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the dream

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ever since I was really young, I’ve had the dream of growing up, getting married to a lovely guy and having children. But I was just struck with the thought: what If i never find someone that I want to spend the rest of my life with?

Everyone says, you’ll find someone, but what if I don’t? What if no one appreciates me for who I am? It happens to some people. God, I always thought I would get married and that would be it. But it’s like, so not that simple! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/eek.gif"&gt;

And anyway, why am I even thinking about getting married? I’m only 17, it’s really stupid, I just like to have everything mapped out, and I hate not knowing where I am going in life! I guess this is one thing I will just have to leave.

Oh my god, this sounds really freaky. I don’t know why I’m even posting this. I suppose I just had an insecurity attack for a minute there.

And just out of curiosity - what is the youndest age you have known anyone to get married, and did it work out for them?

If the sky that we look upon
should tumble and fall
or the mountains should crumble in the sea
I won't cry, I won't cry,
No, I won't shed a tear
Just as long as you stand
Stand by me


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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well i know this is going back a LONG way but hey u asked! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; my grandma met my grandad when she was 16 (he was 24) and she got engaged 2 him, he worked at sea so about 2 weeks after they got engaged he went to sea 4 1 year! but he wrote 2 her everyday. they got married when she was 18 and it lasted up until 1991 when he died.

    if i were u i wouldnt worry 2 much some people meet their soul mate young and some people dont. i thought like u i was never gonna meet any1 but then 1 day jamie walked into my life and that was it we clicked. about7/8 months after we got 2gether he proposed! i said yes and that was it! we have no immediate plans or ne thing but it is there we will get married - some day.

    dont worry u will meet some1 who appreciate u!
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    Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Posts: 2,822 Boards Guru
    who says you have to meet just one person anyway? i dont know if i believe in relationships and love lasting forever. people change too much, someone who is right for you at the age of 16 may not be right for you by the time you get to 18, for example. (as in my case). and then you might find someone whos perfect for you at one point, but who isnt later on, for whatever reason.

    my mum didnt have me until she was 29, i cant imagine id want to have children much before then, possibly later. i want to have a career and well, a life, first of all. i dont really have a grand plan, i cant imagine thinking about being married at this age, it would be a nightmare to me. my friends got engaged after being together for 4 months when they were only 16/17, and that was a mistake. they only did it coz the girl awanted some security and didnt trust the bloke, he did it to please her and get her into bed! (they both insist otherwise, but...) .. theyve broken up so many times,and got back together, and even when i thought it was finally it, after 5 weeks they were togheter again and she still isnt free of him, i think she might be about to get back togeher with him <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt;

    anyway thats not really the point. her parents got engaged/married (cant remember) at 18 and theyre still together now. it can happen i think. i think you just have to go through life, meeting people and working out if youre compatible for a relationship, i guess its all about timing as well, you might realise you want to be with one person so much you move in with them, and you both feel its the right timee to get engaged or something.

    to be honest i dont know what im talkign about anymore, ive kind of lost the plot a bit! i guess you just have to take life day by day and not worry about mrriage and that kinda stuff just yet drifter. just concentrate on being happy and finding someone if you want them in the here and now.

    ill shut up now before i make even less sense.

    It only takes one tree to make a thousand matches, only takes one match to burn a thousand trees
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dont even know if i ever want to get married i mean i say id marry a lot of people because i suppose im not really that fussy.

    If someone is a nice bloek and im attracted to them and they treat me ok well then fine.

    I think out of all the people ive ever been out with there is one who i would definitely marry, he was just a really nice guy, he was called chris a bit of a **** as in smokes weed does pills and used to nick cars to come and see me, but as far as it went as in treating me and looking after me he was an absolute diamond, we broke up when he went to livein wales because he had a warrant out for him but i loved him soo much and still sort of do but not in a oh i miss you sort of way cos i got over it,

    but i dont know i suppose just because hes the only nice guy ive been with who hasnt been using me or anything and he always went out of his way to do things for me and to come and see me,

    but then again i dont like the idea of being stuck with someone and having that tie therem but i dont know,

    im also not sure if i really want kids, i would if the guy was helping me out, when i see myself in the future though i dont see my self with a guy i sort of see myself in a house somewhere with my best m8 and a kid thats mine and me and her looking after it, and her having various gfs and me having various ermm gfs or bfs, not that i would shove it in my kids face if i did.

    Wow im doing what everyone else has done got way carried away about something i shouldnt even b thinking about and i think ive made this all sound really dumb now.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I always wanted to get married (I've never wanted kids though!) but now I'm not so sure.

    The thing about marriage is that I feel it should last forever because it's an eternal kinda thing. Maybe that's an old fashioned view but hey! Anyway, I guess I'd always be scared that, however much I believed I loved my husband, someone else may come along and then I'd realise that this thing with my husband wasn't true love and I'd made a mistake.

    I'm also not sure how I'd feel about the marriage vows. I'm a Christian - of sorts - but I couldn't promise to do some of the things that are included in the marriage ceremony. I'd have to take a different version of the vows at a registery office or something, like my mum did (cos she's an agnostic).

    Wow! This topic is so easy to get carried away on isn't it?! I didn't realise! Anyone else who's gonna reply - be warned!

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Marriage does not appeal to me. I don't like commitment all that much, and I don't like making decisions (being the libra that I am), and marriage is the greatest of all commitments and decisions.

    Lee: you never cease to amaze me. You're the only person who can say "i broke up with my bf cos he was a wanted criminal" AND i believe you! jeash!

    Cos i'm thinking about a brand new hope, one i've never known, and where it goes, cos now I know it's all that wanted.
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    Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Posts: 2,822 Boards Guru
    oh i also feel the marriage vows, some of them at least, are a load of poo. whoever says theyre gonna obey their husband now, in the 21st century ffs?! id never say that if i did get married, id have to change the vows or something. although of course if i did have a church wedding id be a massive hypocrite coz i dont believe in god as such, im not gonna go deepyl into my beliefs here lol, i was christened as a child and went to church school, but im pretty lapsed, as i dont even believe in god in the way of christianity anymore!!

    i keep replying, i cant help myself!!

    It only takes one tree to make a thousand matches, only takes one match to burn a thousand trees
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