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why am i feeling like this?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hey everyone,

if you read my last topic, you will know that my ex girlfriend is having a real go at me at the moment and is doing everything she can to destroy me.

when my ex dumped me for someone else in january, it almost completely destroyed me. I was so in love with her, and it killed me, it hurt so much.

I spent the last 3/4 months trying to get over her, and i finally thought i had. Then she comes back into my life trying to destroy me again.

Shes been going on about how she never loved me, and how she was going out with me just for fun. then she goes on about how i messed her around which is why she dumped me.

She then tells me that she slept with her new boyfriend.

My ex is doing her best to destroy me again, and she is doing an exceptionally good job of it.

At school, i've managed to put on a brave face for the last 2 weeks, but its getting too much for me now. I dont think any of my friends have noticed that theres anything wrong with me, although Lucy has shown some concern.

With my ex, i had 4 months of joy, i had never been happier, and since then ive had 3 nearly 4 months of absolute hell.

Why cant i get over her? Why is she doing this to me? Why is she constantly trying to destroy me?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Because as soon as she realised you show no intrest in her again, she wants it. So she does anything, says anything just so you can 'remember' her again. Jeeezus man, show to her that you can live without her and let her get on with her own life, because she is making a mess of yours!!!!

    <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She's gotten me so angry today that i lashed out at those i care about.

    I had a go at them for no reason and now Lucy doesnt want anything to do with me.

    Im such a brilliant person, i've messed things up with lucy, and now she doesnt want anything to do with me.

    Perhaps life isnt worth it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    there you go Dai, some top tips from Deekaholic on how to be a total wanker. dont take any notice, youre lovely as you are, if a bit over emotional at times <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
    your ex sounds like a total bitch and you dont deserve it. we all lash out at the people closest to us sometimes, youre only human. if Lucy is a real friend she will understand.im sure she will come round
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I couldnt sleep last night, so i wrote lucy a letter explaining what was going on.

    I get it to her this morning.

    im sure shes read it, but her and her boyfriend have been glaring at me all day <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Mate, the best thing to do is find stuff that you are interested in, that will take your mind off her. Turn your negativity around and look at it positively, from what u have said she sounds like a real bitch and someone u do not deserve to be with, you sould be happy that you have broken up and u can look forward to finding a girl that will treat you right. I know its hard to ignore her, but try and distance yourself from her. Find another girlfriend, this will really piss her off and will show her you have moved on from her, she will no doubt get really pissed off with this, don't worry about this, it means you have won. Put yourself first, its not worth worrying about chicks that don't treat you right and become bitches after you break up, there is more to life than chicks, you are still young and have a lot left in life.. all the best and i hope u work things out.. just remember theres more to life than chicks, but theres also more fish in the sea!! rover

    sorry i'll try and answer some of your questions too..
    Why is she doing this to me?
    For some reason she likes to see you unhappy, she wants to think that without her you have nothing. By going on with you life and enjoying the things you had before she came along, she will get pissed off with trying to make you feel bad and go away.
    Why is she constantly trying to destroy me?
    By the sounds of it she's trying to make you feel jalous, not destroy you, it seems to be a way at getting back at you for some reason, as i said previously, find someone else or find something that will keep u busy and away from her!!

    Hope this helps.

    [ 10-05-2002: Message edited by: rover ]
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey join the club me and my ex broke up properly at the start of march. We kept arguing and stuff since until i just ignored her and didn't argue anymore so the other day i went to make a call on my mobile when i realise it has been cut off and all calls barred. I had bought the phone off her when we were going out and she had reported it stolen. But instead of starting to argue with her again i just ignored her. Thats what you should really do. I know it is one of the hardest things to do is get over some one you loved but now when you aren't blinded by love take a good look at that person and i bet you will find it hard to believe you ever even cared about her. Good luck
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    the other day (thursday), my ex really got to me and i lashed out at everyone i cared about.

    Lucy thought it was because she had a new boyfriend and now she doesnt want anything to do with me.

    i wrote her a letter explaining why i did it (or at least why i think i did it), and gave it to her on friday with a note asking her not to show anyone else.

    of course, she ignored this and now all her friends know and took the piss out of me on the way home and whats worse, they told some of my mates.

    my mates took the piss out of me when my ex dumped me and that made things alot worse, i didnt want them to know about this because they would do it again, and they have.


    Because of this, i had a real go at Lucy last nite for telling her friends and my friends... she sent me this:
    can i just say this? you are so pathetic. you just jump in without giving me a chance to explain. and the letter thing.... nice try... i almost believed you

    i told her that she shouldnt have told my mates and she sent me this:
    see. you still dont want to hear the truth, and if your going to be like that, get lost. i dont really care anymore. goodbye


    im realy upset because i never meant to lash out at her. i never meant to upset her. i tried to explain and not only didnt she believe me but she embarrased me in front of all my mates.

    i dont know what to do, i still want to be friends with her but if she doesnt believe me, whats the point?

    how can i get her back?

    sorry for the essay. please help.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    in my humble opinion, i think you should try to distaance yourself emotionally from lucy. it sounds like shes trying to distance herself from you, and i think maybe her new boyfriend feels threatened by you, because of your previous friendship with lucy. is their a school counsellor at your school or a youth counseller in your town that you could see. i really think you are trying to help people so much, that their problems are becoming your problems too, and when that happens youre not as much help anymore. you seem to be attracting people who are emotional leeches, and will drain you, then spit you out because you are a caring person. you need to have a bit more respect for yourself, and then people will respect you more.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hon, she just misses the attention. That's what it is, no matter how much she hurts you, pretent it doesn't, and she'll get bored and stop. Give Lucy a bit of time and space,then she'll realise that you were telling the truth and you'll be friends again.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    WHAT YOU NEED TO DO LOVE IS STAY AWAY FROM HER TRUST ME I'VE BEEN THRU IT MY EX WAS VERY VIOLENT TOWARDS ME AND I WAS STUCK AROUNG HIM BECUASE HE LIVED 2 MINUTES AWAY FROM MY HOUSE AND THE ONLY WAY I GOT HIM OUT OF MY LIFE WAS TO START SEEING SOMEONE ELSE (WHICH WASNT THE BEST OF IDEAS) OR KEEP YOURSELF BUSY, I KNOW IT'LL BE HARD AS YOU GO TO THE SAME SCHOOL BUT TRY AND BE POSITIVE ABOUT IT.
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