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friends using you

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
i think my friends are using me and i don't know what to do.

every lunch time they come and crash round my house, n i don't mind but they expect me to w8 on them hand and foot. They come in and completely take over the place raiding the fridge n playing games on the telly and using the internet.

I probably sound really selfish, but it starting to really piss me off, especially one girl she has been my friend for a while but she really treats me like shit. It's not like i can ditch her (i dont even want to) i just want a little respect and don't expect to have to make them lunch etc every day when we only get 45 mins break.

Also my family isn't exactly made of money (far from it infact) and my mum has a go @ me for lettin them run wild and eat all our food n drink all our drink, but i can't say no coz they're my mates.

Sorry if this sounds like a selfish little moan, i spose it is really.


There's a girl in my mirror
I wonder who she is
Sometimes I think I know her
Sometimes I really wish I did

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Drifter:

    i can't say no coz they're my mates.

    Oh yes you can! But it's hard to say no to people if you're not feeling very confident.

    Had you ever thought about getting some assertiveness training? It would show you how to say 'no' without getting stressed out or upsetting your friends. Saying 'no' sometimes is good for your self-respect, and it means you are less likely to end up in situations where you feel as though people are using you.

    There is probably a course near to where you live, and they are usually free or fairly cheap.

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Is thre anywhere else you could suggest going for lunch? Just for a change <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    You may have to resort to telling them that your parents have said that they'd prefer you not to have people round during the day when they aren't there, I bet your parents would back you up & it's easier to blame it on someone else <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    j9
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You could just make excuses and say you are bored of going to your house and suggest going somewhere else if you don't want to involve your parents. But its perfectly ok to say no to them. Is there any ONE of these friends who you can really talk to? If so maybe she/he can back you up and help decide on somewhere else to go.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    They will show u respect in the long run, if u are firm and say, that can we go somewhere else cause me mum dont like cleaning up after us all, and if they kick up a fuss, then say, well i have the key, so find somewjere else! or talk to ur closest friend and say that i dont like this, if she is a friend she will understand and tell the others.
  • Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Posts: 2,822 Boards Guru
    what everyone's said so far is what id have said if i got here first <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;

    but i think you should say no sometimes, people cant always take take take from you, sometimes you have to draw the line. you DO have the right to say no. sometiems it DOES feel like people are using you and that is the time to say no. you dont have to always do everything for everyone else, you deserve a bit of time to yourself too, sometimes its good to be a bit selfish and be good to yourself instead of just beign good to everyone else and forgetting you need caring about by yourself too.

    and yeah, go about it in one of the various ways thats been suggested that you feel most comfortable with <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    It only takes one tree to make a thousand matches, only takes one match to burn a thousand trees
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you don't sound selfish! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/eek.gif"&gt; I think it's horrible the way your friends are treating. If they make you feel like shit, are they really your friends?? think about this one. Tell them how you feel, see what they say. I know it might be hard, but i think it'll be worth it. Afterall, there's no reason to waste your time on ppl who aren't treating you like you should be treated! Don't let them walk all over you, you have to let them know they CAN'T take advantage of you. If you don't, they wont stop!!
    GOOD LUCK!
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