Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options

Davie with problems

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've been meaning to post this in here for a while now, but every time I've came to do it I've had trouble.

But here goes.

In year 10 at school I came out and told my friends I was gay, they were all fine with it.
I ruled out girls.
But when I started college, I realised I was wrong to rule out girls. I met a girl, and things progressed and we started going out in early December last year.

Things were fine up until we were at a party, all got a bit drunk on Gin and Tonic, and ended up with three in a bed: Me, my GF and a lad called Stu.
Me and Stu erm....got kinky. We wanked each other off. I felt like a total shit (deservingly) and next day told her what happenned. We didn't split up, but it kind of damaged the relationship a bit.

At this point I was going to post about it on here, and ask what I should do...but more happenned...

She went off to Germany on the German Exchange, where she was the only girl in the class to get a male exchange partner.
While she was there she had sex with him....and when I say sex I mean everything.
She told me everything when she got back, crying her eyes out.

And now in college, she's *really* close with a new lad. I thought it was just my paranoia at first but other people have pointed it out too.

So here's my situation:
--Slightly confused as to what sexuality I actually am.
--Cheated on my GF with another lad.
--She had sex with German exchange partner.
--Possible new interest for her?

Is there any point at all in trying to keep this relationship going? Baring in mind that before she went to Germany she said the problem with our relationship was that I didn't trust her...How can I trust her now!!?? <IMG SRC="confused.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
I know with most people this would have ended long ago.

Apart from the things stated we have no other problems, rarely argue (unless it's over politics <IMG SRC="tongue.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">) and it's great.

Lads put yourself in my shoes, what would you do. Girls put yourself in the shoes of my GF. Help please <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

Apologies for the long post.

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    wow! ok now that i have got through that post....hrmm it seems like you are very very confused * to state the obvious * , you and your girlfriend have both cheated on each other and you are confused about your sexuality AND now she might be interested in someone else...it seems that niether of you are at the right stage in your lives to have a partner - no matter how well you get along - you need to explore your sexuality before ruling out men or women or even if you are indeed bysexual, and your girlfriend needs to meet other ppl and decide if she wants to be in a monogamous ( i don't know if that is spelt right) relationship.
    what do you think?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by rainingbows:
    <STRONG>....it seems that niether of you are at the right stage in your lives to have a partner - no matter how well you get along
    </STRONG>

    Probably right...I've never had a serious relationship before. She's had some, but none as complicated as me *chuckle*.

    Originally posted by rainingbows:
    <STRONG> - you need to explore your sexuality before ruling out men or women or even if you are indeed bysexual, and your girlfriend needs to meet other ppl and decide if she wants to be in a monogamous ( i don't know if that is spelt right) relationship.
    what do you think?</STRONG>

    You're probably right, I'm not sure if I'm a relationship person.
    Don't know what was different about her, she was the first person I ever loved who actually loved me back (cue the violins, lol <IMG SRC="tongue.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">).
    After being totally used by every lad who ever showed any affection I think I was just looking for someone with a bit more than just sex on their mind. Guess I chose badly.

    I don't know if she's able to be monogomous, she gets bored easily...obviously <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe you bi-sexual, but i think its best at the moment not to be in a relationship male or female so you can figure out who you are for your self. Was tossing that lad off your only ale experience. It seems like you and this girl cant trust one another and she doesnt seem to keen on being monogamus, really i think you should both sit down for a long chat so you can both decide whats what.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by xx deeby doo xx:
    <STRONG>Was tossing that lad off your only male experience.</STRONG>

    No, had a few when I was younger. Didn't get very far with many though.
    Originally posted by xx deeby doo xx:
    <STRONG>It seems like you and this girl cant trust one another and she doesnt seem to keen on being monogamus, really i think you should both sit down for a long chat so you can both decide whats what.</STRONG>

    Agreed. I'll talk to her tomorrow.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    and how did it go? <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hmmm...this often happens. I've had feelings for guys in the past tho, nearly always a passing phase, but u can never be too sure and say explicitly " i would never go out with a guy, girl, whatever"

    i dont see the harm in exploring ur sexuality - as long as you dont do stuff with a girl and then tell her you cant go out with her any more cos ur gay, or vice versa...that's really cruel.
    soz if this is crap advice...
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think ur relationship with ur girlfriend won't last unless it is an open 1, cos of what has been going on between her and you and other guys, but if u think what u have 2gether is worth saving then it would be a shame not 2
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by xx deeby doo xx:
    <STRONG>and how did it go? <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"></STRONG>

    We're rocky, but okay...for now <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

    We discussed how we'd be with each other if we split up. We agreed we still be friends and stay close, etc.
    So now neither of us are afraid of braking up and it seems neither of us want to.

    This is really awful and cheesy and cliché but for the first time ever it applies to me and I'm going to say it......
    ....Time will tell <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
    (groan <IMG SRC="tongue.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lol good good
    as long as your both happy thats the main thing <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
    now i sound cheesy too <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
This discussion has been closed.