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boy & girl relationships

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Can a boy & a girl have a friends only relationship?

Or does this eventually end & turn into something more than just friends?

.:Crispy:.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: boy & girl relationships
    Originally posted by Crispy
    Can a boy & a girl have a friends only relationship?

    Or does this eventually end & turn into something more than just friends?

    .:Crispy:.

    I believe that in ANY close male and female friendship, the issue of them becoming an item will always arise. They might go out with eachother for a week, then come to the conclusion they are just not compatible as an item but fantastic as good mates. Or they might end up as husband and wife.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah they can, some of my best mates are girls but I wouldnt want to go out with them (and not just because Im going out with my bestest mate [/sycophant]).

    But the issue probably does arise if you become very very close, because relationships are built on being very very close. Sexual attraction is always important, of course, but closeness is sexually attractive in its own way sometimes.

    Is this apropos of anything in particular?:)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i've never been able to have a friends only relationship with a boy. there's always that element of attraction there because you've spent time together and are good friends. i usually ended up pulling them when im drunk :(
    now i don't tend to hang around with boys much, just have them as acquaintances because i know it can't be platonic, especially on their side.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hang on lipsy, you've just contradicted yourself there. One moment you're saying that you can't help yourself when you're drunk. Then the next moment you're saying that it can't be platonic "especially on their side". Sounds like you're just as much to blame for it.

    Mr_Wobble ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kermit
    Yeah they can, some of my best mates are lads but I wouldnt want to go out with them

    :yes:
    Admittedly there are some that I would, but the majority I wouldnt.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Quote: Can a boy & a girl have a friends only relationship?

    :eek2: Er, yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees.... :eek2:

    Is this a trick question????
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: boy & girl relationships
    Originally posted by Crispy
    Can a boy & a girl have a friends only relationship?

    Or does this eventually end & turn into something more than just friends?

    .:Crispy:.

    YES THEY CAN - I HAVE LOADS!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Of course they can - you're watching too much Eastenders :rolleyes:

    and even if you were convinced they couldn't - have you never heard of being gay?! I used to have quite a few male friends who were gay - and some very close, but nothing was ever going to come of that was it?!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes they definately can - I have a really close friend who all my friends have fancied at some point but I never have and he has never fancied me either and as a result we get on better with each other. But I also have really close friends who I have more of a filrty relationship with- this can get a bit dangerous though.

    Sx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: boy & girl relationships
    Originally posted by Crispy
    Can a boy & a girl have a friends only relationship?

    I don't think they can. Not close friends anyway. I have never been able to be platonic mates with a bloke without them deciding that actually they fancy you after all. One of you will always fancy the other :yes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Right for years i've said that yes boys and girls can be friends but recently ive had a re-think due to something happening. I can honestly say looking back, all my male friendships (I have about 5 that are very close) are because there has been an attraction on one side. Ive had to deal with a mae friends not being my friend now because I have a boyfriend now. I feel used and hurt as he was only ever there for me because he fancied me. The thing is, when my male friends are drunk they always seem to confess feelings for me, well not always but recently, say the last year they have and there are other little things that they do and say that ive only just started to realise. Maybe ive known it all along but chose to ignore it.
    I have a couple of gay guy friends, so I thought to myself well it's not true with them and I certainly dont fancy them.
    Now dont hate me but I reckon the majority of boy girl friendships the boy will eb the one that fancies the girl. I have spoken to other girls about this and they agreea with the first paragraph, however I cant ask my male friends, can I, really?
    So, now im feeling a bitused and hurt but not greatly, just mainly with the guy who isnt so close with me, or actually talking to me all of a sudden!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my best mate of a couple of years has been a girl and never anything arisen from it?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Bomberman444
    my best mate of a couple of years has been a girl and never anything arisen from it?
    Well it's not everyone. My best mate is a boy and he has told me he has feelings for me, the only reason we are this good friends is because of this but it's all turned out fo the best. This guy is one that has not pursued them and I think the feelings are only aroused when im drunk though since finding it out I dont feel as close to him anymore.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by VinylVicky
    Right for years i've said that yes boys and girls can be friends but recently ive had a re-think due to something happening.

