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i dunno what to do about this girl

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
right, there's this girl i know and she is beautiful. i dunno what it is because its not like loads of guys are chasing her but there's just something about her eyes and her smile that i just find overwhelmingly perfect. She just makes me melt when she looks at me sometimes.

anyway about two years ago i really felt like this about her and set out on an overblown romantic gesture for valentines day to just try and win her over. my valentines card with poem and last rolo didn't work. she said it was sweet, which looking back I guess that's all it was. what i should have done at the time is just try to get to know her better so she could make a better informed decision (i don't see her that often cos i go to a singlesex school and she goes to the girls school near me). I just repressed my emotions and tried to forget about her and didn't really try to get to know her.

The thing is though, I don't know anyone like her. That probably says more about the amount of new girls I meet but she's so pretty yet really intelligent. I think we have a lot in common but i can't seem to get close to her. I sent her a cute birthday txt last year (out of being nice more than anything) and she sent one back when it was my birthday, which just brought it all back up again.

I decided that i want to get to know her. I'm not that bothered about going out with her, I'd just like to be mates. Tried ringing her a few times but circumstances always seem to have been against me like she's been out or something. First time she said she'd call at the weekend but she didn't. I called again but she didn't answer. Sent her a good luck txt for her exam. she sent one back the next day thanking me and apologizing for the fact she hadn't called me. She said she'd been under a lot of stress with exams and everything and asked if she could call me after them. I'm pretty sure all her exams are over now and she hasn't called. Is it worth me ringing her up again or should i just accept that she can't be arsed? I'm reluctant to give up because she's one of a kind and she keeps coming up with reasons why she hasn't called. It's doing my head cos i just want to speak to her and be with her so badly!!:confused:

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How long ago back did she say she'd call? If it was only a few days or so then leave it for abit, she might just be having some problems. If I couldn't be arsed with someone I wouldn't text them and apologise for not getting back to them straight away, would you?

    If you don't talk to her much now build up to the friendship thing, what I mean is instead of crowding her with loads of calls and messages just call her once every so often, then as you get abit more friendly with her call more often. Start meeting up more and going places, as friends. Just think it's worth you knowing though that if you like her that much, your 'friendship' approach might be alot more difficult than you suspect if deep down you want more.

    2 years is a long time, I'd start doing something about it sooner rather than later, if worst comes to the worst and she's not interested it'll be harder to accept if she has been unknowingly the centre of your attention for so long.

    Hope all goes well, just get to know her better, don't crowd her and try and be relaxed about it - as if she was already one of your best mates.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    cheers, she hasn't really been the centre of my attentions for two years straight. i just realised that i should do something about it cos i think she's special.

    i see what you mean by saying that she wouldn't txt if she didn't care but it always seems like i have to do the running, if you know what i mean. i'm not like that good mates with her and i don't see her that often so calling her is the only way i'm ever gonna improve that and if i just leave it for a while it's never gonna blossom into a good friendship. i think i'll give her a few more days and then call her. she said she'd call after exams were over (this week). if she doesn't call this week should i wait or should i just call her? i don't want to crowd her but how can i get to know her?

    i was originally gonna call her just to say thanks for thhe txt message on my birthday and i havent actually spoke to her yet on the phone (have on msn) even though i've rang her up a few times, she's always been busy or hasn't answered my phone.

    i can't stop thinking about it sometimes, she gets my hopes up and then just doesn't do anything for ages. like on my birthday, in that that txt she said i hope all your dreams come true. how ironic is that? the thing i want more than anything in the world and would be a dream come true is her.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It sounds like you've got it more or less planned out and sorted in your head but your just worried about it going the wrong way. It's a good idea about leaving it a few days, and as you said make sure you don't leave it too long. I'd look for something more to ring about than a text message. Next time you speak to her why not suggest you go somewhere? Cinemas or shopping or park or wherever. Not as if you were going on a date but if you were two mates.

    If you're confident chances are she'll be alot more comfortable about everything. How comfortable do you think she'd feel if you said 'Err... err - H, h - How about go-ing t, to the cinema on friday with me?' She'll just feel awkward because she can tell that you do.

    Don't let 'i can't stop thinking about it sometimes' play a part in it. Realise that you like her obviously, but don't get obsessed.

    Tom.
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