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First date in ages = Arghhhh!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey everyone,
basically Im just getting nervous at the thought that I have my first ever proper date on thursday. I mean I had a long term girlfriend but that wasnt through a date, more friends.
Anyway I met a girl on friday at a club and with the help of (a lot of) drink got talking to her and then that led on........(no sex or anything). Then I got her number and surprisingly she gave it to me and although she didnt reply for ages now shes like how about thursday? Thats cool and then she responds to me with a "what if we dont like each other" and which point Im like does she actually remember me? She says she does and I sure remember her being like 'wow' which is probably the problem and she SO isnt the girl I would usually get with. I mean generally I wouldnt even get with any as Im not that outgoing but its different in clubs with drink, music etc and Im cool with that.

However meeting someone in a club is very different to meeting her one on one to watch a film or something and it has got disaster written all over it. Apart from the obvious 'be yourself' I have absolutely no idea how to act on dates. I dont want to cancel and Im not taking it too seriously but I just would like to avoid a few hours of hell if thats what it is! I mean what if Im not who she remembered and she doesnt like that........basically to sum it all up in a word - Arghhh!

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    worry less, have fun on your date more
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    ClaireBearClaireBear Deactivated Posts: 467 Listening Ear
    Gah! First dates - what a nightmare of nerves and self-doubt. But on the other hand toally exciting and really enjoyable. Shyboy's right - enjoy yourself.

    There's loads of info on TheSite.org about this sort of thing and these articles might help: If you can't think of where to go have a look at this for some ideas and this may help boost your confidence.

    Good luck and remember - enjoy!

    CB
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    First date's are nerve wrecking events for me!

    To fair, I haven't had that many in my life but I think both people are nevous.... "Will they turn up" " will they still like me" "what will we talk about" are worries I always go though!

    I was nearly sick once before I date with nerves. Try to worry about it and try to enjoy it. Think on the bright side, at least you've got a date ( even if it doesn't work out) 'cos some of us have got eff all at the moment :rolleyes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Inddeed.

    Little alcohol affecetd but hope u hear me!

    I am SOOOOOOO nervous. It is a date but smoky club to cinema- how do I talk in cinema and if she doesnt like me! Argggghh! I will do it as only live once so gotta make the most but it may be awful sve if she is amazing
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Inddeed.
    Originally posted by Narcotic
    Little alcohol affecetd but hope u hear me!

    I am SOOOOOOO nervous. It is a date but smoky club to cinema- how do I talk in cinema and if she doesnt like me! Argggghh! I will do it as only live once so gotta make the most but it may be awful sve if she is amazing. i love her double barelled bame- Aneka Cherie,,. Hmmmm She is so outat my league I feel but I gotta try at least. Disaster is a disater doesnt matter,

    little alchohol affected?

    girls aren't impressed when they have to carry you home :p but either way a little bit of the alchomohol is good to loosen up the system, especially when you get overtense. not that i've ever used it of course, apart from once when i ended up telling this girl i fancied her then she told me she fancied me and it was all very bad.

    good luck mate :thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Bad Bad Bad

    OK its fair to say the date was pretty bad.

    I was already nervous about it as havent been on a date for absolutely ages and when I saw her I remembered her wrong it seems. For she wasnt just nice as much as stunning and hence I just felt so out of my depth as it so wasnt a girl I would usually be in this situation with. So that meant I was restrcited on conversation or made (what felt like) stupid chit chat. I mean I know first dates are arkward but I just felt so stupid. It wasnt even just her but her friends also turned up (coincidentally apparently!) and they all seemed so different to the people I usually hand around with- much more confident, good looking etc etc.

    Anyway after like 30 mins of talking we watched Calender Girls which was so bad it was untrue and to make it worse it dragged on and on and on.............
    Which meant she had to go straight away for the last bus and based on how much you can talk in a cinema, i.e. Not at all, I just feel I wasnt myself in the sense I didnt talk much an didnt feel confident but then again I was myself in the shyness of the situation.

    So I headed my way and her on the bus (quickly I have to say) and she must have exactly the different opinion of me that I have to her. I mean she was so nice and didnt have any trouble talking- she said being nervous made her talk more which is a problem I would love to have!

    I sent a txt kind of apologising for it and how I felt it went and she actually responded surprisingly. I mean she said she had a good time but since I know she has had a fair few dates as she said I reckon this must be one of her worse! Then she said that if I/her is ever at the club we first met at to let the other person know although whether she meant this or was just being polite I dont know.........I did respond to say that I was worried Id been so bad she'd want to forget but she was so easy going like "dates are meant to be horrible" and again saying about the club. Its just the fact as soon as she goes out again she'll have guys over her. Even last night I could sense them all looking at her and she could have had any of them.........

    Guess it shows the difference between meeting in a smoky crowded bad with drink to a one on one date which I have so little experience in!

    I really wish Id had something to drink to start with just to get the initial confidence or that we had gone to a bar as opposed to the cinema but I guess its over now and I just feel it could have been so much better. If I didnt like her I could handle it a lot easier but I really really did but like I said I would have been out of my depth anyway so maybe its good in the end
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