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relationship issues....

Ok, this is going to be long... right, in may, my boyfriend of 11 months and i split up. He then started seeing my best friend (they were at it behind my back), AND slept with me twice, whilst telling me that i shouldn't tell her because she'd be pissed off with him... well, i told her and she stopped whatever was happening with him. They started 'officially' going out, but while she was on holiday we slept together and started having a 'thing'. They broke up (not because of us, she doesn't know about that), and he and i started seeing each other (i.e. not a real relationship, but with more commitment than just sleeping together).
I went to Reading Festival, and met this really lovely bloke who i also started seeing. Now, his only problem is that he won't commit to anything (he'd just got out of a long term relationship too), even though he treats me like his girlfriend, and we're going on holiday together and things.
Now Matt (my ex-ish) knows about Adam, but Adam doesn't know about Matt. A + I have had conversations abouit cheating (i.e. it wouldn't be, cos we're not going out), but matt's pressurising me for something more long-term, and while i do like him, i think i like adam better. Also, i've told M that i'd never fall in love with him again cos i'm not getting screwed over like that again. Bleargh. Should i tell A about M, cos i don't really want to jeapordise my relationship with A. What should i do? Any advice wouild be appreciated.

due to insufficient funding, the light at the end of the tunnel has been switched off.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think your best bet would be to stuck with adam if matt has cheated on you b4 he will do it again trust me i know and adam sounds like a lovely bloke tell him that ur ex is pressuring you to get back with him and u dont want to (well thats if you dont) any lad woh cheats after 11 months is a moron dont go bk there girl stick with adam!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    no, matt wasn't cheating on me, he was just going with my best friend straight after we broke up and they didn't tell me. Sorry if it sounded a bit confused!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    As far as your ex going out with your best mate, I think thats perfectly OK. I know it must hurt right now, but my ex treated me like shit (see my post below) and her best mate came on to me a couple of months back(while we were still together) even though I fancied her like mad, I resisted her. But now I'm finished with my ex, her best mate wants me apparently and I dont see why I shouldnt see her after everything thats gone on. Not that I'm suggesting you treated Matt like shit, I'm sure there were a completely different set of circumstances altogether.

    Anyway back on topic, I would definelty go for Adam if I were you, because he sounds like a really sensible guy, and him not wanting to commit kinda shows this.

    Dont let you ex pressurise you, he cant make you go back with him.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh yeah, and I think you should tell Adam about Matt, but be clear about it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    bleargh. I don't think i like that idea. Am i a wuss?!

    due to insufficient funding, the light at the end of the tunnel has been switched off.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Nope your just really confused right now and dont want to hurt anyone, which is admirable more than anything.

    Its for the best, I mean its not like you are shagging Matt behind Adams back. Its one thing to wait, but what if Adam finds out about Matt from someone else ??

    That will be even worse, because then you'll be saying "oh i was gonna tell you" which us blokes generally find as a bit of an excuse.

    Take a day or two to think about it some more.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    no ur not a wus u just need to be clear on wot to say to him so not to get him wound up about it and yeah matt nvr cheated on u but ur best friend after 11 months that is not nice
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hmmm, the thing is, i am shagging matt behind adams back. And i do want to break it off with matt, but i think it'll really hurt him, cos he's really into me (god, that sounds big headed!). Adam won't find out from anyone else cos no-one knows about me and matt. And adam lives in windsor which is a mission away. So we have seperate groups of friends.

    due to insufficient funding, the light at the end of the tunnel has been switched off.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah, i wasn't approving of the whole him-and-my-best-mate thing either.

    due to insufficient funding, the light at the end of the tunnel has been switched off.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im not suprised i could understand if it was after a few weeks but not nearly a year u need to tell the both of them how u feel and explain to adam bout matt like confused male said he will only find out from else where and then it will be worse
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    only u can decide wot to do maybe matts really into u because he knows he is gettin somethin as soon as a better offer comes along then he will be off and maybe adam does live far away but it isnt fair on him no tot tell him u need to decide which one u want!!
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