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What makes a good bf?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ok, simple question.....
But is it a simple answer?


I'm in shock because two of my friends who are a couple and have been together almost a year have a very fucked up relationship as far as I am concerned.

To start off, the bf is so tight with his money, Its unbelievable. He's hit her a few times as well and put her in hospital and made her cry tonight as well.

He's a nice guy apart from the hitting bit and being a tight fisted c*nt. I'm sure he has more nice qualities as well but I do not see them.

From the above would you girls be able to class him as a bf? (good bf, bad bf, etc.) - I know you don't know the reason he hit her but he thinks that he's justified for doing so- :eek2:

I'm not jealous of him or anything of that sort. I am just dumbfounded that a girl could put up with all that. As they are both under 20 surely the relationship can only get worse?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well my bf makes me laugh, cuddles me lots, I find him the sexiest guy in the world. We have the same sense of humor, hes kind, loving, would do anything for me, wouldnt hit me....but most of all....cos anyone could be like this...most of all I feel the exact same and spoil him like he does me, there is just a magnificant spark there that I cant describe and everything feels so natural.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Some girls fall for that kinda guy though. Maybe they are scared of being alone so they stick it out with them ? Maybe they have grown up with arguing and fighting around them ?
    I know a male friend, he's in his early 20's and he's a canny lad, he's not tight with money, will really look after a lass and take her for meals buy her pressies and all that stuff, but she finished with him because he was too nice :eek2:
    I dont know why people stay with boyfriends when he is hitting her, but part of me thinks its all they know and that yes they are afraid to be left on the shelf.
    no doubt someones gonna correct me and tell me im wrong, but what other reason can there be ?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah i don't understand some of my friends relationships.

    a friend from uni is a long distance relationship with her boyfriend and they only see each other every few weeks. it must be really hard, they spend all their time on the phone. but from what ive gathered from her best mate the boyfriend is a twat! he calls her fat and tells her she can't wear skirts or she can only have one drink if she's out on a night out. he phones her loads throughout the night when she's out with us to make sure she's not talkin to lads or drinking. this girl would never cheat so he has no right to be suspicious. if he's being that posessive and jealous then that says something about him. it's usually the ones who are guilty who are like that. apparently there have been loads of rumours how he's slept around behind her back but she won't believe them.

    it makes me question why would you stay in this relationship?? even when they're at home together they argue loads. last year we used to hear her crying and arguing on the phone almost everynight. it may be hard to leave someone who you love..but surely its not worth staying in something like that!?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: What makes a good bf?
    Originally posted by Harmless
    To start off, the bf is so tight with his money, Its unbelievable. He's hit her a few times as well and put her in hospital and made her cry tonight as well.

    IMO the two most important things in a relationship are trust and respect.

    as soon as there's any violence in the relationship, you've lost both.

    i wouldn't touch this guy with someone else's shitty stick.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my bf would never hit me. hes lovley and i love him loads. We also like the same stuff and we get on like best mates would. Its great:D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah in a relationship, the main fing u need is trust. i get on so well wiv my bf even tho we havent been goin out 4 that long... but i trust him and know he wouldn't do anything to hurt me. i trust him and he trusts me. i love him loads but if he hit me, i wud definately split up wiv him. there should be no voilence in a relationship. My ex-best m8 went out wiv a boy for about 1 and a 1/2 years, and all thru their relationship she treated him like sh*t. i didnt no how he cud've put up wiv her. she used 2 beat him up and made sure he had no gal m8s... which i fink is well outta order.:(
    my bf wud neva hit me.
    if there's any1 out there who's bf hits em, finish the realtionship. it aint good. ur just gonna end up worse off
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just a quick update on my friends relationship

    Yesterday at work I get a phone call from the gf crying about how her bf is telling basically that he's going to kill himself.

    The reason -: His mum told him that she doesn't like/love him & he's no longer welcomed in their home anymore and she hates his gf.

    This made him then txt his gf saying life shit, got nothing to live for etc etc and he's going to go for a "long walk".

