Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Aged 16-25? Share your experience of using the discussion boards and receive a £25 voucher! Take part via text-chat, video or phone. Click here to find out more and to take part.
Options

Long read and stuff. But help appreciated <33

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ok..I rarely write in here. I have good reason to : I rarely have a bloke who I like. I have fuckbuddies. Yes, anyways..long backgroundy stuff to run by..

Ex bloke who was head over heels for me has recently told me he fancied me; I brushed it off as he and I had gotten past all the ugly awkwardness, and could natter until the cows came home.

However, I pondered lots; realised I fancied him too. He goes to the same college as me, and I saw him unexpectedly, and my stomach did a really violent sommersault. I then took this as a big ass hint I wanted the bloke.

So, I told him. We meet up, natter about how he's with his girlfriend, but wants me at the same time. He keeps saying that two months ago, he wished he felt the way about me, as he does now : his current Missus were having problems, and he wanted out. She was at uni, and refused to see him more than once a week. But since the summer holibags and stuff, things're fabbydoo. He can't make up his mind, and I feel like I'm sitting about waiting, waiting for eff all, really.

I'm pissed off, yet I really want the bloke. He's such a pip, but he has his girlfriend. Who, previously, he broke up with to be with me. But things are going well, and he's indecisive and yada. I'm fucking annoyed man. I know if we did happen, it'd be SO great.

He keeps rabbiting about how when he's with his girlfriend, things are fine between them: when he comes to work and sees me, he can't get me out his head.

I don't want to do anything until this is all rectified. I know the sensible thing to do is leave him to it if he's happy. But then he tells me he can't stop thinking about me, and wants to kiss me and flaunt me about the joint. I wanna do that to him too, but I have better restraint. I don't wanna come across as all needy. But I fucking am. I want an answer. If he's having doubts, well surely the relationship he has just now is going down the pan etc? I hate being all dangled about and stuff.

BAH. I'm confused.

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Long read and stuff. But help appreciated <33
    Originally posted by 1983
    I don't wanna come across as all needy. But I fucking am. I want an answer.

    Tell him that you want to know either way cos you're not going to wait around for him to make his mind up, or let him mess you about. Might make him realise that yes he does want you, and he has to dump her now or he'll miss his chance.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey i found myself in the same position as your 'boyfriend' except the difference was i cared about my current girlfriend more than my ex so i dumped her. Simple and straight. I fhe cant dump her what does that say bout his feelings for you!!
    He cant share you both thats just plain greedy!

    Good luck
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    And here is me thinking I have problems. This sounds an awful situation to be in for all 3 of you.

    A female friend at uni last year was in nearly the exact situation. She really facnied a guy at work who facnied her too. However the situation was even more complicated than yours because he was actually engaged and living with his current partner. My mate ended up seeing him but he would leave his fiancee ( spelling) so she ended it. My mate was heartbroken and so was he but he couldn't see a way out of his engagement. Unfortunately I haven't seen her since June so I'm unsure what the final outcome was?

    However, your in an awful situation and I'm sure everytime you think about it you come up with a different outcome/solution?

    Sorry I haven't been much help, but as daft as it may seem, 1000's will be in similar situations to you :(
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ugh. We chatted on Friday, and I dunno if that's not enough time for him to decide or whatever. But I HATE waiting. I want to say right, I want an answer and stuff or it's no go, but I want a go! Bah. So weak. I see him at work, and it's annoying to ignore him, and I keep thinking about him, and it's driving me mad! I've not fancied anyone like this SINCE HIM! So..it's a nasty circle, really. To be honest, I think he's gonna stick with Lesley, and then when she goes back to uni, he's gonna be all "Aww, Becky I should have chosen you, yada!"

    GAAAAAH!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Looks like you will have to patient and let him make what he thinks is the correct decision. Waiting is horrible, I hate it and you'd rather know either way than just wait and be unsure.

