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Partial Impotence

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi.

When I first started getting into it when I was 17/18 I was getting instant boners during making out etc, and by the time my pants were off I was rock hard and fully ready.

And would only really need between 5 and 25 minutes, usually closer to 5, before the next go, and I could last for ages, and repeat as many times as I wanted.

I used to always wake up with a boner.

I guess when I turned 20 or 21, 1 in 5 times I wasnt getting a boner without having the female touch it and masturbate it. I also noticed I was lasting shorter times, and being able to go less times in a day.

I would usually have a boner in the morning, if I had a naked woman with me.

Now im 26, I never get a boner without the girl masturbating it a bit, the erection is not as hard as it was, now it kind of points forward or slightly down, when it used to point straight up. I am limited to once a day, and can only last 5 minutes.

I really try, but when I go slowly, the woman doesnt respond, and I go soft, and when I speed up to a level where the woman is excited and I can maintain my erection, then i suddenly orgasm.

And I never wake up with a boner anymore, and even after making out with the naked girl in bed with me, it stays soft 50% of the time, and 50% of the time I might have some luck.

Is this a normal part of aging? Should it happen already by 26? Is this catergorized as impotence, or is that when no boner occurs at all? Does it suggest that I am likely to become impotent in a few years? What can I do to slow this process down, or even return to my teenage levels?

I have thought about viagra, but dont like the idea of taking pills for something like that, I worry that I may depend on them, and it might actually cause me to be impotent, if I dont have the viagra.

Any advice? Has anyone else experienced these changes with age?

Thanks

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I went through a stage like that (calm down girls I know thats heartbreaking but I still had a tongue).

    I think it MIGHT be stress related, fitness related, and psychologically related.

    Are you quite a fit person? Do you have a current partner? Does this occur with a partner or with one night stands?

    Is anything stressful happening in your life?

    How hard does your cock get when you wank off?

    Try laying off of touching your cock or having it touched for 2 weeks. See how the morning ones go or if they come back. Then see how it goes with a lady. I wouldn't worry too much abotu needing a female touch to get going - After all a lot of ladies require foreplay so why shouldn't you too? Encorporate it.

    If things start to get really bad then fantasise during sexual activity to get the horniness going. Maybe your just bored off the same old routine.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks a lot for your advice Sir Cum.

    I dont think it could really be stress, fitness, or psychologically related because there hasnt really been any changes in those areas for several years.

    I am reasonably fit, but not especially so as I dont do any sport or anything, but never really have done, and it hasnt been a problem.

    I do have a current partner, who I have had for nearly 10 months now. And just before that was a short term "sexual affair" for less than a month. Before that one or 2 one night stands, and before that another girlfriend throughout most of last year.

    The change can really be described as a linear slope downwards, these things havent suddenly happened, its always just steadily getting worse at a constant rate since I first had sex before I turned 18.

    There doesnt seem to be any difference what sort of partner it is. I am definatley where the problem lies.

    I havent masterbated in a month or so, because I think that couldnt have been helping things, but when I did, my cock did tend to get harder than it does with a woman I guess. Im not really sure.

    The only change I have really noticed since giving up, is the volume of fluid ejaculated is much greater, and also the distance it squirts has increased, it used to dribble out and fall straight down, now at least it has some pressure behind it and squirts out 10cm or so, but only the 1st time after a few days break, Each subsequent time it just dribbles out, at low volumes.

    I will ask my girlfriend to be more imaginative, as she does tend to be reserved. One thing I have noticed is that she would start to take my pants off, notice no boner, and then decide its too early and keeps making out, and she doesnt really want to go on untill I get the boner.

    Other times she has been about to go done on me, noticed I have no boner, and changed her mind and goes back to kissing me, until I get a boner, which only happens sometimes, when its the first attempt of the day.

    I feel stupid saying "do this", "do that", she should do it automatically.

    I have to think of what to say to her, so she doesnt think its her fault, and I dont make her do anything she doesnt want to do, especially if she forces herself to do it to please me.

    One thing we did try to spice things up was group sex, but I was sitting there soft as, while the 3 of them had a great time, while i sat there feeling more frustrated than I ever have in my life. Not only was it soft, it was smaller than normal, it actually shrunk!

    Actually it turned out afterwards my gf didnt have a great time either, even though she got fucked by a guy, she only agreed to it because I asked, and said it might help.

    She was especially annoyed that I didnt join in. The situation was unacceptable to her, because I wasnt able to be a part of it, and she still feels bad about it. And so do I.

    But thanks. I might start jogging or something, and if anyone has ideas on what and how I should say something to my GF, please advise me.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by anonatron


    I feel stupid saying "do this", "do that", she should do it automatically.

    I have to think of what to say to her, so she doesnt think its her fault, and I dont make her do anything she doesnt want to do, especially if she forces herself to do it to please me.


    Try not to feel stupid telling her what to do - if everyone was more communicative about sex, we all have a much better sex life! It's good that you are understnding of her needs and how she feels but she must return that understanding, too and the only way she can understnad how you're feeling is if you tell her.

    We do have a feature on keeping your penis harder for longer - check it out - it may have some helpful hints for you!
    :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It was interesting reading that guide. But now I am really confused. Now I dont drink much but the fucks that me and my GF have had have been after we have been out at the pub drinking. (I am only talking a total of 3 or 4 times here, we are both only once every two months or so drinkers)

    She seems to be less inhibited, and I seem to have less of the problems I described above. Also see reaches orgasm much quicker, and I seem to last as long as I want in this case.

    Also the smoking thing was interesting too. Neither of us smoke cigarettes, but we have smoken cannabis twice (and thats all the times either of us have smoken it while we have been together, we are not cannabis smokers normally) and I dont think it really solved all the problems I mentioned above, but it seemed much nicer, and I got into it more. She also said I seemed "more romantic".

    Up until now I was thinking its a fitness issue, now im thinking its a relaxation/inhibition/excitement issue.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It could easily be an excitement issue. If you notice your girl noticing you are not aroused then that doesnt help the confidence much. And if she is pretty conservative then that isn't going to get the excitement going in the first place.

    Next time she backs away say to her - If you touch it for a bit then I'll return the favour or something and then start touching her. Try and get it to be a "I'll do you only if you do me first" setup. Maybe have a "living" session with massage and lots of heavy petting before you get to it. But just throw the thoughts of non hard erections out of your mind - Instead just think of all the dirty or great sex you could be diving into.

    I think that group sex thing probably didn't help. Better you than me mate! I can't imagine wanting to take my girl along where other men might suddenly be better endowed AND experienced (not likely but hey! ;) ).

    Out of interest - I assume you don't use condoms? As I guess its awkward bothering with them when youa ren't fully aroused?
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