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How Can I be Happy Again?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey, I need advice on how I can rebuild my mental state….. I know you cant be experts but fuck it I feel like offloading some stuff.

Firstly here’s some background info on me.

Been depressed most of my life, when I was about 18 I went heavily into drugs for a few years ( E , Speed , Coke ) usual shit, all that kind of sent me deeper in the severe depression, anxiety , paranoia , social phobia cycle….. Went on anti - depressants for a year was still doing drugs whilst on them sometimes. Just to feel good, or out in a club to make myself feel more comftable (sp) in my surroundings.

Decided a few months back to go cold turkey on the anti depressants (venlafaxine) without the docs advice I haven’t seen him for about 2months now. I decided to fuck them off because I hated the spell I was under with them…. Felt like crap for 3 weeks but with the help of alcohol I succeeded!

Problem is I’m basically clean off drugs now but still finding myself psychologically craving to do them. I have been drinking every day for …. Well ages ! not drunk for a couple of nights now and feel a bit over anxious which is due to that possibly.

I have done a bit of counselling too, but its really inconvenient to do around work so I left it, not forgetting the fact they was a bit weird and rude to me on the phone once so that put me off going back.

Also bugging me is the little things in life like watching TV or playing a computer game and even doing something like this, my attention span and concentration is not there… its like I’m constantly daydreaming how ever hard I try I still act and feel like I’m on another planet.

I know everyone says this but I hate my job big style everything about it pisses me off and it feels like there’s no way out sometime, like I’m going to be there for ever but I know its my mind exaggerating my feelings.

I haven’t got a girl friend or nothing either , but well I aren’t too fussed 1 step at a time I think……

I know I cant be the only one that’s gone through this kind of shit.

what advice can you tell me anyone….. I know I haven’t gone into real detail and there’s loads I’ve left out but it’s the first time I’ve opened up in ages its not very often I look into myself and see what’s there.

All In all I don’t want to go back on medication or seeing a councillor I want to know what things I could do to bring me back out myself … back loving life again or at least enjoying it.

I think its going to involve some serious lifestyle changes though but that’s to be expected.

Ok discuss..

A part of me doesn’t want to post this out to the world but what have I got to lose.. lol

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    oh dear. sounds like everything has gone a wee bit pear shaped for you :/ i know what that feels like.

    the important thing is that you seem like you have the whole thing not under control, as such, but certainly in perspective. yes, things are pretty shit right now. but they can get better. it's up to you to make them better though, no one's gonna hand anything to you on a plate.

    the post-AD brain fuzz is very familiar. that passes, in time, and you gradually start to feel more human again.

    get out an about more. join clubs that interest you, or take up a new hobby. i know that sounds a very school counsellor thing to say, but it really does work. the busier you are, the less able to think about depressing stuff.

    about your job. if you really hate it that much, wouldn't it be better to find something else? even if it means taking a pay cut, i know i'd rather be doing something i enjoy than something that pays well. you could pop down to your local careers centre to have a chat about what else you could do.

    that's all i can think of for now :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    cheers kaffrin quick reply :eek:

    Yeah i agree things have gone tits up for me, but there are worse off people then me in the world i`ve had a good start compared to some but it still gets me down.

    How long does it take for anti depressants to leave the system completely then do you know? i`d say i`ve been clean off them for over 3 months.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    oh yeah forgot to add.

    I would like to do more things with my spare time but the only people i know are only into gettin pissed or off there head. I`m not very good at meeting new people... so its hard
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Digital-Emotion
    How long does it take for anti depressants to leave the system completely then do you know? i`d say i`ve been clean off them for over 3 months.

    i've been off for about a year now, and i still get the occasional 'huh, what the hell?' moment. i think it takes 2 weeks for the actual drugs to be out of your system, but because they alter your brain chemistry, it can take a while for that to go back to normal.

    and i'm pretty shy with new people too, but i find it's a lot easier to make friends with people if you share an interest. like mr. kaffrin is normally quiet, but if he meets someone who's interested in bikes, you can't shut him up. which is why i suggested the club thing. i don't know how old you are, but there's usually something for everyone...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by kaffrin
    i've been off for about a year now, and i still get the occasional 'huh, what the hell?' moment. i think it takes 2 weeks for the actual drugs to be out of your system, but because they alter your brain chemistry, it can take a while for that to go back to normal.

    and i'm pretty shy with new people too, but i find it's a lot easier to make friends with people if you share an interest. like mr. kaffrin is normally quiet, but if he meets someone who's interested in bikes, you can't shut him up. which is why i suggested the club thing. i don't know how old you are, but there's usually something for everyone...

    Thing is i have took a lot of illegal drugs as well so thats messed my brain about a LOT too. So maybe i`ll return to a "normal" state in the year 2030 lol!

    I`m 22 so there has to be something in the big wide world that can put me back on the straight and narrow. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi there

    Well it sounds like everything is a bit messy for you at the moment, but like K said at least you realise this! What I'm going to say next will sound harsh, but I really think you should listen...

    Coming off the anti-depressants suddenly and without consulting your GP was ill-advised, especially as you just replaced them with a depressant drug - alcohol.

    By taking recreational drugs and drinking heavily, both while on your ad's and since, you are escaping rather than addressing your real problems, and until you begin to tackle them straight on you will continue to feel in this limbo. The anxiety you are feeling when you haven't drunk for a couple of days is from alcohol withdrawal as you have become dependent on this, it sounds like you are using it as a coping mechanism.

    There are a lot of issues here, and much as you will hate me saying this I really think you need to seek help in tackling them all. Now whether you enlist the help of someone close to you or, as I'd advise, go back to your GP and consider returning to counselling or try CBT (you could see someone different) is of course up to you. But by your own admission it's time to get yourself back on track. Some features and helplines to get you started:

    dangerous drinking

    Booze and mental health

    Look after yourself

    addiction (drugs/alcohol)

    counselling

    CBT

    Drinkline
    Confidential telephone help, info and advice on all aspects of alcohol use and abuse. Calls are free.
    Telephone: 0800 9178282

    Careline
    Telephone counselling service for children, young people and adults on any issue, including relationships, depression, mental health, child abuse, bullying, rape and sexual assault, domestic violence, addictions, stress etc.
    Telephone: 020 8875 0500

    SANELINE
    Offers practical information, crisis care and emotional support to anybody affected by mental health problems. The service is open from 12 noon until 2am.
    Telephone: 0845 767 8000

    Take care of you

    Susie x
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