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Am I a total freak?
BillieTheBot
Posts: 8,721 Bot
Ok, so I'm usually proud to be a freak...but I have this thing and I'm not sure if it's normal.
I'm 17 and I've never been in a sexual relationship before (although I have kissed & stuff).
Anyway, I used to have this problem and I think it's coming back. You see, I used to be scared of physical contact, I don't know why. I think it could be because I've been touched up against my will a few times (before I was ready) or it might be because I was bullied all through my childhood. My brother hits me a lot, he makes my arm dead and pushes me around and although he doesn't mean it to be nasty, it still hurts. Another reason could be because somebody tried to take advantage of me whilst I was drunk.
Anyway, is it normal for me to not want to be touched? I have a problem with family members touching me now and I hate physical contact. My only problem is that I'm worried I'll end up offending someone and I doubt I'll ever make it into a physical relationship because I find it so hard to trust anyone.
I was just wondering if anyone had any advice or was like me.
I'm 17 and I've never been in a sexual relationship before (although I have kissed & stuff).
Anyway, I used to have this problem and I think it's coming back. You see, I used to be scared of physical contact, I don't know why. I think it could be because I've been touched up against my will a few times (before I was ready) or it might be because I was bullied all through my childhood. My brother hits me a lot, he makes my arm dead and pushes me around and although he doesn't mean it to be nasty, it still hurts. Another reason could be because somebody tried to take advantage of me whilst I was drunk.
Anyway, is it normal for me to not want to be touched? I have a problem with family members touching me now and I hate physical contact. My only problem is that I'm worried I'll end up offending someone and I doubt I'll ever make it into a physical relationship because I find it so hard to trust anyone.
I was just wondering if anyone had any advice or was like me.
Beep boop. I'm a bot.
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Comments
The thing is I was like that, I think, due to stuff that went on when I was a child and a dodgy experience when I first had sex with a bloke. People would think this would make someone not want any contact at all but infact it just seemed to make me go out and get myself used! I guess coz I thought thats what it was meant to be like...I dunno but thats how I felt anyway!
The point that Im trying to make is that despite being like I was I never liked being touched or anything by anyone even though I let myself by doing what I did. Im not a huggy person and I cant stand people going anywhere near my head for some dodgy reason, not to mention my hate of anyone trying to give me a massage!!!
Im worse in some ways with my familly, I dunno why but I feel even more uncomfortable when they try to get all huggy with me than I do with people outside the familly.
As a child I was constantly looking for some kind of love and always wanting people to hold me and hug me and show me some kind of affection. Then it switched (I guess after the incident when I was 14) and I just hate any kind of contact. And as sad as it may sound (and shamefully for me) I honestly cant think of many times when Ive actually enjoyed or felt good when Ive slept with blokes. It seems after I feel worse infact... stupid as that may sound.
Anyway, Ill shut up now coz Im off on one and not geting to the point lmfao! Basically I think u r definatly like this as a result of the hitting, and being taken advantage of etc. Most likely u r not comfortable with touching or anything because always the contact people have had with u has been bad in some way, like u ended up hurt. U r afraid coz u dont want to get hurt...which is understanable with the things that u have had happen.
The best u can do is try and relax and not think people r going to hurt u, but this is something Im still not able to do and to be honest u might find it wont change untill u talk about the things that have ahppened in your past and somehow learn to trust again.
I hope this has a least let u feel less alone and been helpfull in some way...if it made any sense at all lol!
guess im a freak as well but im not as proud of it as u r, sel, u know that i dont like a lot of phsyical contact and all that, even tho i slept with my last boyfriend most people know that i thought sex was shit and havnt spoke 2 him since. i dont know whether im scared of contact or i just dont like it, i guess it comes under the same thing though. mayb im just not a people person or something. i dont like my female friends hugging me or linking or any of that, i even have fucked up nightmares about it. i know u already know most of this, but i thought id acknoledge ure post.
the way i feel at the moment (which is a bit shit to be fair), i dont really want a man at all, i could easily live without having sex again, because i didnt know ian at all at the time and i regret so much losing my virginity in a relationship where there was no real love or trust, just a guy takin advantage. which was out of order and is kinda why im not with him any more. we did make out in public and that, but i didnt enjoy it at all, i just guess it was teh thing to do. u should never have to do this thinking about it, its not how a relationship should work.
ive never really liked bein touched or cuddled in any way at all, maybe it adds or stems from teh fact that im as detached as fuck, i dont know. i dont remember a lot of my childhood, mostly because i try not to remember it.
im not an expert at this, but maybe it is because of stuff like bullying, ure brother, and someone trying 2 take advantage of u. i mean if some or most of that stuff has happened to me (and maybe lolly) and whatever then maybe that is why, but like i said im not an expert at this stuff.
i guess i find it hard to trust people as well, i have no idea why, i just never have done as far as i know. maybe its just another one of them things, or maybe there actually is a reason behind it.
anyway stay in touch and i hope that whatever has been said so far has been of some help or reassurance <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">
its a frustrating thing, but one day you will find someone that you can trust in that way
unless ure me and u trusted him and then he was a dick and upset me a load. which is why i never intend on trusting ANYONE in a hurry ever again.
(lol, ok lolly <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif">)