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Temporary Flatmate 16yrs Old

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Right, My heads in a bit of a fizz about this one, basically I'll start at the top and explain it through as I see it...

I have a friend called Terri, who's 16 and one of the sweetest friends you could ever have, however she clashes really badly with her mum and has had really tricky moments over the past few months where she almost got kicked out. She has a sister who went through the same predicament a few years previous and got kicked out.

Well now its finally her turn, she phoned me a few minutes ago in tears saying that its finally happened and her mum has given her two weeks to move out and will charge her about £40 a week up till then.

She hasn't got much money definatly not enough for a bond and months rent in advance, shes 16 and needs a flat, problem I've got is that while I love her to bits and stuff I can't get the time off work to go and help her at those 'Teen Advice' places and I don't want her to end up in a hostel (nothing against them or anything).

Shes on her way now to my work to get my keys and move some of her stuff over so her mum won't sell it, I haven't got a problem with her moving in as she spends most of her time here anyway but I'm keen to make sure I don't get cained off my landlord (not that I ever see him or anything) or get abuse from my dad for doing this. I'm also concerned about how easy she will be able to find properties at her age (it was hard enough for me and I'm 19, they don't like people under 21) and be able to afford it...

Anyone with any advice?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    isnt it illegal before she's 18??

    surely theres some case here with the law courts?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by MasterDevilish:
    isnt it illegal before she's 18??

    surely theres some case here with the law courts?


    i think that's the least of anyone's worries here MD...the girl needs a place to live, adn justin's in a situation to provide a place.

    justin - i think what ur doing is really great, ur being a true friend and i doubt it's something she'll forget.

    i dont see why there should be any problem, so long as she behaves herself (well, to the same extent u behave urself). it may force u to re-think ur relationship with her tho...i mean in the sense that living with someone is often somewhat harder than having them arond a fair bit. but i think considering u work full time, u wont be in each other hair 24/7.

    i dont see how it's any of ur landlords business, and if ur dad asks, i think he should understand that ur doing a very kind favour for a very good friend who needs help.

    that's about allll the advice i can thikn of, and i may be on TOTALLY the wrong track, but hope it helps anyways.

    good luck and we're here for ya if u need anything, <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif"&gt;

    Tt


    If there's anything more important than my ego around here, i want it caught and shot now
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

    Justin, I think what you're doing is great! Helping a friend is always good. Be careful though! Moving in with a friend could result in not having a friend. As long as both parties respect the other and tried to look out for the other, things will be fine. If she's a good friend, she'll try to make sure she's not taking advantage of you. If both expect nothing, give much, the friendship/relationship with last long.

    Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem.

    Translated: In the good old days, children like you were left to perish on windswept crags.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by MasterDevilish:
    isnt it illegal before she's 18??

    surely theres some case here with the law courts?


    Nah at 16 you can move out! But still justin i can't help on the flat thing but a piece of advice would be not to come inbetween her and her mum. Thats the worst thing because even though her mums chucked her out you don't know the full story and the facts shes still her mum! They may think a 19 y/o's taking advantage of a 16 y/o. Watch yourself.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by 63DH8:

    i think that's the least of anyone's worries here MD...the girl needs a place to live, adn justin's in a situation to provide a place.

    yes, congratulations, and if it's illegal to kick her out then she would have a place to live because she wouldn't have to go anywhere

    Nah at 16 you can move out!


    i know, but can you be forced from your home?



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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by MasterDevilish:
    i know, but can you be forced from your home?
    You can't be forced from anywhere as such! But if the police got involved they'd count it as a family dispute and basically ignore it!
    Justin should help her out but also not provide a long term place coz he'll get himself in trouble. let her stay but condition it to a few weeks while she sorts out going home or living with her sister perhaps???

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That was a sound thing to do mate. I bet she appeciates it, but what's gonna happen coz at her age you're right, finding a flat is impossible. Do you not think that her mum will take her back at some point? Will she not want to go back and if so how long would you be prepared to let her stay?

    Good luck anyway.

    - Skive <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/nogood.gif"&gt;

    Forward ever
    Backward never
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *** News Update ***

    Her and her mum have sort of made up, their back on talking grounds again which is good news, she says she's going to go back over there after a week or so as she says this break is good for the both of them.

    Her mum did kind of walk in on us all yesterday when we where all having a bit of a party and were stoned, made me feel really bad just knowing that her mum saw that, I only ever really hear one side of the story but I know what Terri is like so I do understand where her mum is coming from, thankfully her mum trusts me from me walking her home all the time etc. as she knows I'll always look after her.

    I do hope they sort things out, family disbutes are always troublesome, the only thing I'm concerned about is that she'll move back home and end up at mine after a week as she can't cope, that seems to be the usual drill these days.

    But no matter what happens she knows she's always welcome and won't have to worry bout having a roof over her head.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    omg!! how nice r u!!! im kinda like that with my mum altho she aint thrown me out - yet!

    do u have msn or yahoo??

    no man is worth your tears, and the one who is wont make you cry....
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    do u have msn or yahoo??

    Yep... finally got it set up here, I'm only on during the day between about 9am and 5pm (I use the net at work)

    justinb_ccna@msn.com

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey all,
    I have to say that I too think you've done a great thing for Terri (I know everyone's been saying this, but it's true!), but I agree with whoever it was that said that it should perhaps only be a temporary thing.

    What about the financial side of things? If she stays for over a few weeks, she might be expecting you to pay for her meals and everything, which you probably wont mind because she is a good friend, but if you then start having financial problems, chances are she won't be able to help you out because she won't have a stable or full time job.
    Perhaps, if things don't sort themselves out at her house, she could stay with you and you could organise for her mum to give you some kind of monthly payment (like child allowence or something, even though she's too old for that, isn't she?) just for food and clothes, things like that.

    Anyways, I hope all goes well for you both <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    ~~**Cookie

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    "Get up"
    "Shut up! You know you don't understand, I'm feeling under the weather..."

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i have added u but u aint on now!!!!! add me in case it aint worked pink_elephant50@hotmail.com

    no man is worth your tears, and the one who is wont make you cry....
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