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Unwanted

I feel as if my mates dont care about me. I feel as if whenever i try to ask for help i get blown off. I dnt have many people who i can talk to and they seem to be running away from me. avoiding me. Ive been through i tough time lately and ive been literally crying out for help. i dnt do it in a attention seeking way. ive started cutting up again and its scareing me. they seem to be getting deeper and deeper every time. i keep them well hidden cos i dont want people to know. Ive started a course of anit depressants but they dont seem to be doing anything. i really dont know what to do. Im getting serious thoughts of suiside and its frightening me how vivid they are. I feel sick all the time. ive tried so hard to talk to my so called mates but none of them listen. i went round to one of their houses a while ago cos i really needed some advice or even just someone to listen to me, but he ended up inviting 2 other people who take up all the attention. when they are there i seem to get shut out. i always get left out of every thing, they dont even think of inviting me to stuff. even if its just to hang out. im always trying to meet up and do stuff but they are always to busy for me. i feel as if i have to book an appointment with them. and its not just one of them, and he knows who he is, but its all of them.
Im just so lonely. Maybe i should just end it, no one would notice. i bet if i did die it would take them weeks to figure out i'd gone.
Beep boop. I'm a bot.

Comments

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i'm sure someone would notice. look. your friends are going to let you down from time to time. once in a while it might feel like all the time. make new ones if the old ones keep blowing you off.

    i don't pretend to know everything. most of what i've learned comes from my family. maybe you should talk to yours. yeah, they might freak out a bit, but it beats having to wait your turn with your buddies.

    don't do anything dumb. take care of yourself. take things a day at a time and if that doesn't work go one hour at a time if you have to. just keep going. it's tough and lots of the time it sucks.

    hope things work out for you. if you need to chat or something then drop me a line.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Did your mate know you were going around to talk about your problems, if not, then you can't blame them for not knowing and inviting friends around.
    As you're depressed at the moment, you're going to see everything negatively. Things like your life in general, the way your friends are apparently behaving, and the way your family and friends seem to think of you. They haven't changed, you have. You're just on a downer at the moment. But they pass. Just feels shitty while you're there.
    Yes, they would miss you. Why do you think they wouldn't.

    Mr_Wobble ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    aw hun. Have u tried telling your mates how down u are? Then they'd realise what they are doing and stuff, if u dont tell them they wont realise. Tell one of them. Im sure once they know everything will change. Hope you ok. x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know that they have been avoiding me. one of them came out right and told me he was. And that hurts.
    i really do think that they wouldnt notice. i didnt call them for a while to see how long it would take them to notice and it got up to 2 weeks and i gave in cos i was so withdrawn.
    I dnt go to school with them so im not part of their everyday lives.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i really dont know what to say hun. sorry. x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Mabye they're just avoiding you because they sense you're depressed at the moment, and don't know how to deal with it and you. Bummer, if that's the case.
    I don't know what to suggest. Just keep trying to see them. Maybe even tell them you need to talk. You may want to talk, but do you actually tell them you want to?

    Mr_Wobble ;)
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    ClaireBearClaireBear Deactivated Posts: 467 Listening Ear
    Hiya Zella,
    *Big hugs*
    It sounds like you've been having a really tough time recently and I know that you're feeling totally down and totally alone. If you don't feel you can talk to a friend or a family member about your situation and how you feel you can contact Samaritans.

    Their services are for anyone who feels emotionally distressed and you can get in contact with them in any way you feel comfortable, be it by phone (08457 909090), in person or by email.

    I realise you're having to cope with a lot at the moment, but there really are people out there who care and can help.

    More hugs and lots of them,
    CB
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Unwanted

    If you have just started taking the anti depressants you wont feel the effect straight away, they can take up to six weeks to actually kick in, so dont panic about them not working.
    Friends sometimes just dont know what to say, its a hard thing for some people to talk about. Maybe they feel like they are not helping you so rather than upset you its easier for them to keep away that way they dont have to deal with it themselves.
    I would listen to ClaireBear and give the Samaratins a ring, just have a talk with them. You dont have to give your name and they are such good listeners, they really are a good source for people who feel like they are alone. They also may have contact numbers for your area if you wanted to talk to someone nearer to you.
    Dont sit and dwell on things there alone because as you sit alone and bottle things up it tends to make you feel 10 times worse. Even by talking here it will help you get stuff off your chest and hopefully you wont feel as alone as you have been.
    If you are feeling suicidal then I think it may be a good idea to go back and see your doctor, he may refer you to a psychiatric nurse who can be a vital help to someone like you. These are basically just someone who will listen to you, let you talk about stuff and maybe get to the root of your problem.

