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Sexuality

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
We've got some new articles on sexuality, exploring it, myths and dealing with your mate coming out...
Bisexuality: common misconceptions - Confused? You don't have to be http://www.thesite.org.uk/relationships/lovelife/bisexuality_common_misconceptions.html

When a friend comes out - They're gay, now what do you say or do? http://www.thesite.org.uk/relationships/lovelife/when_a_friend_comes_out.html

The wrong label - When you change your mind http://www.thesite.org/relationships/lovelife/the_wrong_label.html

Exploring your sexuality - Where do I start? http://www.thesite.org/relationships/lovelife/exploring_your_sexuality.html

Anyone want to share their experiences? Talk on here...

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Howdy folks <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;

    I cant believe I am typing this as it is such a red face for me, but I do think that it has got something to do with sexuality.

    I know that I am not gay, I am anything but gay. The reason I know this is that I have a big brother that is gay. I love him to pieces though as hes a great best friend as well as my big brother.

    My problem is that when I am out at clubs, having a shimmy to the funky dance floor beats, some guy will come up and tell me that he thinks I look gay!! He doesnt even know me or anything, just assumes it as I seem to look it.

    This has happened to me about six times with guys now. Am not bothered about guys(I think to myself that they are just jealous) but now some girls have said it, and when I ask them they say its because of my hair, dress sense just my whole image makes them think I look gay(one said I was too handsome to be straight). It also doesnt help when I was at my works night out and I get chatted up by the gay bouncer who chased me all night, asking "can you give me a private dance" and "just one kiss please", he then had the cheek to give me his phone number. (which I threw in the bin as soon as I got outside the club)

    My questions are;

    1. What does a "gay" person look like to everyone? (so I can maybe change my image a bit!)
    2. Has any other guys had the unfortunate incident that I have been experiencing(please let there be another one, I dont want to be the only guy suffering from this!!)

    Change the F with the w and you have got me in one <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif"&gt;

    [This message has been edited by wuckfit (edited 18-10-2001).]
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    wuckfit! chill out! everyone at my collage think i'm gay. I'm bloody not! i have a girlfriend whom i love and have been with for over a year. I have no problem with gays, im not hommophobic. In fact gay peeps are great fun to be with. If you know in your heart you're not gay you're not. And even if you decide that you are, its no big deal. The only people that will point and laugh are the ones who are too immature to understand, those who have two inch dicks, coz its mostly lads. I dont think you're gay mate. Otherwise you wouldn't have posted here.
    And dont change your image mate. Its what makes you you

    [This message has been edited by w0lf (edited 18-10-2001).]
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ok i got a sexuality query. right im really not a lesbian- far from it. 2 of my m8s r lesbians and theyve both told me that they fancy me...and i dunno wat 2 do. its so awkward wen we see each other.
    why are men so attracted to lesbians, i dont understand. i dnt fancy gay men or feel an attraction or anything.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Men are bessoted by lesbians as they have never seen the real life lesbians. All men or most of them think that lesbians are like the ones in the pornos, basically blonde, big tits and a fine body.

    When in real life lesbians are butch mutha fackers that could kick me in easy. They can easily be mistaken for men. As my big bro is gay I have been to a few gay clubs and pubs and every single lesbian I have seen, I have mistaken them for a man as they have short hair and dress like men. Dont get me wrong there are the very few out there that do still look feminine. But nothing like the ones in the porn industry.

    If you were to show most men real life lesbians they wouldnt have the same interest as they do now!!

    No offense to any lesbains meant, but its the truth. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    Change the F with the w and you have got me in one :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i've had a few mates (who are gay) fancy me. Best thing to do is tell it to them: Dont get too close or our friendship is on the rocks. Lad like the lesbos for the above reasons btw..

    the perception of reality, is as perceptive as reality itself
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Stop dancing to Y.M.C.A.!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ya cheeky monkey!!!! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif"&gt;

    Change the F with the w and you have got me in one :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

    Well usually the give-away signs are;-

    Good dress sense, being up-to-the-minute on the latest fashions.

    Good grooming, being clean-cut or highly stylised in the hair dept.

    Tone of voice, y'all know what I mean.

    Having no shame at all in social situations.

    O' course this is all stereotyping and is no real guide, but do you fit into the above??
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The first 2 yes I do fall into that, as I do keep up to date with fashion I shop at FCUK, Jigsaw, H+M, Reiss and the other fashion shops and I do style my hair. But my hair is only short jet black hair messed up in a spikey design.

    My tone of voice is nothing like a gay persons and I do have shame when I go out, I havent got enough confidence when I do go out and try and meet ladies, but am working on that.

    Change the F with the w and you have got me in one :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Firstly Susie & thesite congrads for bisexuality issue, I wish this had been made a few years back when I was having my problems cause this would of been something to show my mates to settle their concerns...

    I just thought I'd add to what you said:

    Bisexuals have to like both men and women equally

    Definatly wrong, in my case I prefer girls but there are guys I do fancy or am attracted to in an unusual way. Sometimes this happens if they are good looking and I figure/or find out they are gay and then this strange magnetism draws me towards them.

    There are days where I think about guys and think 'ughh' what do I see in it all and others where I am more strongly drawn to them than to girls. It seems to change from day to day.

