "man" who hits her.. He probably hits women because he's too much of a cowardly bully to hit men, I'd just go around with a bat, kick his door in and put in hospital mate, be assertive! lol (this could be the worst advice ive given)

    Anyway, make the choice YOU think is right <IMG SRC="wink.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

    Be cool,
    Phil <IMG SRC="cool.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey maybe you are right and she is using you but I think this girl needs help. But speak to her about it and if she is willing to leave her boyfriend for you and you are both keen you should give it a go.............. But maybe I'm too naive too!! <IMG SRC="rolleyes.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No offence but dont lumped with dis girls problems be smart b4 her boyf finds out and lumps u!!if she likes u enough she will go 2 the police!She mayb scared of her boyf screwing if she goes to the police but he will have an injuction taken out against him and it will breach his bail conditions when charged if he doesnt comply!so have a go at talking her round to seeing them if not mate theres plenty more fish in da sea!! <img src="null" alt="image">
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would say that she's probably using you...I mean, who will actually tell you their problems in life within a matter of hours? I know I wouldn't, not unless I know that person well.

    My suggestion is that you keep a certain distance between you two, don't get too attach in anyway. But she needs help, and maybe you can help her, or guide her in some other directions of help. It would be wrong if you walk away from her, because she's a person who needs help, but just keep in mind, don't get too attach, or it might really hurts you.

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    okay thanks 4 ur replys

    here my new thing, i had sex with her last night at a pub car park in a car

    i hate my self 4 doing it and it only happened cos i was pissed(i had been drinking from half 6)

    so now i left feeling a bit funny, not sure where i stand.... the sex it self was err...? well i didn't know we did it cos i was pissed and only found out 2 day, but having sex in a car with a girl i have only met 3 times and txt every day, was not how i wanted 2 start dating her. its a mess

    i want 2 see her again, but with her having a bf and stuff makes it hard....and i not going 2 be her "bit on the side" <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

    i think i know i will have 2 stop txt and seeing her, but its hard cos she always on my mind.

    i am going 2 txt this girl now and see where i stand, i know she only going 2 give me the "run 'n' round" ...

    if any 1 got any ideas how i can get this girl out of my mind i'll be well happy

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hrmmm bad situation - god damn alochol! lol.

    you can't get her out of your mind now, you will always have the feeling in the back of your mind of where she is and what happened to her.
    i think first of all you need to help her split from her boyfriend...but do this as a friend NOT a lover.

    second of all - if she doesnt won't split with him..don't get involved, you tried - but if you stay you will end up hurting her and yourself

    what did she say when you txted her?
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