    Good luck!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You don't want to let him string you along while he makes a decision though. You'll just end up getting hurt, and then hating yourself for not being strong and for letting him make a fool out of you. That's where I am now and it sucks! :p
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Faith
    You don't want to let him string you along while he makes a decision though. You'll just end up getting hurt, and then hating yourself for not being strong and for letting him make a fool out of you. That's where I am now and it sucks! :p

    He wouldn't make a fool out of me. I'll be upset to feck if he does pick Lesley, but still.. BAH HUMBUG. I shall text him just now, and natter with him tomorrow at college.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by 1983
    I shall text him just now, and natter with him tomorrow at college.

    Good luck hun :)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry to be the one to say this but do you think he is stringing you along? Telling you what he thinks you want to hear. I dont want to sound horrible but putting things in perspective for you, if he did want you wouldn't he have chosen you by now. You told him what you were feeling so he had the ideal opportunity to make his mind up.
    I think he is just using you to be honest. A girl at work and a girlfriend who may see him once a week, some guys would go for that one (not all before everyone shouts at me). Also if his girlfriend did only see him once a week and he did have feelings for you then surely he would have made arrangements to see you while she was at uni.
    Sorry I dont want to sound horrible, but im just telling you how I see it. The guy could be being truthful but going by what you said Id say not :(
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by BeckyBoo
    Sorry to be the one to say this but do you think he is stringing you along? Telling you what he thinks you want to hear. I dont want to sound horrible but putting things in perspective for you, if he did want you wouldn't he have chosen you by now. You told him what you were feeling so he had the ideal opportunity to make his mind up.
    I think he is just using you to be honest. A girl at work and a girlfriend who may see him once a week, some guys would go for that one (not all before everyone shouts at me). Also if his girlfriend did only see him once a week and he did have feelings for you then surely he would have made arrangements to see you while she was at uni.
    Sorry I dont want to sound horrible, but im just telling you how I see it. The guy could be being truthful but going by what you said Id say not :(

    Nah, he was stringing us along. Cause like, he text me saying that he wants me, but he can't be trusted. Which he can't. I suppose I'm ok about it. Just a bit gutted though. Had a wee bubble and stuff. Having a bagel just now, so all is ok that can be, really. :)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by 1983
    Cause like, he text me saying that he wants me, but he can't be trusted. Which he can't.

    Give him credit though, least he has told you. You now know where you stand and you dont deserve to be shit on.

    Awwww I know its hard, but try to remember least you didnt get too tied with him. Go out there and meet someone who wont treat you like muck.........theres loads of nice fellas out there.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by BeckyBoo
    theres loads of nice fellas out there.


    Oooh, do you have numbers of them in Glasgow? ;)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by BeckyBoo
    Go out there and meet someone who wont treat you like muck.........theres loads of nice fellas out there.

    Where? :rolleyes:

    Sorry to hear it didn't work out though Bec
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    being led on/used sucks :(

    i can sympathise with you...:mad:

    however, i've yet to wake up to the reality of the whole thing and he still continues to piss me off royally :crying:
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Faith
    Where? :rolleyes:

    There will be some tall, dark handsome fella waiting just round the corner.........I hope she dont like fair haired ones ;)

    But not all are complete twats, same as lasses you get some right bitches who shit on boyfriends but lets not class us all as bad :)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Aw, thank you, Andrew. :)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Its a shame cos it sounds like you were quite good friends but now it seems he's given you false hope?? t least he made up his mind though. Can't you still be friends with him instead of ignoring him? you never know what might happen with his girlfriend, they may not be together in a months time.

    I'm not saying you should hang around hoping it'll happen but why break up what does seem like a nice friendship because he's not available for something more?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by byny
    Its a shame cos it sounds like you were quite good friends but now it seems he's given you false hope?? t least he made up his mind though. Can't you still be friends with him instead of ignoring him? you never know what might happen with his girlfriend, they may not be together in a months time.

    I'm not saying you should hang around hoping it'll happen but why break up what does seem like a nice friendship because he's not available for something more?

    Deep down, I know I couldn't trust him. It's complete wishful thinking. Even he, himself said he would let me down.

    We are still mates. We always will be, I can natter too much to him, and I love that. Just annoyed I can't like, sex him and stuff. But c'est la vie. ;)
Sign In or Register to comment.