    Bisexuals are promiscuous, they can't hold down a committed monogamous relationship

    I am one of the only of my UK friends who doesn't cheat on their partner, I don't believe in it and won't do it. Doesn't matter what sex they are I just don't agree with it.

    Its hard going into a straight relationship, you try wanting to be honest to your partner and the second you mention your sexuality they start thinking your going to cheat on them or are off-put by your past or afriad your going to walk out to someone of the same sex. Its not easy, people judge you before they know you and thats difficult.

    Bisexual people are just playing around, they can choose to be straight

    Its definatly not that easy, your in a room with a load of people who asume your straight and they start with all the 'gay' pisstaking and you feel uncomfortable or sometimes your in a club dancing and theres this person you really like and your attracted to but they are straight...

    Its a strange situation to be in, I find I have difficulty feeling as if I belong to something but can fit in almost anywhere...

    Bisexual people are just denying that they are gay

    I'm wondered about this before, its definatly a hard thing to get through your head that you like both sexes and even harder for other people to accept it.

    I've tried living as just gay but that didn't work and visa-versa, I'm still now finding it difficult to accept sometimes and relationships can be a nightmare. Gay people view you as straight and straight people as gay, your love-life becomes the topic of all your mates and theirs... its certainly not easy...

    But that despite all that I prefer to label myself as 'open-minded' or as just 'myself' cause I don't believe in all these sexuality boundries and one-sex type clubs, I prefer the attitude where everyone gets on regardless of what colour/nationality/sex/sexuality orientation and don't want any special treatment...

    I read in a recent book that sexuality is determined at birth and results from how late the male cromosone (sp?) is pumped through the featus, the later the more likely the person will be gay... its determined by how much the persons brain is wired to the opposite sex (the more femanine etc.) and that until christianity washed through society it wasn't a closet/tabbo subject...

    Julius Ceasur was once commented as being; "every womans man and every mans woman"

    gay/bisexual people have not just started appearing and nor do they choose what they are, scientific proof states that it is determined from birth.... <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just another day at the office <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
    Cheers
    Susie <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ive read through the articles on being bi, and I must say it is very good. But then I read what Justin Creddible had to say <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; And I have to admit it - he was dead right!

    Gay people see you as straight, straight people see you as gay, and your love life becomes the topic of conversation for everybody.

    Bi people have been around for years, but society hasnt been ready for us until recently, but I still get bad responses when I tell people. It makes you feel like an outcast sometimes. I'm just glad that people are coming round and accepting that not everyone in this world has the same views on life.



    Luv Chelle xXx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    OK I'm Gay, but that just means U fancy men, don't it. I've got the voice for it (really scary if its being recorded, i sound like a chipmunc whose sucked up a gallon of helium)
    But I'm not really the stereotypical gay. I'm fat and not very well groomed for one thing, and terrible at being a good friend, but what i say is, have fun, be who U wanna be, don't sweat it and always use a condom (for one thing it's less messy)

    You messin wi' me pal????
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Justin Credible:
    Firstly Susie & thesite congrads for bisexuality issue, I wish this had been made a few years back when I was having my problems cause this would of been something to show my mates to settle their concerns...

    I just thought I'd add to what you said:

    Oh aggreed - I had a really rough time, especially cos I ended up with this guy at a party one weekend, mashd my head alitle, went into high school the next monday and bam.

    "did you sleep with such and such friday night - ee ah mate d'ya wanna suck my cock - you f*ing queer' - not only had a 'friend' betrayed me the whole school new - damn near ruined my life!!
    Bisexuals have to like both men and women equally

    Definatly wrong, in my case I prefer girls but there are guys I do fancy or am attracted to in an unusual way. Sometimes this happens if they are good looking and I figure/or find out they are gay and then this strange magnetism draws me towards them.

    It changes from day to day with me - somedays I cant stop thining bout blokes, some days i cant stand the thought.
    There are days where I think about guys and think 'ughh' what do I see in it all and others where I am more strongly drawn to them than to girls. It seems to change from day to day

    There are days I make myself sick cos of waht I am, and there are days I just havent wanted to get out of bed becasue of it. It turned me to drink amongst other things, (like mind less ungratifying sex with people i want attacted to ) and ruined my self confidence and esteem.
    Bisexuals are promiscuous, they can't hold down a committed monogamous relationship

    I cant - I have a problem with commitment, but thats NOTHING to do with the fact im Bi - is not that I cant be with a woman or a man and have to change, its cos im scared of getting hurt again.

    I have had problems with my past girlfrinds - diddnt tell one and she walked out on me when she found out, one of the plus points is that im pretty upfrount anyway, so most girls know.

    Bisexual people are just playing around, they can choose to be straight

    mmmm . Nope - you think if I could i woulnt right now - Its been a hard slog, and i can only just start to deal with it.

    Bisexual people are just denying that they are gay

    Mmm - - thought about it - but I like women too much!

    Justin Credible is righ about the fact taht Gay see u as streight and st8 see u as Gay. I have been labled wanne be fag by certain gay peoople i know - You dont fit in to any particular scene, and its a nightmare, im lucky i always have my friend the bottle :-)



    --
    concentirc_circles

    Sex is the only liquid center at the great Newberry Fruit of friendship. - Jilly Cooper 1937 -
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