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Messed up Mate

BillieTheBotBillieTheBot 🤖Posts: 8,660 Automated Account
I'm so fucking angry @ the mo. One of my mates has totally changed in2 this weird bitch. I know that sounds harsh but shes changed 4 the worse mainly since we started college.

I've known her ever since Yr7, so about 5yrs now. Shes always been one of those ppl who lies 2 try & impress other ppl.

I don't wanna go in2 it 2 much but when we were about 13 she made up a story that her cousin & uncle had sexually abused her. We (meaning me & my other close mates from school) found out a few months later she'd lied about it & it took us a few months 2 actually semi-trust her again.

Then a yr later she made up one of my other mates Dads had touched her up. My mates Dad is such a lovely guy & wouldn't ever do ne thing like that. When questioned about it she kept changing her story & in the end said she woz pissed so it might not of actually happened.

She lost a lot of mates through this but me being the stupid one stuck by her as well as comforting my mate whos Dad woz 'supposedly' supposed 2 of done this.

Ne way, things calmed down as we went in2 our last 2 GCSE yrs. I thought she was finally realising how stupid she was being & that ppl didn't give a toss about how far she'd gone sexually or that she needed 2 be centre of attention all the time.

I didn't c her in the summer hols as she spent all the time wit her bf. Fair enough. She was the one that lost out.

Now we've started college. I hardly c ne of my mates much ne more. We're all doin different courses etc so we try & meet up as much as possible @ w/ends & in our free time. She doesn't @ all. Most of my other mates have basically said 'fuck her she can't be arsed 2 make the effort why should we.'

In some ways i agree wit them but me being the stupid, caring person always txt her & fones her. I know i shouldn't bother coz she only seems 2 talk 2 me when shes got a problem wit her bf or isn't seeing him.

Sorry this is so long but i just wanna get it all out.

Ne way, she lost her virginity @ the age of 14 to the guy shes still wit now, i respect her 4 that but ever since she started sleeping wit him shes said once every 2/3months that she thinks shes pregnant but then surprise, surprise she never is.

At 1st we were all sympathetic & we all even chipped in 2 buy her a pregancy test when she couldn't afford one. But then after about the 8th time it was getting stupid.

A few weeks ago however, she came over 2 me @ college & said she needed 2 speak 2 me. I went out of the way of the ppl i woz wit so we could chat & she told me she not only thinks shes pregnant but she knows as the doc confirmed it.

She said she was keeping it & her bf was staying wit her but she hadn't told her Mum yet & asked me if i'd tell her Mum wit her 4 moral support. I was a bit shocked. She only turned 16 in July & her bf is nearly 18 but i thought fair enough.

Then 2day i saw her bf, he goes 2 the same college but is in the yr above. I said congratulations etc & he just grunted & walked off. I ran after him & asked him wot was the matter.

He then told me him & my mate have split up coz she lied. He wouldn't tell me wot about though.

I found my mate & asked her wot woz goin on & she confessed everything 2 me. She'd said she was pregnant 2 try & keep her bf coz she thought he was goin off her but he found out coz he found her diary & read about it.

Then she started crying saying shes lost him 4 good, blah blah blah. Thing is she has no mates left (well except me) but i'm not even sure if i wanna be her mate. The last 5yrs wit her have been up & down like a rollercoaster & shes lied soooo many times & hurt so many ppl.

Then when she started seeing her bf about a yr & a half ago she dumped all of her mates ne way.

Thing is she wants me 2 support her but i don't think i can. I'm really worried that she will do summat stupid if i don't though. Shes hardly spoken 2 me till now & i'm expected 2 be there 4 her when shes in the wrong. Her (ex) bf is a decent bloke & didn't deserve it. Shes been like it all her life & i want her 2 get help....i dunno if i can be the one 2 give her that help though.

Well hopefully sum of u are still reading this, i'm sorry it was so long winded etc but i'd really like sum feedback & comments no matter if they're good or bad. Cheers.
Beep boop. I'm a bot.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well first of all your mate is bloody lucky she has a REAL GOOD mate like you, they are very hard to find. i think personally you should sit down & have a chat with her & tell her how much it upsets you that she lies about things & that you think she should get help for her "compulsive lying". she obviously has an underlying problem for her to feel the need to lye about everything. Tell her that you are willing to help her as long as she is willing to help herself.
    I dont really know what to say other than that but goo luck whatever you do.

    <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    just gonna say same as tweety did really, and very true too. you sound like a really nice person, she clearly needs a good talkin to, and for better or worse you've got to be the one to do it. bon chance!!

    "we have intercourse in every direction" - Karl Marx, The Communist Manifesto (honest!!)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You deserve A LOT of credit for even considering standing by her, she's been a complete and total cow, and some of the things that she's said have, quite honestley, been sick.

    If I was you (which I'm not obviously), I would tell her she HAS to change, and change drastically. Make no bones about it, make it clear that this is her last chance to be someone likeable, and if she fucks it up again thats it. Her incentive at the end of the day is your freindship, and if she fucks it up again, then she aint worth it.

    Good luck

    Brian



    Mama I love you, Mama I care.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It sounds to me that your so called mate needs professional help. I think there has to be something psychologicaly(sp)wrong for her to make up storys about being abused and stuff.
    Could you not talk to her parents about your worry's and see that they get her professional help.
    You seem to me to be a really good mate and although your mate has treated you like shit your still willing to stick by her. I think if you didnt you wouldnt have written this topic as you would have given up on her already.
    I think you will feel alot worse if you don't help your mate than if you do.
    But like the other two said you need to tell her your concerns and let her know that she can't keep taking the piss.

    Good Luck
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This is a common problem from what I have experianced. A couple of my mates have done this and you are never shure if they are telling the truth or not. She is stupped to act like this, It sounds as if she has some bloody good friend and you are one of them. Mates can be stuppid, I know that it hurts when your mates lie and you dont know what to do. You have to have a mayor think about this. Many people would find it difficult to trust or speak to the person ever again.

    Well good luck and I hope you make the right decision.

    dazed and confused
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Cheers 4 all the feedback guys.

    Both her & her (ex) bf weren't in college 2day, 2 be honest i didn't think they would be & i doubt she will be 4 a while.

    I'm gonna talk 2 her. I just gotta think how 2 say it 2 her.

    I'm getting a bit of support from other ppl i know who don't know her which is helping. One guy in my tutor saw i woz looking down & we had a real nice chat bout it. I trust him not 2 say ne thing 2 ne one else as well.

    I've also talked 2 my bf about it, at first he went mental about it. (He's met her & her bf briefly once) but after he calmed down he told me basically wot u lot have told me & said he'd help me 2 *try* & sort her out etc.

    Its good 2 know i have other ppl on my side, it doesn't make it as hard <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    Thanx again
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Good luck, let us know how you get on.
    <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
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