    I agree with Vicky tbh. Everyone always says yes until something happens, its just waiting for that something to happen.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The Ladder Theory

    some random guy has decided that is the way it works.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Right here's the score. I'm not gay by the way so no 'he's gay so he's no threat'

    My best friend in the whole wide world is a female & i've known her for about 6 years now & we have been through thick & thin together & always come out stronger on the other side.

    Our relationship is similar to brother-sister. Where I tell her everything & she tells me everything back & we can totally trust each other & know what is said between us won't go any further if we don't want it to.

    She has a b/f & recently I brought a rift between them by sending her some rather saucy txt's when I was under the influence of alcohol but I would've sent them even if I wasn't drunk. Anyway her b/f read the txts & thought that she was straying away when she wasn't & he threated to beat me up cause he thought I was a violent person when i'm totally the opposite & I will only resort to violence in the most extreme circumstances.

    Anyway during this time my friend said how she felt about me & she said she has always fancied me from the start. Although she had been out with my other mate on many occasions probably to get me to notice her or something.

    Anyway the things she said all along I just laughed them off & thought that's just a joke when they are really true. I suppose it was weried that someone actually fancied little ol' me:blush:

    I just said to her that we have got a great foundation for a relationship with the being able to trust & communicate with each other. But I said there was no sexual/attraction/love on my part. But I lied on this case & there really truly is & there is times when I just go off in a world of my own & just think about her.

    So she is lead to believe that she fancies me but I don't feel the same way about her when I really do. She is now back with her b/f & I believe he is a shy sort of mummies boy where my friend is the missing piece in his jigsaw. He has said to her that if she leaves him then he won't be able to live without her & top himself because of it.

    My friend is defiantly not a one man woman where she needs her freedom to go & interact with other males. But her b/f is too pocessive over her & sees me as a major threat. Which is quite true on his part but it's my friends decision whether she stays with him or not.

    Anyway we were just discussing what we are doing for xmas & new years & we suggested that we got out on new years.

    But then she suggested that she would come round to mine & we'll bring the new year in with many drinkies of the alcoholic variety. I mean not spending new years with her b'f is abit wrong in my eyes. Or maybe it's an indication that she wants out of the relationship. So I would love to have her round on new years but then i'm sure things would happen which her b/f wouldn't like in the slightest. So is it abit rude for my friend to cheat on her b/f & get with me instead. Cause i've got nothing to loose but think it's not very nice 2 timing.

    Also, I'd hate for our relationship to change for the worse if things happen.

    So shall I or shan't I:confused:

    .:Crispy:.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    They can. My two examples....

    Example 1-Ive been friends with a guy since year 2 at school. As in we were 7, now 17 and 18, nothing has ever happened. Ever.

    Example 2-I meet guy-1 night thing occurs. Then become friends. Then become close friends. Then become so close that its like were in a relationship in the way that we care for each other etc, always sitting with arms around each other, brief kiss just to the side of mouth when leaving, stuff like that, but we both know that we are ONLY friends. Just very very close. Then he comes onto me and I cannot resist him-I like him for everything that he is, for the type of relationship we have. But it never evolves into a proper relationship.

