I know this is pathetic but...

Former Member

....just girls, theyve got me so down recently, more infact today.
Thing number 1: A girl who stopped talking to me ages ago, i dont know why, ended up within feet of her today, i went all tense and felt all flustered and red. I dont know why, nervousness i guess but i hate the way i still do this.

Thing number 2:
Why do girls like bastards? I had some saying to me today how good it was i was 'in touch with my feminine side':rolleyes: But yet girls dont like that. Its so confusing

Thing number 3:
Someone said this to me ( a guy) on msn this evening
'ill be honest, you are not the best looking of guys, and at this age, we're very very shallow, u also have a bad rep in terms of that, ppl are like oh its danny, he's nice but ugly as fuck and scared around women'

Hmm way to make me feel great, i know im not good looking and ive thought, meh why do i even bother. Any girl ive liked bad things have happened. Just whats the point? I can honestly see myself going through the rest of my life not knowing love. Im going to uni next year, not like ill be able to start anything there, i mean i havnt ever before so like theres no point.

I just dont know what to do anymore, seems everyone else i know is/has been with someone, i feel so behind and all.

What hope is there

apoligies to anyone whos read this in my lj already

Former Member

Everyone's been there before.
I'm guessing you're quite young (ie under 18) so the best advice I could give would be to stop worrying about getting a girlfriend and enjoy doing things you do like.

As you get older you'll find things improve a lot generally so stop worrying about it now.

Former Member

Well, I'll try to answer Q2.
Girls love bastards as they're often confident, full of it, and full of themselves. They exude it from every pore of their body. They're seen as exciting, even dangerous, and as risk takers (and hopefully winners of the risks they take). It's all very macho. Girls love that exciting unpredictability, and even if they're not that keen on it, hope (pah!) that they can change him.

Mr_Wobble

Former Member

Originally posted by AndyW
Everyone's been there before.
I'm guessing you're quite young (ie under 18) so the best advice I could give would be to stop worrying about getting a girlfriend and enjoy doing things you do like.

As you get older you'll find things improve a lot generally so stop worrying about it now.

Yeah im 17. It just seems odd to me though that alot of my close freinds are or have been in close relationships and having sexual relations and stuff. I think part of me just feels behind them all, but on the other hand i dont want to go that far. Thats the thing as well i cant really see things getting much better. Ill be at uni in a year and on my own and i have NO idea how to do anything with women. I just feel like the girls wouldnt want to touch me becuase im so unexpereinced.

And MrWobble. WHY??!??!?!?! Why do they *have* to change someone, if im like this already why not just go with someone like me? (well im not v good looking i guess, but you get my point)

Former Member

Renzokuken I think these steps should help you -

1) Don't ever feel sorry for yourself.

2) Rememebr that you only have 1 life, make the most of it.

3) Learn to be happy living life as an individual. If you can come to terms with the fact that you can be happy alone then your confidence improves.

4) Find hobbies to enjoy.

5) When you do find a girl you like, treat her nice but don't become obsessive or cater her every need like a dogs body.

6) If you are worried that when you get with a women she will find you inexperienced...fake it! Make out you are. Ooze confidence. Are you a virgin? Try condoms on beforehand so you knwo what to do with them. Watch some porn so you can see what happens. Read about getting girls going on the web. Sex isn't rocket science.

Former Member

Originally posted by Sir Cum
Renzokuken I think these steps should help you -

1) Don't ever feel sorry for yourself.

2) Rememebr that you only have 1 life, make the most of it.

3) Learn to be happy living life as an individual. If you can come to terms with the fact that you can be happy alone then your confidence improves.

4) Find hobbies to enjoy.

5) When you do find a girl you like, treat her nice but don't become obsessive or cater her every need like a dogs body.

6) If you are worried that when you get with a women she will find you inexperienced...fake it! Make out you are. Ooze confidence. Are you a virgin? Try condoms on beforehand so you knwo what to do with them. Watch some porn so you can see what happens. Read about getting girls going on the web. Sex isn't rocket science.

thanks:)
Im not feeling so bad anymore, just trying to foget really, and yeah lol i need a hobby :rolleyes: A mate suggested the condom thing ages ago and she was supposed to give me some but didnt and im scared too! er....porn thats gonna be hard to get hold of, for a start im 17 and my computers in my living room!
As i said though im not really thinking about sex, i just wana take it one step at a time.

Former Member

Thats cool. On the condom front, go for it! Just walk straight into your local chemists - Even be bold and ask the girl behind the counter (unless its obvious) "Excuse me where are the condoms?". Then take a pack of Natural. Mates are a good start. Once you buy them as well you'll realise that people won't be shocked about the thought that you could actually be having sex with someone. It is a natural thing for everyone and something that will just happen when the time is right.

Former Member

When I was at high school I never had any major relationships, but as you get older, you ge tmore mature, you find an image that you feel good with, you relax more, you get mopre confidence, you know what works and what doesn't in terms of maximising how you look etc etc. But like everyone else ahs said, it takes time. I was a geek at high school with my comb over side shed hair, and honestly my life started to change with the discovery of hair gel and a forward comb It'll happen to you, but try not to rush it, it will come. Take time to do hobbies you enjoy, become more confident with yourseflf first, an then as that progresses you'll become more ocnfident with other people and then girls. You can't be confident and comfortable in other people's company until you are confident and comfortable in your own. And the sex thing? You'll learn. Most people are crap at it first time, and the most fun is in the learnign with someone. If some one cares and loves you enough to have sex with you in the first place, then they'll still be around for you to develop your technique.

Former Member

Hey people,

Listen mate dont worry we have all been through a stage of something like this and Sir Cum has pointed out one thing which i would say is top 'dont ever feel sorry for yourself' this is one of the worst things you can do psychologically. The way i look at it is it is a CONFIDENCE thing! I see boys who i would consider not as good lookin as me pull stunning girls and at the end of the day it comes down to confidence and being outgoing. Whenever im out on the pull so to speak i jus think so what if i get the knockback its her loss and the end of the day no-one got hurt u just move on!

Peaceout

Former Member

but im not confident at all!:(

Former Member

Originally posted by Renzokuken
And MrWobble. WHY??!??!?!?! Why do they *have* to change someone, if im like this already why not just go with someone like me? (well im not v good looking i guess, but you get my point)

If only I knew, then I could write a book about it, and make a fortune!

There's another thing about the bastard side of things. Often they have to go out of their way to get the bastards attention, and the don't often show any appreciation. Somehow this makes them want them even more, despite the way girls complain about it. This isn't all girls, but quite a lot of girls go for it. Again, don't know why. I'm not a psychologist, and if I knew the secret, then as I said, I'd write a book about it and make a fortune!

Mr_Wobble