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Getting over someone you work with :(

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi all,

I think most of you know the situation between me and Jade (angelface17)..

Well over a week ago I decided to chat to her about things and we agreed it wasn't working, too many arguments etc..

Problem is I've been fine most of the time, but last couple of days I've really really missed being with her, it just doesn't feel the same as friends...I don't really know what to do, because I can't get over her while I'm working with her, I'm seriously considering quitting the job because on top of all my other problems at home right now, this is really depressing me..

Anyone got any advice?

Thing is, we get on too well as friends, like more than friends..which leads me back to the start where I fancy her again..I don't really know how she feels although I'm pretty sure she's fine and not really been affected by it that much.

Any help/advice/general chit-chat you can all give would be gratefully appreciated today <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

Thanks loads all of ya,
Phil. <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    its hard trying to get over someone you really cared for but there will be times when you think about her all the time and times when she dont even entre your head you will just have to give it time and maybe stay away from her while you figure out what you want to do.

    have a talk to her maybe she misses you to.

    hope that helped?

    take care it will all be ok in the end
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Quitting your job because of the break up is a huge decision. If ur as depressed as u say then are u sure ur in the best frame of mine to make that decision. If u don't get another job u will be even more depressed and that will lead u to think about her even more ie vicious circle.
    U need to think really hhard and see if there is another option that is less life changing
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you will just have to give it time and maybe stay away from her while you figure out what you want to do.

    Yeah I know, but like I said, I can't..She works with me..Even when she goes back to the other bulding she'll be over Wednesday's and Friday's and that's too much on it's own..It's not I don't want to spend time with her..I really do, I want to, too much..if you get what I mean?
    have a talk to her maybe she misses you to.

    There's no point. She doesn't, she's not the type. Even if she did I will and probaly won't ever know.. I mean we kissed yesterday but it was like a "no strings" kiss which I'm cool with, it didn't really change anything for me, infact, it was good to let some of the physical steam out so I could concentrate on the brain stuff <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

    The impression she gives is that she's over me already, and she's totally fine with what's going on. Maybe it's false, but if it is then she obviously doesn't want me to know how she feels and get back with her. <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
    Quitting your job because of the break up is a huge decision. If ur as depressed as u say then are u sure ur in the best frame of mine to make that decision.

    I see what you mean, but my state of mind isn't going to change while I'm still seeing her, i.e. working here..so I might as well just quit and get it over with.

    I'm quite well experienced on my apprenticeship anyway so I should get another job, if not i'll take my parttime bar job to full time.
    U need to think really hhard and see if there is another option that is less life changing

    Any suggestions? <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

    Thanks for your input guys, it does really help just to know people understand.

    Speak again soon I hope,
    Phil. <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Eh, you kissed her yesterday although it was a no strings kiss !!!

    Listen Phil, she's either interested or she's not, she can't go round kissing you and expecting you to back off knowing how you feel about her, it's not fair.

    The fact she kissed you says to me that she obviously does feel something, but what ?

    No point being all pathetic about it, get to the bottom of how she sees things between you and stick to it. If she wants to have a casual relationship with you and you're happy with that then fine, if she doesn't want to see you outside of work then tell her to stop toying with your emotions.

    It doesn't paint a very nice picture of her to behave this way with you.

    As for quitting your job, don't bother, you can't run away from a situation like this, you've got to move on and deal with it in your head and that's that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It wasn't like that, we were messing about and flirting (as we do) and I was making jokes about all the strings around her, then when we were messing about again later on I said something like "you owe me a kiss anyway" and she was like "ok but no strings look"..I dunno.

    We are really, really, close..we just seem to connect and understand each other and no matter how much we argue we know we're there for each other if we need it.

    I don't know how she feels for me. To be honest, she gives the impression she doesn't give a toss, but sometimes it seems deep and more than that...I really don't know..Either way, she said she doesn't want a relationship (She has said this from the start pretty much) But we just keep on going back to each other, there must be a reason for this?

    I don't even know what I want anymore, when I'm with her I get stressed out and we have petty arguments, something I want to change and try to work out..not abandon I guess?

    Phil.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It wasn't like that, we were messing about and flirting (as we do) and I was making jokes about all the strings around her, then when we were messing about again later on I said something like "you owe me a kiss anyway" and she was like "ok but no strings look"..I dunno.

    We are really, really, close..we just seem to connect and understand each other and no matter how much we argue we know we're there for each other if we need it.

    I don't know how she feels for me. To be honest, she gives the impression she doesn't give a toss, but sometimes it seems deep and more than that...I really don't know..Either way, she said she doesn't want a relationship (She has said this from the start pretty much) But we just keep on going back to each other, there must be a reason for this?

    I don't even know what I want anymore, when I'm with her I get stressed out and we have petty arguments, something I want to change and try to work out..not abandon I guess?

    Phil.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In typical Loopi stylie I'm not all that sure how much my input in this is going to help but I will do my best. I vaguely remember reading a thread a while back by the two of you regarding the difficult situation that she was in and therefore that getting together would be really difficult. Have I missed something between then and now because as the time it didn't seem that there was any real way that you two could be together whilst she was still living at home ... if this is the case then just point me in the direction of the correct threads and I will read tham later.

    It does seem that the two of you 'connect' really well and that you could have a really good and lasting friendship. Some couples are just supposed to be friends without all of the physical stuff to muck things up. You were there for her when she needed you and obviously it seemed a natural progression for the two of you to get together. However .... it didn't last .... but surely you don't just want to throw away your friendship because of this. It seemed like you had something really good beforehand.

    I honestly don't think that quitting your job will help matters at all. Fair enough it may take her out of your sight for a while but trust me, she'll always be there in your head and it may take time for you to sort that out. You need to accept the fact that she's moved on ... and if it helps, tell her that you can't really deal with talking to her at work right now. I'm sure that she'll understand why and will do her best to make the break-up easier for you.

    I hope that eventually the two of you can be friends but in the meantime you just need a bit of space. Out of interest, could you not just take a couple of weeks of work/phone in sick/whatever?

    I think that I may just have waffled a load of shite at you but I truly hope that things work out for the best.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    OK then stop flirting and paying her attention, if she is interested then she will ask why it's all stopped. If she isn't then it will stop altogether.

    Either way you get your answer !
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Loopi..that would make sense, but we were together before the problems etc so it didnt progress to that..it was already that then all the problems came etc.

    <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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