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When the Ex Finds a new interest....

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey everyone, I just wanted to let some stuff out so I logged on here, When I split up with my gf of a year about a month ago I was really down but recently Id been feeling a bit better about it but you know just still thinking about it a lot. But the thing is she didnt think she was ready for a relationship (fine time to decide a year in!) coz I was really into her, and apparently it wasnt me or anything but she wanted to be 'independent' and not be in a 'proper' relationship yet, but today Ive found out from her brother that shes got a new boyfriend and I know it shouldnt affect me but I just feel like I did straight after the break up all over again. I dunno if its just me or other people feel the same but it feels like even though relationships can be so good it is just really difficult sometimes when they end and Im just wondering when Im gonna just be able to go through a day without thinking about it especially since my love-life is pretty much non-existent right now...

Comments

  • Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Posts: 2,822 Boards Guru
    yeah its a bitch when that happens. when they say that they would never get together with someone so soon after breaking up with you... how you were the best thing that ever happened to them and how they'll miss you and how they still love you but agree its best to be apart... 2 weeks later theyve changed their mind on ALL of that. the breakup with my first bf (it was v long term considering it started when i was 16, 16 months it lasted) was long and drawn out, we drifted apaart over time and sorta broke up about 3 months before we did finally. and the actual break up took about a month, us both not wanting to be without each other, but knowing we were driving each other mad, and it hurting like hell. so after the breakup, it just was better. but when he got a new gf, it hurt jsut as much, if not more, than it did during the break up <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt;

    and i know its a cliche, but it does fade with time. i still think about it sometimes.. makes me kinda sad but i know i dont want him back. and we broke up last december!! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif"&gt; you just need to put it all down to experience, learn from it, and move on. its something you have to come to terms with yourself... talking to people sometimes helps.. but its a gradual process, it WILL get better, you WILL find someone else one day. so hang in there <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey hun, i'm soz this is happening 2 u, it sucks i know. I wasn't wit my ex 4 as long as u (5 months) but summat similar happened 2 me wit him.

    I woz the one that ended it in the end, but it had been goin downhill 4 about a month & like GFM it woz just a case of neither of us wanting 2 end it even though we were making each other miserable.

    Ne way, when i said it wasn't working blah blah blah he said 2 me that he didn't want ne sort of relationship @ the mo etc & he woz glad i didn't wanna be in the relationship wit him ne more (or sum shit like that ne way.)

    Well this woz a couple of days b4 xmas last yr & he woz spending xmas wit his Dad who lives near Southampton so i didn't c him but he foned me a few times, when he came back though i found out he'd been seeing this girl since the day he got back which woz 3 days since we split up!!!! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/eek.gif"&gt;

    I woz so annoyed, i mean he'd said 2 me he didn't want relationship wit ne1 & then 3 days later he's goin out wit sum girl!!

    At the time i still had feelings 4 him, i don't know why but i did so it hurt even more.

    A month later, i met my current bf though, i've been wit him 7 months now & he's made me realise wot a twat my ex is/was.

    My very long, drawn out point (sorry i babble 2 much!) is that it may take time, but u will get over it & find sum1 else ur self. I know ppl have probably told u that b4 coz every1 said that 2 me when me & my ex split up but i didn't believe them & now look @ me.

    Hope i've been of sum sort of help!! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It does make sense what both of you said, Its just the worse feeling but I know it will pass, its just things like this seem to make it go on for longer. It was worse as she was my longest relationship and I did feel for her and didnt see the end coming really coz we were arguing a bit and that but I presumed it was just a bad patch but then it ended and I was just gutted. I really hate the feelings after though how you can be fine for ages and yuou think you're nearly over it and then suddenly something seems to trigger it off and you start feeling really bad about it again, if only they were easy to turn on and off. I know I'll have more relationships, I am only 18 so i hope so! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; but sometimes its hard to see where the next one is going to come from...thanx for the advice though, its good to know how other people do know how you're feeling and seeing how happy they are given time and new people.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ex's huh?! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/rolleyes.gif"&gt;

    I was gonna make a post about a similar sort of thing- it seems everyone's been in this position at some point in their lives!

    When i split with my ex, it was me who stoped loving him, and i said i didnt want another relationship. That was a couple of months ago, and ive been single (happily) ever since.

    My ex, however (he must have been sooo upset) got with someone else the day we split up, which i thought was a bit soon (we'd been together 8 months).

    I wasn't really bothered though, and now we lead totally seperate lives, though we're still (vaguely) friends.

    He's had a string of pretty short relationships, and the other day, i found other he'd slept with one of the girls after they'd been together 2 weeks.

    Im not really bothered or upset about it, just finding it hard to get my head round the idea!! We'd been together ages (for me anyway!) and we didnt sleep together at all. That was mainly my choice, but...i dunno, it just feels strange!

    Oh well! Anyway, im trying to say that everyone goes through this to some degree, and, like the others said, the pain will[/B} fade and you'll be fine again.

    Meanwhile, just go out with your mates and try to enjoy being single- you've got all your life to get settled down!!

    S&S xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lifes a bitch isn't it.I don't mean to sound harsh,but you've got to realize there was a reason or problem in your relationship that made her split up with you.she just might not be ready to have a serious relationship-the guy she's with now probally thinks hes the one now,BUT HE WON'T BE.i split up with a lad about 14 months ago who i was seeing for 5 months,and he really broke my heart.i still think about him everyday, and i was hurting for a long time over him,but one day you'll wake up and you won't think of how much they hurt you, or how upset you are, you'll just think of them as part of your past,as someone who was once in you're life. i know its hard, but time will heel.
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