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pls help asap im all upset :(

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hey guys its me again! ur probably all thinkin how pathetis my life is etc cos off all times ive come on here wiv problems!


anyway, me and my mates had a fite well arguement and we rnt talkin. one of them yesterday invited my b.f round her house (i know he shudnt have gone) and they had sex (we r all only 15)

im feel such a prat cos he didnt even tell me his mate did cos he thort its was unfair i didnt knwo. another mate of mine foned the girl up and asked her about it and she just laughed cos she knew i was there and my b.f was in the background going shit shit shit cos id found out.


really i need sum advice on wat 2 do knwo, not the obvious 4get them both and dump him, but just some help! my whole life is a bit shitty! my last b/f dumped me 4 sum1 else! <IMG alt="image" SRC="frown.gif" border="0">

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dump him and try the single life for a while... it'll help protect your from tossers like that until you feel a little stronger, cos I know you were still pretty upset about your ex...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah im a bit upset bout my ex but thats gettin better im thnkin bout him less and less.

    this really hurts tho. <IMG alt="image" SRC="frown.gif" border="0">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    of course it does honey, you're only human.
    A bloke like the one you have now won't help you leave the last one behind though. Just take some time out, and think about what you want from men, and relationships in general, so you know exactly what you are looking for and have more chance of finding someone who will be good for you.
    love and hugs
    fels
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i wudnt have gone out wiv the new one if i'd known he was like this, i just feel so stupid <IMG alt="image" SRC="frown.gif" border="0">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey, it's him whos stupid, not you.
    Mail me it you wan't to chat... I have to go and sing now...
    love and hugs... don't worry, you'll get through this.
    Fels
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This bloke is NOT what you need right now. i've followed some of your posta and i know you've been upset recently. this is not what you need in your life. i know its hard but i think you should get rid of him and in some respect this 'friend' who slept with him because a friend doesnt do that and it takes two to tango. let them both stew in their own juices, they deserve one another.

    you on the other hand are not stupid... you are human and we all make mistakes and it is often when it comes to judging other people, you thought he was a decent guy and he obviously isnt. i think the single life is what you need for a bit. get used to being independent and standing up for yourself and then go about getting a guy who will treat you with the respect you deserve. Cheer up love.x.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ditch the guy
    then change your image e.g new hairstyle and some new clothes so he can realise what he is missing!
    then buy yourself a nice big jar of pesto use it as a dip with chips and sit in front of the tv and chill

    but really, its natural to feel what u are feeling right now - just dont take the bastard back
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    u need to make him see ur strong and dont need him! bf's come and go but it must be hard havin to see ur mate around! id kill her personally but i no that wont solve much! try talkin 2 her see y she did it! if ur friendships worth saving go for it if its not just get on with life - as hard as it may be! ur only 15 and life is just startin!! hold ur head high and think positive!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    <IMG alt="image" SRC="frown.gif" border="0"> you need cheering up. Of course, it would be totally irresponsible to throw something staining over him at school as an 'accident', and I would not recommend any other form of revenge either <IMG alt="image" SRC="smile.gif" border="0"> </sarcasm>

    Wash him outta your hair, as someones (sos, I forget whos <IMG alt="image" SRC="frown.gif" border="0">) sig says, the one man whos worth your tears wont make you cry <IMG alt="image" SRC="smile.gif" border="0"> Just get a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge box of choccies, a vid and have a girlie night in or something <IMG alt="image" SRC="smile.gif" border="0"> Or go out to the club he goes to (if hes does) and get off with as many lads as possible <IMG alt="image" SRC="tongue.gif" border="0">

    But the only consolation is thats hes a cunt, and that 'mate' will get hurt too. And dont forget to laugh at the stupid bitch.

    *hugs*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well said kermit me lad. as always you are very wise.

    the best way to show your strength is not retribution but just end it. and carry on. he wont have his ego inflated, and wont have an excuse to shift the story to his side. (if you see what i mean-

    ''psyco bitch! she set my clothes on fire and stole my cat! you can see why i.. yes well. psyco bitch.''

    would have to be
    ''yes well, i just really fancied her mate and, yes well, it wasnt me it was my penis taking blood from my brain! yes thats it. yes well''

    ''youre a bloody fool mate. and a twat. lovely girl.''