    I hope you go and get some help, really you can start feeling better but its jut gonna take a bit of time :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd agree with some of the others and say your mates probably don't know how to deal with it and maybe they do think you are attention seeking a bit. You're still at school and people that age don't want to get dragged into deep issues like you seem to have.

    I'd suggest when you go out with your mates have a good time and leave your problems at home. At your age IMO (i'm guessing your under 16) your mates will have little or no advice for you anyway and issues like you seem to have need to be talked over with someone a little older (samaritans, thesite, parents/family). So give the samaritans a call and leave your problems away from your mates and in time I think things will start to get better.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Heya, thanks for all the great advice youve all given me, i really apreshiate(sp) it.
    i've made an oppointment with my docter for friday.

    Oh and lickalotapuss, im 17 and ive finished school and college, its just my mates are in the year below me not that much younger, just i was put in the wrong year at school.

    i tried talkign to one of my mates last night and cos i found it hard to tell her i asked her to read this. and she stated havign a go at me saying she was really insulted by what i said. tbh i cant understand how she managed to twist it into making it about her, but i guess its just one of those things that i will never understand.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Forgive my ignorance if if I've missed something here, but what about your parents? Or if not your parents, close relatives or siblings? Everyone feels lonely every so often (I do now when I'm away from my girlfriend) but nobody is alone. Believe it or not, there are some genuine people out there who want to help those in need, and starting with the Samaritans is certainly a good idea. But if I was feeling that low I'd want someone closer like my mum or dad but usually I'd talk to my gf.

    And another thing. Isn't a sad sign of the times when somebody as young as 17 thinks about ending their life?

    Good luck Zella and remember there is always someone thinking of you. You do have a place in the world and you are wanted, don't forget that. ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Unwanted
    Originally posted by Zella
    I feel as if my mates dont care about me. I feel as if whenever i try to ask for help i get blown off. I dnt have many people who i can talk to and they seem to be running away from me. avoiding me. Ive been through i tough time lately and ive been literally crying out for help. i dnt do it in a attention seeking way. ive started cutting up again and its scareing me. they seem to be getting deeper and deeper every time. i keep them well hidden cos i dont want people to know. Ive started a course of anit depressants but they dont seem to be doing anything. i really dont know what to do. Im getting serious thoughts of suiside and its frightening me how vivid they are. I feel sick all the time. ive tried so hard to talk to my so called mates but none of them listen. i went round to one of their houses a while ago cos i really needed some advice or even just someone to listen to me, but he ended up inviting 2 other people who take up all the attention. when they are there i seem to get shut out. i always get left out of every thing, they dont even think of inviting me to stuff. even if its just to hang out. im always trying to meet up and do stuff but they are always to busy for me. i feel as if i have to book an appointment with them. and its not just one of them, and he knows who he is, but its all of them.
    Im just so lonely. Maybe i should just end it, no one would notice. i bet if i did die it would take them weeks to figure out i'd gone.



    I may not know you, but I would notice that you were gone and I care. I have been having a bit of the same feelings and thoughts as you have been lately, but please, please try to hang in there.

    I think that maybe trying to make new friends or talking to your parents could be useful, but only if you feel that you could trust in telling your parents and if you feel comfortable making new friends.

    PM me if you want because I do understand your thoughts and feelings and such because I have been there and still deal with it a lot and maybe, just maybe, I could help you some along the way.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    awww, im guessing that they are just confussed how to act with you beeing all depressed and shit, they just want you to get on with it yourself and hope for the best... and as for the cutting stop it please, its no way out, we've all been there before and its not an answer to anything and it just hurts yourself and the people around you that care for you, as im sure your friends do.
    but heres a hug from me *Huggs*
    hope yopu feel better zella, shit patches happen in life jsut gotta take it in ya stride and chin up :) *playfully nudges u on the chin*
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