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i miss my gf

Hi, is anyone else here currently in a relationship that used to be close distance but has recently become a long distance?
I'm asking cos my girlfriend has gone to a different uni, and I'm not sure how I'm going to cope without her, especially as she has said not to ring her all the time. How do you cope?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That's shitty, Whowhere. Been there, done that. I was in the US for a year w/out my b/f and it was a "one day at a time" affair. I cried a lot, but I also went out and made the most of my time there, it helped to take my mind off the loneliness so I worked hard and played hard. We phoned everyday, and he's still trying to pay off the phone bill debt so your g/f's probably right. Leaving it a few days will make it easier in the long run.

    The biggest problem is jealousy and suspicion that can creep in really easily. My b/f wasn't jealous, so even when I went on trips to NY and Las Vegas with other guys he knew they were just m8s. I am a jealous person, though, and even though I know he would never cheat...misunderstandings happen easily when th ephone is your only communication. "why was your mobile turned off last night?!" etc, etc. I used to really hate it when he had fun nights out without me, I thought he might get too used to life w/out me in it. But it's just silly paranoia, made worse cos ur missing them so much.

    It was really hard. I wouldn't recommend trying it unless you are really committed to each other. But, on saying that, we managed and we're very happy now (except for those moments when I want to kill him and vice versa!!). It's a real test.

    Hope you're OK, m8. I have no quick-fix, I'm sorry. All I can say is that it can work out if you're determined, best of luck. If u need someone to listen (cos every1 get sick of listening after a while, I should know) u know my e-mail/messanger address. Hang in there.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

    i have been there! with my ex, (we split up not over the distance dnt worry sumthin else!)

    no he went to uni in liverpool, and i was in good old essex, we managed really well,

    but he was very obbsessive over me, and wld ring 3 times a day......(big no no!)

    dnt lose ur life, and stop going out, he did and lost his friends, because he was always going on about me and how i hadnt answered and became obbsessive!!

    she is right about the phone calls... it is so expensive! he is still paying too!

    ur better have a really good chat 3 times a week,or whatever, than one every day!

    i dnt knw if i was anyhelp sorry! but dnt stop keep doing things...... go out see ur mates! (they r the most important!) i knw it sounds silly but they r!

    ?????????
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Am in that possition now and it's not the nicest of things.
    You have to make sure you trust each toher 100% otherwise, as caz said u'll be live in suspicion of what the other is up to.
    It can work tho, n has for me for nearly 18 months now. 3ish phone calls a week wouldn't be enough for me, but maybe it will be for you.
    Make sure u see her as often as u can, n don't slip in little bits about ur other girl mates on the phone, that will just make her feel bad....
    Good luck m8, cos it's hard - but worth it.
    xxxs

    Who ate all the pies??
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *looks on in green envy*

    My ex split up with me a week before I left for uni, the beauty of it all is the fact that she knew 6 months ago I would be going and she was totally cool with it Then she did that to me. Bitch.

    Needless to say that I beleive that such relationships do, can and will work, although its going to take a lot of trust and a lot of love from both sides. But I firmly beleive these things work if the determination is there.

    Good luck

    B
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'll try and cut the phone calls down, but It will be really hard for me, for several reasons,
    1.I got used to speaking to her almost everyday, and seeing her a few times a week
    2.after 7 my phone calls to her phone are free.

    It isn't just that, I'm jealous of the life she is starting to lead, and Im scared she will prefer that than coming to see me. When I went down to see her she commented that she couldnt believe I was in her little world, and it made me feel like an intruder.
    I am trying to go out and enjoy myself, but it isn't easy because I am living at home, and the people in the halls have got their own sense of doing things which clashes with mine. I suppose I will have to try, but I still don't know when I can actually ring her,
    maybe tonight I will.
    Thanks for the advice, but keep it coming plz!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Call it off, long distance doesn't work. If it was meant to be forever, you would already be married, or you would have thought that being together was more important than whatever reason seperated you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by kza:
    Call it off, long distance doesn't work. If it was meant to be forever, you would already be married, or you would have thought that being together was more important than whatever reason seperated you.

    Sorry, but isn't that a bit narrow minded? Especially considering people here have already said how it can work?! It's really up to the individuals to stay committed and everything, but if you want it enough of course it can happen.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by kza:
    or you would have thought that being together was more important than whatever reason seperated you.

    erm, i thought university was pretty important???
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Long distance can work!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can totally relate to your situation. There is now 200 miles between me and my boyf when it used to be 10. And yes it is really difficult to resist the temptation to call her every 10 minutes but take what she said to heart and DON'T!!!! It sounds really harsh but it will be difficult enough to settle into first year as it is, without having to worry about reassuring you every 5 minutes.

    You have to realise that just because she now lives away from home, she won't be there forever. She will still be able to come home and visit you, and you can likewise visit her. And Royal Mail do actually operate during term-time!!

    As i was in the same situation last year i know how difficult it is to settle down. Give her the little bit of freedom that she wants, and guarenteed it will make the time you spend together even more special.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just thought I'd add my story to cheer you up. I met a girl on holiday and we got on so well that I wasn't going to lose her when we got back to England. We're at different unis but we are totally okay with the distance and it makes the time we have more special. If you want to be with someone then the time apart at uni might even be good, cos you won't be in each other's face all the time but you know you're there for each other. Hope it all works out for ya, incidentally I know someone who got married to someone they met on the net, after FIVE years being 8000 miles apart!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I hate not being able to see my girl friend all the time. We may spend a whole week together and then for 3 months only see each other at weekends. i work saturday night sunday day and she works friday night saturday day now. So we never get time with each other because we are both at college. I miss her all the time and some times it can cause problems.

    Raaaaaa

    I hate it
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    (((whowhere)))

    my boyf lives abroad so every time college ends for the hols he goes to another country!! try that for long distance!!
    Dont worry to much, just be supportive but not too clingy (i sometimes go a little overboard with the text messages!!!) and then believe me, the meeting up after such a long time is def. worth it!!

    GL!
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