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I hate this.......

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm completely messed up in the head, everything has fucked me up today.

Last night, one of my flatmates, who has some serious problem with me, gave me the one finger as we left the nightclub. Then when we got outside he pushed me twice not very hard, but the third time was really hard and if i didnt keep my balance, which I almost didnt, i would have cracked my head on the pavement.

I was gaggin for air, i get short of breath like that sometimes, and he wouldnt let me into a taxi with them, he tries to kick me onto the road, but eventually I get in.

Then we get home, and he goes to bed basically. The guy is a total dickhead, and he's already said that im not sharing with the rest of my flat next year, which is fair enough, but he's just SUCH A DICKHEAD !!!!!!!!

Anyway, i went to see the accomodation officer for our block earlier, and she asked me whether i wanted to go to the police or not ?? I would, but its just my other flatmates are stuck in between me and him, they are in a hard position, and seeing as they are the only witnesses it would fuck things up.

I am not moving out of that flat, i mean why should I ?? OK I had some problems earlier on in the year, but Im better now, and if anyone should leave it should be him. And I heard my mum on the phone, she sounds a wreck, really worried about me I think, and if she takes another heart attack beacuse of this shit then I am not going to be responsible for my actions.

Damn, I'm just so sorry for this rant, i needed to get all that out. Im just wondering whether you guys think I should go to the police ??

Im sorry for depressing you all <IMG alt="image" SRC="frown.gif" border="0">

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Here's What you do.

    Collect the following:
    1. a large carpet, with black polythene glued to the underside.
    2. Several other large pieces of polythene
    3. a short handled axe
    4. a radiation/biohazard suit
    5. a spade
    6. strong hydrocloric acid
    7. a hammer
    8. a gallon of petrol
    9. a lighter/matches
    10. 4 large rolls of gaffer(Duct) tape
    11. Possibly a saw/knife.

    Method:
    Set up the living room of the flat. Make sure no one else will be home for at least half a day.
    cover furniture, floors, walls etc with polythene, making sure there are no gaps in the polythene.
    Place carpet on the floor, polythene side down.
    Place the axe in an easily accessible place
    Put on the Biohazard Suit.
    Invite him over, and when he walks in, and says "what the fuck is this???", bring the axe down on to the back of his head, hopefully cleaving the skull in half. this way he feels no pain.
    take the body, wrap it in the carpet, and place it in your car at the dead of night.
    meanwhile, strip all the polythene from the flat, keeping it in one piece, and place that in the car as well.
    Drive to a large forest, and dig a hole with the spade. make sure it is at least 5 feet deep. the deeper, the better.
    Knock the teeth out with a hammer. collect them and bury them at least 5 miles away, each in their own small hole.
    burn off the fingerprints and any identifying marks (tattoos, scars, etc) and the hair with the hydrochloric acid (in case the body is found before decomposition)
    If you want to go the whole hog, cover the body in acid.
    bury the body. covewr with original earth, and then leaves, humous, brances, twigs, etc.
    get in the car, and drive the polythene out to another remote location, 50 miles away or so. wrap the polythene into one big bundle, cover with petrol, and light it. beware that it will be covered in blood, so do not spill any. if you do, pour petrol on the spilled patch and burn that.
    Then get out of there. do the same with the biohazard suit in another location.

    There you go, problem solved. And no-one will ever know anything about it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hmmm not the most practical idea ive heard, but it made me laugh <IMG alt="image" SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0">
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    (Indignantly)
    It is a perfectly crafted plan, and those who use it shall prevail!!

    It's my method of being lifeguard of the gene pool.
    I save humanity by removing the morons from the water.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah it would be nice if I could pull it off <IMG alt="image" SRC="wink.gif" border="0"> but buying all that shit would take up half my student loan, and I cant drive.

    Apart from that I like it a lot.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Most of the "equipment" can be acquired on the cheap, the hydrochloric acid can be stolen from a science lab, and concentrated yourself.

    The only problem lies in not driving. You don't want anyone else to know...they might crack, and tell someone. Ever see "Very bad things"? The film is right, an annoying situation like yours can soon turn into a fucking bloodbath.
    <IMG alt="image" SRC="mad.gif" border="0">
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    umm is anyone else scared by badman. are u ok? its just u seem to have put alot of thought into how to kill a flatmate.

    bloody good idea though - i must just have to try it HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA snarf HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH heheheh MWA MWA MWA MWAMWA

    sorry an evil side to me has been unleashed on the world. mWA mwa mwa
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