Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Aged 16-25? Share your experience of using the discussion boards and receive a £25 voucher! Take part via text-chat, video or phone. Click here to find out more and to take part.
Options

Update on the older woman thing

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Just thought I'd give a quick update and try and find some little advice from people who may have been there before.

After I posted that thread about me and that older woman a while ago (the 27yr old) I ended up carrying on the sex based relationship with her. It has now ended and I'm not sure I'm happy (not just at the idea of being sexless)

As usual when things end we tend to say to ourselves, "If only" If only I had done this or that. I'm currently in that stage and pretty depressed in general about other things too, so all this is doing my head in.

It ended about 3 or 4 weeks ago, when she became 28. Although none of us have officially said its over. We just no longer talk and she doesn't come home with me any more.

I saw her last night and It kinda hurt not having her with me. She was being a prick tease and flirting with other people in the office (people she use to say were ugly and she'd never go with etc) so I'm thinking she playing games with me. Or perhaps just being friendly. I didn't let it get to me, I carried on talking about drank my drink

She said something that stuck in my mind. And I'm not sure how to take it. I was talking with this chap and she came over to talk to us. She asked us what we were talking about, and this bloke said "mistakes"

Then she kinda whispered to me, "I hope you don't think we were a mistake?" And all I could do is mutter NO.

I'm not sure how I should take that? Does that mean we are over for good now?

I never had, nor will I chase her. The relationship has always been about her chasing me and all the way through our time together her mates have told me that I'm doing well showing her no interest etc.
But I think maybe now she bored with me. I can learn to live with that but just when I think it's all over she does or say something to make me think she wants me and it's all on again.

So this really isn't much of an update. In fact, I think I've done a full circle and back to squire one. Although now I'm missing not waking up to her on the weekends quite alot. :(

I can understand if no one offers any help, I think I'll only go and do my own thing, make my own mistakes and all that. But I will try and listen and take your replies to heart.

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    And you think i attention seek?

    That woman is me in 10 years :p

    I dont see how/why you got hung up on this woman. She just sounds like one of them sad cows that goes round clubs dressed 15 years too young, trying to pull 18 year old lads or something!

    Get yourself a proper woman hun.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by LacyMay
    And you think i attention seek?

    That woman is me in 10 years :p

    I dont see how/why you got hung up on this woman. She just sounds like one of them sad cows that goes round clubs dressed 15 years too young, trying to pull 18 year old lads or something!

    Get yourself a proper woman hun.
    :eek:
    someones jealous!!!!!!!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He asked for advice, not for people to state the bloody obvious.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sweetie, she's definitely playing games. now, you seem completely incapable of getting over her at the moment so I suggest a bit of game playing back. Seem confident and fine, but not too much ( maybe the other posters can give you tips). You do need to 'get over it' but everyone knows how hard that can be so for now just concentrate on getting back some of that damaged ego that you had before and when you met her.

    Time is a healer, but for now think of yourself!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Cheers leeseylicious,

    I know times a healer but as I work with her its hard because we more or less see each other a few times everyday.

    I've tried to act around her like I normally do. Like she nothing special and I don't care what she say or does. Maybe that routine was running a little thin.

    See, what really fucked me up is, when we were at our peek and really happy together we were having unprotected sex :o

    Anyway..... She was saying to me that she was having dreams about babies and that if I knocked her up she would keep the baby and wouldn't be unhappy! She also kept on saying to me that I would be really upset if that happened! It was like she wanted me to say I wanted a baby with her!!!:eek:

    This happened a few times, but only when we were both drunk, so it's not something she'd say when sober. Also, she was always saying I'd be the perfect bf if only I was older by a few years!

    I know what I should do, but I'm just scared if this bitch clicks her fingers I might end up doing something stupid like sleeping with her again:o (Ok, might take more then just clicking fingers to get me into bed):p

    I've just got to hope that she wants it over for good this time!! (I've been down this road about twice now with her finishing it then starting it back up again)

    Anyway, wish me luck.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    HANG ON!!!!

    Whats going on here....you use phrases like 'prick tease' and tell us that you were congratulated on 'showing her no interest' and yet you wonder why she stopped coming home with you!!??

    Seems to me that you expected some kind of glory from having an 'older' woman and now that she's wised up you are feeling the loss!!

    I dunno :rolleyes:
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by byny
    HANG ON!!!!

    Whats going on here....you use phrases like 'prick tease' and tell us that you were congratulated on 'showing her no interest' and yet you wonder why she stopped coming home with you!!??

    Seems to me that you expected some kind of glory from having an 'older' woman and now that she's wised up you are feeling the loss!!

    I dunno :rolleyes:

    She told me while we were in the "getting to know each other" stage that she gets bored with blokes easy and not to expect anything long term. Which I was happy with at the time.

    *3or4 months later and I was still having sex with her*

    To me, I'd say that that's more then a ONS, and her talking about kids of any kind mistake or not, with me, would indicate that It was more then just a fling. :confused:

    So yes, I'd still class her as a prick tease. Every time we split, she'd use the "Lets stay friends and not fall out" lines, which I did. And I would carry on in the 'showing her no interest' mode. Then a week or so later she'd be drunk and pull me to oneside and look into my eyes and cuddle me and things would go from there.Then she'd end up back at my place etc.

    As I said. I know I should have more control.....But apart of me liked it. I'm trying to get over her but its very hard!

    As for the glory bit you mentioned. Yeah, I loved that!:rolleyes: It was her that let the cat out of the bag at work, and she liked th idea of me bragging to my mates about it. She even told me that!!

    I'm not sure why she stopped coming onto me. Maybe she bored. *who could blame her!*:lol: maybe she wants me to make all the moves and show her I'm interested? (She txt me twice this weekend) Something she hardly ever does.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Harmless


    As for the glory bit you mentioned. Yeah, I loved that!:rolleyes: It was her that let the cat out of the bag at work, and she liked th idea of me bragging to my mates about it. She even told me that!!

    Ok im starting to sound bitter and twisted, but do you not think thats a bit sad?
Sign In or Register to comment.