    She starts going ape shit and rings the bf mother trying to let her know what's going on but the mother hangs up the phone on her before she can say a word.

    The Gf then calls me while I'm at work looking for help, she asks me to talk to the bf. I do this and perhaps end up making things worse!:o

    I end up telling her to leave it and give him space and time. She does this and few hours later the bf rings his gf and dumps her!!

    This again makes her cry and she phones me (this is by then like the 4th call i've had from her and I'm still at work!) I get bit pissed off and tell her to leave it cos he's looking for attention and even if he does decide to do something their is nothing you can do about it. :o - not good advice I know.

    Stupid thing is I think it's all OK now :rolleyes: now. I txt her and she said things are fine:eek2:

    I won't ever understand women.

    - *In that case Vicky, I reckon I'd make a good bf.*
    :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A good bf, for me, is somebody who shows loads of affection in front of our mates & even does the baby talk-ness that should be kept behind closed doors when his friends are around too. Because that just shows he doesnt care who knows how he feels and i love that about my bf.

    Somebody who cares, but not someone who is so sickly sweet that you have to break up with them because theyre too nice!! :yuck: somebody with flaws, but who loves my flaws.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by lil_minx
    somebody with flaws, but who loves my flaws.
    :yes: very much

    There are little things which I hate abut myself, usally little things with my body, which my bf loves! (or pretends!)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    People like that aren't meant to be. They're just lost in habit.

    I've been through that whole fiasco where my Mum's all "Dump him, or get out" and I've pondered fucking off, but what it comes to is that most Mum's always have a better idea of things than you. This isn't always the case though. One thing that they can vouch for is mor experience in life.

    Anyways, my perfect blokey would be someone who's as daft as me, and is a reliable sod who goes beyond expectation in nice, sentimental things. He has to have utmost respect for me, bar the odd times where he takes the mick, and where I can take the mick out of him.

    He must also be an Ashton Kutcher look-a-like, or it's a no-go situation. :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A good boyfriend is someone who when you cry will dry your tears, hold you, listen to you, and reassure you until you are smiling again. A good boyfriend wouldn't think of hitting you without good cause. He will hold your hand in public, introduce you to those close to him, make you feel part of the gang with them. He will raise your self esteem, try to make sure you always feel beautiful, loved and wanted by him. He will care about you and not want to see you hurt by anyone. He will protect you, stand up for you and not want anyone else. He will always tell the truth. He will make an effort to like all of your friends. He would be willing to do anything for you.

    Mine does all of that :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by HunnyPot
    A good boyfriend is someone who when you cry will dry your tears, hold you, listen to you, and reassure you until you are smiling again. A good boyfriend wouldn't think of hitting you without good cause. He will hold your hand in public, introduce you to those close to him, make you feel part of the gang with them. He will raise your self esteem, try to make sure you always feel beautiful, loved and wanted by him. He will care about you and not want to see you hurt by anyone. He will protect you, stand up for you and not want anyone else. He will always tell the truth. He will make an effort to like all of your friends. He would be willing to do anything for you.

    Mine does all of that :)

    Does he walk on water? :p

    Lucky madam :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by 1983
    Does he walk on water? :p

    Lucky madam :)

    JEBUS!!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Gavman
    JEBUS!!!

    SAAAAaaaaaaaaave meeeeeeeeh
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Aspartame
    What would constitute a "good cause"? :confused:

    Self-defence...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by HunnyPot
    A good boyfriend wouldn't think of hitting you without good cause.

    a good boyfriend wouldnt think of hitting you full stop
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by blonde__batman
    a good boyfriend wouldnt think of hitting you full stop
    i completly agree there... i have taken a good couple of beating's off my ex fiance cause she was upset and i refuse to hit a woman at all, under any circumstances!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by blonde__batman
    a good boyfriend wouldnt think of hitting you full stop

    I think I worded it wrong. My boyfriend wouldn't think of hitting me at all, even if I was punching him! But I personally think it is acceptable for a man to hit a woman back in self defence. Not retalliation, self defence, like he needed to to get her away from him.
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