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My Dad

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
for a fair few years now, my dad and i have been growing steadily apart. this is due to the fact that i was just growing up, and could talk to my mum more easily about things.

but in the past 6 months, things have been really bad with us. evrything he says to me is a sarcastic, condescending remark, or he just laughs at me, and makes me feel really small, with everything i do.

he thinks i dont do enough around the house (i start uni soon so am in the house most of the time) and that i am selfish, arrogant and bone-idle. all of this couldnt be farther from the truth.

now i am starting to talk back to him, when he comes out with a comment or laughs at me, as i dont like anyone treating me like that, never mind my own dad. but now because of this, he thinks i have an "attitude" and seems to resent me even more.

as a result of all this, im beginning to resent being at home, as it makes me miserable and i become short tempered with my mum and little brother.

i have talked to him a few times when he's actually pushed me to tears, and hes promised he'll change but that only lasted a few days. my mum tells him hes going to push me away altogether soon, but he doesnt listen to her.

sorry, im not sure what the point of this was, i just wanted to get it out, and have a rant. thanks for listening, and if anyone has any suggestions of how to improve the situation, it would be great

thanks
xx

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You just described my situation. My dad is driving me mad, he's a compulsive liar always twisting things so that i get in trouble and always always taking his bad moods out on me and saying i'm lazy and i'm a stirrer, he lies about *everything*. He loaded a porn thing on the internet and blamed *me* for it!!!!! I offered to get someone to take it off and he said no and he sometimes hits me if not hes never far off. He brings me and my mum to tears all the time. Then everytime he says "sorry it wont happen again" then the next day it starts again! It's driving me mad, my grandad has got cancer and my dad is adding to the stress. I want to move out. I try to keep away from him now which is a sad thing to say about your own dad. I'm at the end of my tether, i cant talk to him cos he'll just go mad...I dont know what to do.

    So paperdoll if you need to talk then pvt me and we can slag our dads off. I wish my mum would divorce him.:mad:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    awww, jellygirl *hugs* i totally understand wot ur goin thru aswel. dads eh? who'd have em?! *grrr*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Paperdoll - It may just be that your dad loves you so much but is having difficulty dealing and relating to the adult you. For him you've probably always been a little girl but now hes finding it hard to handle the fact that you are growing up. Perhaps in his own way he thinks he is protecting you from things he think may be a bad influence, its just that he's going about it the wrong way.
    If your relationship was good once it can be again, you just have to try to talk to him like an adult. Perhaps he would really appreciate it if you sat down with him and had an honest talk about things without getting upset or angry?

    Jellygirl - If your dad is hitting you then there is something seriously wrong...is there anyone you can talk to? I had a difficult relationship with my dad and I wanted my mum to divorce him but when I was growing up my mum had no confidence, little financial security and no way was she going to leave us kids behind. However, once they had divirced my friendship with my dad got much stronger. It sounds to me like this just isn't possible in your case so perhaps you should make every effort to get out...it may be difficult but for your own sake if its possible to leave you should.
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