the one i love........to hate!!

Former Member

I was fresh from my summer holidays all geared up and ready to get on with two years of hard studying, when i layed my eyes upon an attractive young girl whom I thought I would like to get to know. i saw the friends i met the year before at the same college and asked about this young girl, where she came from whats her name etc. I plucked up the boyish courage to talk to her when the oppertunity arose and so we did and I grew to like her more and more, I thought as my relationships were short lived and a mess that this was the one that was going to make me happy and i saw a future for us.

Well here I am nearly five months gone of the relationship and we practically live together, she doesn't let me go see my friends without a fuss or an argument, she says shes not ready 2meet my friends in case she says something wrong but she gets the hump if i don't invite her out with them. She worships the ground I walk upon and she cares for me as I have always wished to be cared for, she does all the things right but in the wrong way (if you get what I mean?) she cramps me at all the wrong times and doesn't show enough loving at all the right times. I show signs that i would like a little time to myself but she comes on to me even stronger and it shows she doesn't listen to me, its pointless talking any sense of advice to her because the next day she will be just the same. she makes such effort of the simplest of things, and askes more questions than a police woman. plus shes even worse than a copper because she askes teh same questions over and over again. she works her way through all my personal belongings and when i stress about it she ignores me and laughs carrying on with what she was doing, she loves me for sure but i can't say teh feelings mutual. she tells me so allot and so does her mum but she hasn't got a clue. i try my best to point her in the right direction but she chooses not to listen. shes practically driving me away.

one thing more, i can't say everything about me is perfect in the relstionship but i feel i try my best to mend things to make them better once more.

what do I do?

Exictus Acta Probat
teh outcome justifys the deed

Former Member

That was kind of confusing to read do you mind if I ask is English your first language? Nevermind - that's not important.

So she's possesive? Well you need to talk to her reasonably - don't argue. Tell her your points, and what you want things to be like - then let her give her opinion. Then you can come to an agreement which you both are happy with.

But then you go on to say that you're not sure if you love her. Well - if it's a one-sided relationship you can't continue it; it's simply not fair.

in a previous thread you said:

i find myself ready for a relationship but when it comes to it i end up not being intrested any more.

so do you think this could be the case in this relationship? If so, you need to sort out whatever commitment, or other issues you have before going into a serious relationshio - as one or both parties are likely to end up getting hurt.

Talk to this girl if you want a relationship - you're not happy so things have to change. I don't mean order her about; compromise. If you can't then you just have to go your seperate ways.

Rich

Former Member

yeh i agree with shy boy, but no matter how much you like this girl, you obviously can't be happy with her, so if i was you i would end it because its not fair on her if you are having second thoughts.

Former Member

if you feel that u could grow to love her, then like shy boy said, talk to her, explain how you feel and that, you NEED to be going out with your friends because that is all part of the 'learning experience'! and conversly, she needs to be going out with her friends,
For a 5 mth relationship, you shouldnt be feeling this suffocated! you need to make sure you have quality time together, maybe set a day, or more every week that you do something together, so that you can grow in the same direction, but not together (do you know what i mean?)
Be individuals in a relationship, not just a relationship
good luck

Former Member

Originally posted by maria_lucia_198
if you feel that u could grow to love her, then like shy boy said, talk to her, explain how you feel and that, you NEED to be going out with your friends because that is all part of the 'learning experience'! and conversly, she needs to be going out with her friends,

:yes: