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The end of the relationship?? in need of advice

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi, newbie here. i need some advice on quite a confusing situation.

It all started last night when i was talking to my girlfriend. i'm 18, shes 16, and i'm going to university in september. What she basically told me ws that after May, she doesn't think we should stay together anymore. She didn't think that we should try and make things work while i'm away or anything.

It also seemed to me that she thinks our relationship is pointless. i feel heart broken, i really love her, and thought that at the very least i'd be able to spend a great summer with her before i went.

Is there anyway i can stop this break up, or any advice at all on the situation, i'm really quite desperate.


P.S sorry that was long, i though i could have got it down in fewer words.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She seems to have already made her mind up, but I think it's a bit shitty of her to tell you that after May you won't be together.
    I think you can do 2 things,
    try and enjoy the time, even though it will end
    or.
    Tell her to fuck off, and break up with her there and then. There is no point in prolonging the inevitable.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for listening, and for the advice.

    believe me, i want nothing more than to enjoy the last few months we have together. i just don't think she loves me as much as i love her, which is why i feel so painful inside.

    What hurt me the most is that a) she doesn't think we should spend any of the summer together, and b) she has made up her mind already, without talking about the future or anything.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks RNT. i think deep down i already knew everything you said, i just needed someone to say it to me.

    looks like i'm going to have to find someone else. <IMG alt="image" SRC="frown.gif" border="0">
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thing ive found out with 15/16/17 year old girls, is they dont want commitment. Blokes are more into being with someone for a long time (either because they are more mature, or just stupid, i havent worked out which). Girls of that age just want to have a bit of fun, they dont want to settle down, even if they do take that engagement ring off you, it never lasts.

    Personally i think she enjoys your company, likes being with you, but if shes one of them girls who can have any bloke, then why bother putting in the effort to see you, when she can just find someone else to put the effort into see her. I think her saying that is just plain wrong, but then most things girls say i find just plain wrong (being the bitter and cynical guy i am <IMG alt="image" SRC="wink.gif" border="0">) maybe to make it easier on you, seeing as shes decided to break up with you effectivly, you should see each other less and less as time goes on, maybe look for another girl nearer the time, seeing her as only a person your seeing, not dating. Might be an idea to help you go through it easier.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    that is total rubbish i think most girls of my age (17) would love to settle down with a guy they love like me that is all i want im now with someone i want to spend all my time with and it is difficult to spend a week or so away from him so the reason why she is putting a date on it i dont understand but i think this is going to really upset her and she is only doing it because she feels she couldnt cope with you being away this is probably the best thing for you both because if youare not in a strong relationship to begin with it would only fail.

    cheer up <IMG alt="image" SRC="smile.gif" border="0">
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im feeling a bit insure at the moment because im going to uni in sept and i dunno wots happening between me & my bf! can long distance relationships work well? i dunno if i will b able to remain loyal to him if hes miles away from me. ive been with my bf for 9 months & im sure that i love him & i think he feels the same way towards me. sometimes i feel like im holding him back from enjoying himself and going out with his mates like he should be because hes 16 & im 18. i dunno what to do!? any ideas? please!!!

    confused
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hello,

    Hey man I really dearly do think your in one of the most crappiest part of a relationship now... Ok I went through the same thing as you about 2 years back it was with a girl I loved and I mean I love her so much I losed all my friends because of her and I loved her that much but what happened was she was going on holidays and she told me I am sorry in 2 months I dont want to go steady I was like heart broken It was the first girl made me cry!! (some might laugh) so about 1 month had past and she kept sayin remember before my holidays we are breakin up so I said to her you know somethin In about 2 mins time we are goin to break up so I snogged her and said well have a nice life well lol we never look at each other anymore so its for the best but I would tell her to go to fuck or else stick with her of you want too!!

    Your choice hope I helped!! Sorry this was long!!! <IMG alt="image" SRC="confused.gif" border="0"> <IMG alt="image" SRC="confused.gif" border="0"> <IMG alt="image" SRC="confused.gif" border="0"> <IMG alt="image" SRC="confused.gif" border="0"> <IMG alt="image" SRC="confused.gif" border="0">
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I forgot lol on her holidays she really wanted to break up to go with other people well she got the flew and couldnt go with anyone!! well happy endin! not really!! <IMG alt="image" SRC="smile.gif" border="0">
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I talked to my g/f and we've decided to just live for the day. (well she decided, i wanted a bit more of a commitment, but any time i can spend with her before i go is worth it.)
    Thanks for all your advice.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What a shame honey! I know your situation well and can say from experience that communication is the key here. I was in a relationship with a boy who was my best friend for 6 years before we decided to 'get it on', so to speak. We were both 18, had decided to go to different universities on opposite sides of the country. We felt at the time that it was worth a shot, and we stayed together. Obviously, with both of us embarking on totally different lives things changed - we both changed - and soon enough (after about 6 months apart) we split up. We didn't see each other, the phonecalls got fewer and more far between, and we simply realised that our priorities had changed. Crap, but true. We just didn't work hard enough at it.

    On the other hand, the next time I was in this situation , it did work out - and very well. <IMG alt="image" SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0"> I was in a lovely relationship at the end of my degree, and the wonderful man i was seeing still had another year left. I was going to live elsewhere, but we decided to stay together. We spent a year commuting every weekend, spoke all the time and talked through everything. He moved in with me when he finished up, and hasn't left since!! <IMG alt="image" SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0"> <IMG alt="image" SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0">

    Just goes to show that it CAN work, and I hope it does for you. Just keep your feelings very open and you can avoid getting hurt.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by NeoNero:
    <STRONG>Thing ive found out with 15/16/17 year old girls, is they dont want commitment. Blokes are more into being with someone for a long time </STRONG>
    ok that is the complete opposite! im 15 and i would love 2 settle down even tho yeah im only 15 i like stability! every single guy i know even the older ones dont wanan settle down!

    <IMG alt="image" SRC="confused.gif" border="0">
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