Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options

Does race matter?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi, I am a white female and I am very attracted to asian males. But I dont understand why my friends have problems with this. Just because I don't like white guys my friends say I am racist against my own race! Is that even possible?! Sometimes I even get called a 'paki-slag'. I honestly dont see what the problem is. Anyone in the same situation? or anyone have any advice?

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Your friends are just being pathetic. It's not racist to have preferences, eg liking dark hair, asian men, italian women (whatever). I went through a phase where I really liked black men. I'm not saying that I don't anymore, but I'm happy with my b/f now and I'm not looking.

    When you meet someone who you really like it won't make any difference what colour they are.

    It depends what you are like though, do you turn down all white men just cos you prefer asian men? Give everyone a chance, but tell your friends to shut up! Good luck :-)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well yeah actually, I do turn down white men. It might sound stupid but I just can't imagine myself with a white guy. Does that make sense? I dont know what it is really.
    Thanks for your advice. <IMG alt="image" SRC="smile.gif" border="0">
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I get ya, i could only ever go out with white girls, i'm not racist i'm just not attracted to black/asians ! weird <IMG alt="image" SRC="smile.gif" border="0">
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You will find that like is often attracted to like.
    In most cases when asked a person will say they fancy the race they themselves are closest to OR they have spent the most time with. We develop our own standards of beauty over time, so if you were surrounded by white/black/asian/oriental people all day, you would grow accustomed to them, and base your standards of attractiveness on them, and not the people you spend the least amount of time with.
    Does this make sense? It's difficult to explain without turning it into a racist comment,
    but the idea is that everybody is different, and many prefer what they are used to. A good analogy is why a lot of people like McDonalds, because it is familiar to them.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That is true, but your preferences can change. Up until I was 16 I never found black or Asian men particularly attractive, and then within a few years I went out with 1 bloke who was black, 1 who was mixed race, and got off with quite a few more. It was like, after I kissed the first person who wasn't white, the floodgates opened (as such..) Don't want you all to think I'm a complete slag or anything!

    I think IN GENERAL that you get more girls that like boys of another colour, than vice versa. You do not see many white boys with black/asian/chinese girls.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know how ya feel, i've never been attracted to black guys, but it's not racist. it's just like how some lasses aren't attracted to guys w/ blonde hair, etc. <IMG alt="image" SRC="smile.gif" border="0">xxxxhugsxxxx
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know exactly what you mean...

    I'm a Chinese guy myself, but I always prefer (not racist, just preference) someone who is not Chinese or Japanese or Korean. To me, it's because I like meeting girls from other places. I'm not racist against my own race, but just finding other races more interesting, since they're different from what I know, e.g. I like exploring. I've been attracted to Chinese girls in the past and I know I still will, just not as often as British girls or Australians...

    There's also the issue that I've been here in UK for half of my life. So the idea of beauty I get from my enviroment is mostly based on TV and mags, which are mostly white or European. Hope you see what I mean...

    Then there's this male to female and female to male ratio thing. There's more white guys liking the idea of going out with an Asian girl, than there are white girls liking the idea of going out with an Asian guy.

    And has anyone noticed this: Chinese and Japanese guys in general (not racist, just a feature of the race) are the shortest race in asia, compare to Indea, Thai or Pakistan (can't spell). I've always consider myself short, as you can tell from one of my previous post...

    I personally find people in UK (in general again) are less open minded towards relationship with other races, comparing to Canada or Australia. That's one reason why my home is in Toronto and I'm going to work in Australia after I graduate...I've kind of given up on UK after spending 11 years here.

    Chatbox
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Try not to worry about it too much Kyala! Your friends are probably just confused as to why you keep turning down all these (in thier minds) guys who are perfect for you. If they aren't attracted to asian men they may not understand why you're only attracted to them. If they're your friends though they shouldn't give you too hard of a time if you explain it to them.

    I've (like so many people here) had a similar situation when I dated a black guy for a long time. It wasn't so bad after a while but at the beginning people were really akward about it. If we showed up at a party together guys would be hitting on me even if he was right there because they didn't assume that we were together. And we also got sooo many funny looks at restaurants and such from people who were a little bit older. I found it so strange that they wouldn't even try to hide their shock about it.

    Oh well... we broke up but I did learn a lot from him and like someone said, it's like the floodgates did open. I think that the most interesting experience for me was watching the movie "Remember the Titans" with him (anyone else seen this?). It's about the integration of the US schools and I just kept thinking this wasn't that long ago that black and white men had stigma for being friends and now there's even less stigma for a dating relationship.

    Ok... I'm going to stop rambling now... sorry that this is so long!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kyala,

    Don't worry about what your friends say, date whoever or whatever you want. Unfortunately I've had similar experiences. I'm half Asian, half white, with very unusual looks- the kind that often make people take a second look to figure out "what I am". I've dated everything, white, Asian, black, Hispanic, etc... and strangely enough, I've gotten a lot of shit from Asian friends who don't appove of dating outside "our" race. Any Asian girl they will approve of, no matter how much of a bitch she is, or vapid, or shallow, but a white girl (they especially have a problem with white girls) no matter how beautiful or cool, will always be treated differently. This is, of course, so ridiculous because I am just as white as I am Asian. It just goes to show you that every race has people that are so shallow they can't see beyond the worlds they grew up in. (Although, for some reason all of my white, Hispanic and black friends don't care who I'm with) So tell them to fuck off and mind their own business and do what you want.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Race shouldnt matter but it usually does. I dont think its racism, more a fear of the unknown for many people. Usually older people for that matter.

    Personally im as white as white can be and have only dated white women. Thats only because there are extremely few available girls of other races in my area. I have a serious thing for far eastern girls myself, particularly Koreans <IMG alt="image" SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0"> , but there are none anywhere round here <IMG alt="image" SRC="frown.gif" border="0">

    One thing about the UK is that most non white people are from Pakistan/India/Bangladesh/Sri Lanka etc. Lots of them are Muslim and in my experience, they very, very rarely date outside their race/religion.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    does race matter?

    the irony of that question is that if you are turning down one race for another then to you race does matter.

    As for your friends are you sure you cant do any better?

    Thirdly its all looks, i mean i think its a shame to base your preferences on looks wether they be the same or different. But then again we are human and looks do come first for most if not all of us.

    heres a little list of my preferences:

    thierry henry phwoar!
    andrew wk phwoar!
    david boreanz (bac in the day) phwoar!
    robert pires phwoar!
    raul (real madrid) phwoar!
    lead singer of aaf phwoar!
    david who used to work in marks and spencers phwoar!
    im sure theres more oohh yeah lead singer of star sailor phwoarrrrrr!!, tbc
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can see that! i havent ever ben attracted to asian/black girls, not because i am racist cos i have a lot of friends who are black/asian/white they are mixed group but i only find white girls attractive. dont know why i just do!

    Cae9
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thirdly its all looks, i mean i think its a shame to base your preferences on looks wether they be the same or different.

    Its not just looks really, I mean if a drop dead gorgeous white guy tried chatting me up I just wouldnt be interested at all. But if he was asian I would be interested. I dont think its just looks, I think that white guys 'act' differently to asian guys and I prefer the way asian guys are. <IMG alt="image" SRC="rolleyes.gif" border="0">
Sign In or Register to comment.