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Unapproachable

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi All,

To cut a long strory short, after having a bad motorbike accident and surviving my views on life changed along with many other things.

One of them being relationships.
Since, i have not had a relationship and i cant understand why.
Had no problems before hand.

Until a good lady friend of mine told me something that suprised me.

She works in this pub along with another 4/5 young ladies, and she told me they all fancied me, lucky me i guess.

So then i thought, well whats the problem, i more or less talk to these girls every other night and make good banter.

Then she continued to say that they found me unapproachable.

When i asked her to explain, she couldn't or didn't like to.

Cant work it out, im left in a ruck, can anyone explain why a guy is unapproachable?

Never use to be like this, is it something im doing without realizing?

If a ladie could explain from her point of view i would appreciate it. :)

Hope someone could shed some light on the situation. :)

Cheers.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    how does she mean unnaproachable? That's the thing. People throw words around that can be interpereted in so many ways, and don't explain what they mean in that instance!

    I'd say *probably* means you put up a barrier, aren't very friendly etc but that doesn't seem like how you described. Maybe they're intimidated, just too many maybe's :confused:

    Heh it's such a headfuck when you don't know what someone means isn't it? :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for the reply.

    I'm always friendly, perhaps i am putting up a barrier and not knowing i'm doing it.

    Could this be my defensive side with my military background and not knowing im doing it? :confused:

    It's mad, never use to have this problem.
    And its now doing my head in.

    Indeed it is when you dont know what someone means, she couldn't explain it to me. :(

    :eek2:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What about your body language?

    As in you having your arms folded meaning that you are "closed". Instead of your arms not folded meaning you are "open" & not on the defensive or approachable.

    Just a little suggestion.

    .:Crispy:.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by JayZ
    Thanks for the reply.

    I'm always friendly, perhaps i am putting up a barrier and not knowing i'm doing it.

    Could this be my defensive side with my military background and not knowing im doing it? :confused:

    It's mad, never use to have this problem.
    And its now doing my head in.

    Indeed it is when you dont know what someone means, she couldn't explain it to me. :(

    :eek2:

    ahhh i think you're either too confident or too goodlooking. people can be intimidated by that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for the replies.

    Thanks for the suggestion Crispy, i must admit sometimes its a habbit of mine crossing my arms as i was taught never to put my hands in my pockets as i always use to do. :)

    Not sure about the rest of my body language, the funny thing is you just dont realize what your doing. :)

    Hi lipsy, i think i come across as quite confident but i wouldnt call myself that goodlooking. :rolleyes:

    :cool:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ive been told that im unapproachable!

    My ex girlfriend said she was terrified by speaking to me, and it took me speaking to her to realise that I was like any other guy. She reckons it was coz I was good-looking (and im 6'3) that she was intimidated by me.

    Its the same with my best mates sister....she said that when we first met, she couldn't act her normal self around me, it was like she went all funny around me, like I was famous!!! I still laugh at it now!

    It still happens now, ive been told that girls like me, but they NEVER come up and speak to me! Im the one who has to initiate things.....and being a bit of a whimp when speaking to girls for the first time, some of these girls dont think im interested when I am!

    All im saying is if ur unapproachable....then approach them.....let them see that ur not this .........(insert, goodlooking, confident, scary, sexy, whatever) and ur like any other bloke(u wanna get in thier pants!)


    Good luck anyways mate!:D
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