    )

    hugs and smiles and dall that malarky. <IMG alt="image" SRC="wink.gif" border="0">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey guys im doing ok and thanx 4 the advice!

    my ex and i have started talkin again which is good, he foned me last nite wen he heard bout wat had happened and we just talked 4 a bit but im still off skool as im ill but i talked 2 him on msn a bit just now so its all ok. i like him but not really anymore than as a mate! <IMG alt="image" SRC="smile.gif" border="0"> so im doing ok but pls keep pillin on the advice!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i went through the same thing, my ex left me for another girl, he actually cheated on me 1st tho, but the sex fing has never happened to me, i thought i would never be able to move on but i did!!!

    are u mad at ur friend for doing that to u??
    u should be more mad at ur boyfriend!!!
    how could he have sex with your mate??? specially after she upset u!!
    he obviously doesnt really care bout u enough, dont waste ur time on him, he will only do it again and hurt u even more

    theres someone out there who is better than him and will treat u 100% better, hope u find him soon!! <IMG alt="image" SRC="smile.gif" border="0">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by CoNFuSeD BouT SeX:
    [QB]

    are u mad at ur friend for doing that to u??
    u should be more mad at ur boyfriend!!!
    how could he have sex with your mate??? specially after she upset u!!
    he obviously doesnt really care bout u enough, dont waste ur time on him, he will only do it again and hurt u even more
    QB]

    im more mad at my mate because we've been mates 4 bout 5 years and we were really close but wiv my b/f id known him a few weeks so it wasnt as bad (if that makes sence)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh God this strikes close to home blondebatman! I won't bore you with all the details of the situation but basically a week after my boyfriend and I broke up (possibly not even a complete breakup, more just we needed time apart for a bit) my best friend slept with him. I've known her for about 9 years and had been dating him 1 year before this.
    When I found out (about 3 months later) I had a really hard time with it. Granted it wouldn't be as bad as yours since the guy was an ex at the time (but barely). but it was still one of the hardest things I've ever gone through.
    So what did I do? Cried when I found out, asked both of them a lot of why questions (was definetly in the angry stage here) and then stopped speaking to both of them for a while. I moved out of the country around the same time so it was convenient to ignore them.
    I am actually on speaking terms with both of them again but it's been a long and slow process... a lot of explaining and apologizing on their parts and honestly me just needing a lot of time to try to forgive what happened as a mistake.


    As for your situation, I have to agree with everyone here that the most important thing you can do is keep your dignity about the entire situation. He wins if you don't move on. And the guilt thing really is true, if you stay civil towards him the guilt will eat him up.
    Can you be friends with these people again? I don't know if I would bother with the guy- after all he was only a short time anyways and if he couldn't last more than a month or so without cheating on you chances are he'll do it again. As for the girl... I think it depends on if she's sorry or not. You said she laughed on the phone??? I can't imagine laughing knowing I had made one of my friends sad. If she isn't regretful at all then she probably isn't a true friend. At least you found out now before you invest any more of your time into her!


    Glad to hear that you're talking to the ex again. I know how hard it was for you to be ignored earlier. You were so brave before and I know that you will carry yourself equally well through this situation. Good luck and I'm here to talk if you need to find someone!

    Smiles!
    -Star
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would definitely be more mad at my mate <IMG alt="image" SRC="mad.gif" border="0"> God, she must be a real bitch, aswell as a slag. <IMG alt="image" SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0"> Make sure she doesnt see you hurting coz it soundz to me like she would love that. Make sure to flirt with her b/f (if she has one or gets one) like mad to piss her off!! <IMG alt="image" SRC="wink.gif" border="0">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im tryin not to talk 2 either of them but the boy is hardest i wanna b mates with him cos i dont like that thort of not being which probably makes no sence but to me i have the feelin of thats wat i really want (that makes NO sence)
    i miss my ex alot and i found my self thnkin about him alot 2day but i cant have him back he moved on!
    im going round in circles with wat i feel <IMG alt="image" SRC="frown.gif" border="0">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's to be expected that you're confused and turned around about everything. I mean, just when you start to get over the ex the current b/f does something so dumb that it makes the ex look great!

    I have to agree with what was said earlier- take a mandatory break from men. Tell yourself how long it will be before you will date again and try to stick to it (if someone amazing does show up feel free to make an exception but make sure that he is amazing and that it isn't just that he likes you). You have to get your confidence back up and be happy with yourself again before you can be truly comfortable trusting again.

    As for your friend and the guy... I know it seems like she did worse and for that reason you want to be friends with him and not her. But in all honesty it was the same thing on both sides and while he seems more regretful there is no reason to put all the blame on her. Be open with your feelings to both of them and maybe you can eventually work it all out but don't force yourself into it. If you can't trust them or get over it don't pretend like you can. It will all come out in the end anyways.

    Keep smiling sweetie!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have to agree here - my boyfriend and i had an argument at my birthday party and my 'best' mate got off with him an hour later... i was not too impressed, particularly when i found out they were seeing each other secretly, a month later (needless to say, he's my ex!) Take a break from boys... you'll have more fun, bond with your REAL friends and you WILL find someone who's worth it, my current b/f is lovely - you tend to go for the oppposite of the person you were with for your next b/f so hopefully he won't be as much of a shit. Smile and rise above it!
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