    So it can work both ways. It just depends what type of friend you are.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    One of my best friends is a straight man... but I think he is attracted to me :eek2:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yep, ive been best mates with someone since we were both little, we've lived on the same road all out lives lol, ok so we went out when we were about six, but like that counts! we are just wkd mates and no way would we ever go out or anything.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    the majority of my best friends are girls, and we get on really well. HOWEVER, there is one that i'm really close to and i suppose we act a bit couply, holding hands and cuddling etc. this is very risky as i ended up sleeping with her the other week. now that really was a head fuck. we're cool though, what happened, happened and now it's in the past. i have to clarify though that there was no sexual attraction between us before, now though, i really don't know. she's on the verge of getting back with her ex boyfriend, who she split up with in april and who's had another girlfriend since then and has got this other girl pregnant. my friend keeps asking me to help her decide whether to get back with him or not. the thing is though is the way she asks me to help her is like she wants me to say don't get back with him like she possibly wants to get together with me. i can't talk to my other friends about the whole thing because it's only the pair of us that know about what happened, but lots of people think that we're together anyway. i dunno what the fuck i'm gonna do. grrr, my life is so fucking complicated sometimes :eek2:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey sprocket im in same situation except that we like eachother more than friends, but not enough to take risk and im a bit pissed off at moment *read my rant in other post*
    and when were together we cant look at eachother straight in the face cause i jsut get awkwad cause i like her so god damn much and we aint done anything cause shes likethe sweetestmost innocent girl ever, only ever done anything with one girl that was forcedupon her, and with her new man who i am liek the last to find out about after a few weeks which is msot annoying thing cause i know the guy and he does deserve her cause hes a great nice caring guy with everything going for him cause hes got a decent job,he good looking,wealthof experience(with both sexes) lives with his mates round the corner from her whilst me imlike a student living away from her,bogged down with work,who aint got too much experience sexuallywhose not so amzing looking and normally antisocial(except to her and close friends)

    *generally feeling liek crap wanting to see dillenger escape plan again soi can mosh and get it out of me*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think they can BUT ...

    ... most boys can't be friends with girls without picturing them naked and just wanting to get into their pants/skirts or whateva

    I'm speaking from xperience (true that)

    it's nice to have 'boy friends' though, they make you laugh and you learn shtuff about boys in general. it's nice to have a boy that you can talk to about anything.

    peace.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well I always thought they could when I was younger, through school most of my mates were male and nothing ever really changed with any of them. But now I'm not to sure, had too many of my male friends try it on lately when I thought they never ever would.

    I think it's a case of how close the friendship is. Think if you're seeing each other every day like in school/work etc then it can stay as a friendship. But absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that shit, seems to be whenever the relationship becomes away from an institute etc then they can't be. If that makes any sense at all.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by honeyB
    ... most boys can't be friends with girls without picturing them naked and just wanting to get into their pants/skirts or whateva

    False to the point of bein offensive tbh.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    no offence
    Originally posted by Chav
    False to the point of bein offensive tbh.

    sorry if offended anyone (Chav) but like I said I was speaking from xperience
    almost all my 'boy friends' have tried that, that's why I said 'most boys ...'

    my apologies 1nce again.

    Peace.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: boy & girl relationships
    Originally posted by Crispy
    Can a boy & a girl have a friends only relationship?

    Or does this eventually end & turn into something more than just friends?

    .:Crispy:.

    in my experience they can be friends only...but at some point some1 fancies the other and vice versa. i have a really good boy mate who i could tell anything to and he could tell anything to me. but early on in the friendship i fancied him (but cudnt say nething because my good mate fancied him) and apparently he fancied me (but cudnt say nething cuz my bf who is his best mate likes me). so then once i stopped liking him my other good mate went out with him. so eventually everything i did feel towards him got all confused and muddled up and i fancy my bf anyway. wow that is a confusing story. but i guess every boy/girl friendship always has the thought of 'what if they liked me' even if you don't acutaly have any feelings towards them.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: no offence
    Originally posted by honeyB
    sorry if offended anyone (Chav) but like I said I was speaking from xperience
    almost all my 'boy friends' have tried that, that's why I said 'most boys ...'

    my apologies 1nce again.

    Peace.

    No need for apologies.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    UM YEAH!!!
    I only have guyfriends now. Recently all of my girlfriends have turned there backs on me due to new boyfriends or have turned lesbian and started to hit on me. I don't care that they have bf's or are lesbians:rolleyes: but I do care when they ditch there bestfriend to act like a dumbass...

    BRING ON THE GUY FRIENDS ;)
    THE MORE THE MERRIER! SORRY GIRLS! :p
    but I guess thats the way its gotta be with me!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I gots a best mate thats a girl, she is like a propper best mate, feel kinda attacted like brother and sister type thing, and am inlove with her, have been since like AGES ago, since i was in year 8 im now 18 and would be in year 13 if i was still at skool... but me and her work as best mates and only that, so sure its possible.
    Just depends how strong the frendship actually is.
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