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im 19....i feel i may have missed out

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
At school i was fairly popular, but i never had a girlfirend, or any kind of contact wiht girls. this continued til last year, where i had a 4 week "thing"with someone which didnt work out ATALL. it got me thinking how much i missed out at school, now that i look back i rember all my friends had girlfriends, and would regail me with tails of their exploits. I never di any of those things.NOw that im 19,at the risk of sounding arrogant,It would be beneath me to have flings and short term relationships.However, it has left me with a feeling of missing out on experiences i should have had when i was younger. I know you might say i have plenty of time to have new experiences, but never will i have that time over to experience things as i should have.I feel empty,in some way, when i speak to people, because i cannot relate to them about sex and relationship issues.All i know is the theroy, ive never taken the practical..... <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    21. nothing so far...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey James!
    I feel exactly the same... I´m 18 and I finished school some months ago...I used to have girlfriends when I was younger but during my secondary school nothing has happened... I´m impressed that this could have happened to other people... I´m a theoric -almost a scholar! (haha)- but I know nothing about the practice.

    That gets me down very often... But I don´t lose hope, I just think that when love comes, it will be great... For me, it´s a mixture of hope and depression... However, I´m sure that regreting about the past is useless...

    Let´s see what the future holds for us!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i know how you feel too James,19 also, although iv had my fair share of relationship experience i resent the fact that it didnt have when i was younger. in particular when i was in the first year of college and all my mates had "serious" relationships and made me feel like a child because i wasnt like them.

    All i can say is that we're supposed to get wiser when we're olderbut it can be more difficult to deal with a relationship the older you were when you started because when you start young you are less self aware and learn to take things easier with your increased expereince at an earlier age. I know thats not much help but it might be nice to know that others know where you're comin from
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am glad I had fun and went out with lots of blokes when I was younger. Sorry, I know that doesn't help but I believe it's good to get it out of your system, no good starting a serious relationship when you haven't um, spread your wings a bit! I have done all the messing around and getting off with random blokes, it doesn't really interest me so much now!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah wow thats a great help thanx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I cant say that I know how you are feeling at the moment in time, but one thing that I do know is that when you do find the right person to experiance it with, you should feel proud of yourself that you have not wasted the experiance by sleeping around with one night stands that dont mean anything to you. I know for a fact that I would be rather impressed to meet a guy like you, and I am sure that the person you first sleep with will see it exactly the same way.. Dont see it as a negative thing, it's quite the opposite, I'm sure that it will happen when the time is right. <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="wink.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="wink.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Who said anything about sleeping around? It is a part of life for most young people to have casual relationships at least for a while. Or do you think that a persons first relationship should be full of meaning and you should stay with that person for life?


    19 isn't too old to do what you want. There is no use regretting what you haven't done in the past, go out and change that now.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No,I don't mean to stay with the same partner for life but I kinda get the impression that its not that easy to "go out and change it" or he would do if he wanted to. It will happen when it happens and as PK says........ if you want it faster go out and change it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dunno if this is gonna help or not but i dint get a "proper" boyfriend until i was 15. Before then i just kinda got off with random guys and had 3 week relationships etc... I know ur 19 so its kinda different but i felt like u did 4 a while wen a lot of my friends had proper boyfriends but when the time is right, whatever is meant to happen will happen. Whether u fall in love, or have a one night stand! Just be patient! Oh yeah, and HAVE FUN!!! <IMG SRC="wink.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im 18 and when i went to school i was the same untill i got into college and i had a 6 month relationship and then a 7 month one aswell. There are good and bad points about it but what you need to do is to go out a bit and meet people that are not your friends and get to know them. ive done that and it has worked ive got loads of friends and loads of women near me so get out more and relax!!!

    you dont need to worry!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    O.k. i'm 27, i was in much the same boat at 20-21. you have absolutly nothing to worry about!! i didn't get into the whole dating thing till i was about 22. but boy did i make up for lost time.

    My advice = stop looking to the past and what you could have done, start looking to the future and the fun your going to have NOW!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i am actually relieved that there are others out there that feel like i do. i am the only virgin out of ALL my m8s. they have all got serious boyfriends and it makes me feel abit empty. they all talk about there relationships and i feel lef out. they all know i am a virgin so i dint have to lie about ne thin which is good, but i still feel like i am missing out on the things they do. i spend most nights sitting in watching tv because my m8s are out with thier boyfriends. i feel happy that my mates have got boyfriends, dont get me wrong, but wish i did too.

    dont worry you arent the only person out there in this situation. infact sometimes it makes me feel special cos id rather my first time be when i am completely ready and i dont feel pressured into doing anything i will later regret.

    im sure things will change and u wont be single 4 eva! at least when love comes your way it will have been worth the wait! <IMG SRC="wink.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There's no point in wallowing over the past....you can't bring it back. look towards the future, and believe me when something new comes along, you'll forget all about it. Take every day as it comes...and if that's of no help...then take consilation in the fact that there is always someone more depressed than you!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my situation isn't the same but similar. i didn't have many boyfriends when i was younger and felt left out. i got a bit lucky last year since i started going out but then i met a lad who is now my boyfriend and we have been going out ages. i love him with all my heart but something inside me thinks, what if we end up getting married etc. I will never had much experience with anyone else. that sometimes makes me feel trapped but i don't want to split up with my boyfriend because i know i won't find anyone else like him.

    i know this has got nothing to do with your question but i just thought i'd put my story in. i'll try think of a solution for you though
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    alrighty then.it would be a very boring world if everybody experienced the same things at the same time.I felt exactly as you did.I was saving myself for the right one and eventually she did come along when I was 23.I didn't want to have a sexual relationship because I was confident enough not to and this in no way ever stopped me from enjoying life to the very full the places I've been and the stuff I've done. I looked upon girls as a nice distraction but as a hindrance to what I wanted to get out of my late teens.Unfortunatly the right girl dumped me last year after 6 years. I wouldn't change my life so far for the world.Look at what you've got and could have, not what you(may have) missed
    Originally posted by jamesyeahbaby:
    <STRONG>At school i was fairly popular, but i never had a girlfirend, or any kind of contact wiht girls. this continued til last year, where i had a 4 week "thing"with someone which didnt work out ATALL. it got me thinking how much i missed out at school, now that i look back i rember all my friends had girlfriends, and would regail me with tails of their exploits. I never di any of those things.NOw that im 19,at the risk of sounding arrogant,It would be beneath me to have flings and short term relationships.However, it has left me with a feeling of missing out on experiences i should have had when i was younger. I know you might say i have plenty of time to have new experiences, but never will i have that time over to experience things as i should have.I feel empty,in some way, when i speak to people, because i cannot relate to them about sex and relationship issues.All i know is the theroy, ive never taken the practical..... <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"></STRONG>
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