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Confusion

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I broke up with this gurl a year and 7months ago and since all i seem to do is go round in circles when someone new comes along. i find myself ready for a relationship but when it comes to it i end up not being intrested any more. i know i've moved on, i'm sure of it but i cant help but think my problems in this situation have spouted from the gurl i broke up with so long ago. i blame myself for wot happened with her, but since my intrests have gone out the window with every girl i meet. i like the feeling of something fresh and new i'm sure u do, dont get me rong i no how 2treat a gurl and make her feel special if she is special but i get unintrested very quickly. again i go round in circles from being intrested very quicly 2being unintrested very quickly.

also i find problems to quickly with anything and get all worked up about them and thats a big turn off i know for gurls because it shows i'm insecure where as to start with i'm confident. :nervous:

i'm goin out of my mind because at the moment i'm seeing a really nice gurl and i dont want to loose her the way i lost the others so quickly but its hard to talk to her about whats going on in my head. i'm tryin my best to put it behind me and not let it get in the way of things but its still fresh on the surface of my mind when ever i see her.

i've tried every which way in the book and my own ways to loose these feelings and thoughts bout wot appened b4, u no like one night stands and seeing several different gurls at a time so it wud occupy my thoughts but some how when it comes down to actually settleing my mind plays the same record which seems to be broken and goin over and over the same thing again and again.
i feel i'm just being stupid..........am i?

will

Exictus acta probat
The outcome justifys the deed

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Confusion
    Originally posted by b_will
    i'm goin out of my mind cos at the mo i'm seein a really nice gurl n i dont want 2loose her the way i lost the others so quickly but its hard 2talk 2her about wots goin on in my head. i'm tryin my best to put it behind me n not let it get in the way of things but its still fresh on the surface of my mind when ever i c her.

    I've only skim-read your post because it really is difficult to read with all those abbreviations, so pleeeease try to avoid that as it's easier to give advice if it's easier to read your post.

    But enough of the lecture. I think you've got the right idea with what you said there (the bit I've quoted) - you need to try to put it behind you and try not to get anxious over nothing. If you really can't move on from the other girl then you might need to stay single for a little longer, to give you time to clear your head.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sit her down and talk to her about how you feel. Tell her what you've told us and make sure she understands what pressure you feel under. She can either agree to help you out best she can or break it off. What you need is honesty in your relationships and a little more effort on your part rather than just giving up as soon as something becomes routine. I think your problem is you never seem satisfied and well, with that kind of attitude, you're never going to settle like you want to. So yea, sit her down and share a little honesty. You seem a little insecure and you mentioned that, well dont be shy, talk to her about it. I'm sure she'll understand, and if she doesnt, then shes not really worth it because you dont want a relationship with a girl whose not willing to put in the effort to support you...

    My god i actually understood that post... :rolleyes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by LadyT
    Sit her down and talk to her about how you feel. Tell her what you've told us and make sure she understands what pressure you feel under. She can either agree to help you out best she can or break it off. What you need is honesty in your relationships and a little more effort on your part rather than just giving up as soon as something becomes routine. I think your problem is you never seem satisfied and well, with that kind of attitude, you're never going to settle like you want to. So yea, sit her down and share a little honesty. You seem a little insecure and you mentioned that, well dont be shy, talk to her about it. I'm sure she'll understand, and if she doesnt, then shes not really worth it because you dont want a relationship with a girl whose not willing to put in the effort to support you...

    My god i actually understood that post... :rolleyes:

    i understood it too...... and to be honest i feel just the same on some levels there.

    i'm goin out of my mind because at the moment i'm seeing a really nice gurl and i dont want to loose her the way i lost the others so quickly but its hard to talk to her about whats going on in my head. i'm tryin my best to put it behind me and not let it get in the way of things but its still fresh on the surface of my mind when ever i see her.

    i know exactly where your are coming from there mate... i aint never learnt to deal with it though.. best advice i can offer is the same as everyone else... sit her down, talk about it with her and ask her for her support and help to get you past the obsticle.

    its all i can offer im afraid as this is as far as i have got myself, sorry for not being much help :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi m8,

    i know exactly what u mean when u say u get disintrested in a girl very quickly. All couples have a honeymoon period its just that my honeymoon lasts for about a week. I remember that before i was going out with my current Gf i got on really well with her and i would have done anything to go out with her. So when i finally did get with her it lasted a week before my honeymoon wore off.

    I dont know if its the chase i enjoy more, and it pisses me off cause i know i should like this girl more than life itself but my enthusiasm for her is waning.

    My therory is that im really insecure so maybe its a defence mechanism to stop myself gettin attached and then being hurt. I always feel that a girl must be going off of me after a week so it doesnt feel bad if im not as enthustiastic for her as i once was. Its really messed up and i know i need help, but maybe you can relate to this.
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